Finding myself feeling anxious again today. I think it's a bit of dread about not knowing what's ahead of us, or of when I'll see my family around the dining room table again.
Hub and I will need to adjust in this period of figuring out how to navigate these trying times. He left for a weeklong snowboard trip on March 8, just shortly after this virus had begun to make its way into the collective consciousness of most of us. I stayed home, leaving the house only a couple of times that week, watching the news and reading daily reports of the trajectory of the virus taking hold here and around the world. We were not together when things here started to feel like they were falling apart with school closures, limits on work, meetings, gatherings, cancelling professional sports seasons, etc etc. He came home a day after the girls arrived and we've been consumed with kid care with little time or energy for our own processing together.
Now we start to sort out how we negotiate a different way to be for awhile. We are serious about keeping ourselves and others healthy, and not over-burdening the health care system by needlessly exposing ourselves and then being the ones also needing care. We will follow the city and state-wide directives to stay home unless absolutely necessary. Occasional groceries is all we can think to need.
Tonight the house feels so quiet; like something essential is missing. I know it will feel like this for awhile. And then it will be the usual quiet, tidy, comfortable and a lovely refuge for Hub and me. We will tackle some projects, get the gardens ready for spring, read, write, talk, go for walks, cook, eat, binge-watch something or other on TV and we will weather this storm. It just feels like the world has tilted off-axis and I need to find some sense of equilibrium, even if I have to hang onto a handrail to do it.
At least, that's the view from here...©
Photo Credit: Revalatori.com -- go there and buy something; she's great.
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