Whew! I have written at least one blog post a month since I started this enterprise in 2012. I very nearly blew it this month. Here I am on August 31st at 5:00 p.m. PDT. I'm getting this in under the wire. No, it's not midnight, but my energy for anything wanes quickly past 6:00.
I blame Hub. He has come down with a touch of the cancer and it has totally wrecked havoc with my schedule. And my weight. I'm sorry, for sure, that he got a dreaded diagnosis. What followed was multiple specialist visits, tests and scans and more tests. And many, many commutes (during RUSH HOUR!) 30 miles south to the big city hospitals and clinics down I-5. The traffic is legendarily awful. This has all been very stressful for me and I might have packed on a few pounds.
Here is why: First, of course, cancer is a pretty terrible word. There is shock, when everything gets sort of blurry for awhile. The news feels surprising, unfair, and unbelievable. Standard response. Second comes fear, which creates a wee bit of anxiety that can cause multiple long and sleepless nights, leaving one with the "hit by a truck" feeling for days. Then the stress and the logistics, which can really only be dealt with effectively by consuming sugar. Lots of sugar. Ice cream, candy, cookies, pastries, and daily Starbucks mochas. Medical facilities understand this, so the treatment center Hub went to considerately incorporated a full-sized Starbucks store into their lobby. "Welcome, Donna!" I pulled up a chair and indulged at each visit.
Notice the past tense in that last sentence? I had no energy to write about this until now. Hub didn't want it broadcast at first, needing to do his own acceptance process and research of docs and treatments so he could settle on a plan without advice from all quarters. Then we just had to get through the multiple appointments, pre-procedure procedures, and then the treatments themselves, completed last week -- exactly 5 months from diagnosis to completion of the rigamarole of it all.
And what cancer bug bit him you ask? Prostate. The "old guy" cancer. It really doesn't get much respect in general conversation because it is so common and every guy seems to get it if they live long enough. The saying is "You don't die from it; you die with it." It's so slow growing (in most cases) that death comes from other causes before the cancer kills you, especially if you are on the upper, upper end of the age spectrum.
OK. Fine. It's still a serious thing and we didn't take it as lightly as some do. There was the option to do nothing -- to take what they call the "active surveillance" approach. Just keep monitoring and see how it goes. Nope, not for us. Hub is not "old, old" and is in otherwise good health. We felt it worth treating now instead of waiting for things to get more dire.
Hub considered surgery -- just cut the damn prostate out. We met with a top surgeon who said, "Sure, I can do that!" And proceeded to spin a horror story of a multiple hour surgery, waking with a catheter, then Depends, then short-term, or maybe long-term, very unpleasant and life-altering side effects. But the cancer would be gone along with the prostate. Done and dusted. (Unless it recurred somewhere else in the body.)
"OK. What else ya got?", we wondered. Another approach would be a high tech, highly targeted radiation regimen which studies showed had really good outcomes (on par with surgery), far fewer side effects, and was non-invasive (no scalpels). It's called Cyber Knife radiation surgery. I liked the ring of that. Sort like an army of Ninjas swooping in to save the day. The doc who pioneered this procedure a couple decades ago saw Hub and said he'd be a great candidate. Hub was sold. We started down that path and ended the therapy last week.
We got to know the office staff, the techs, and the robot which moved around Hub's body for 30 minutes during each of 5 sessions and aimed radiation at his prostate in the exact right locations based on "markers" that had been inserted pre-treatment. Some really smart and tech-y person in another room monitored the whole thing on a computer to be sure the robot was getting it right. Hub said he was comfortable, listened to some blues music, and a couple of times fell asleep (no sedative needed). I was not allowed to be a witness to any of this, nor did I have time since I was expected at Starbucks. My barista would worry if I didn't show up.
We are a week out from the last treatment and so far Hub has had a few mild side effects that are getting better. We are delighted. And still cautious. He has a one month re-check, a three month re-check, a six month re-check, and then re-checks every six months for five years. Cancer can be pesky. We hope it's all gone away.
Here is Hub's PSA for PSA (Public Service Announcement for Prostate Specific Antigen):
Hub gave me permission to write about his private health journey because he wants every man to know how important it is to get a PSA test. It's a simple blood test at the doctor's office to test for an elevation in the PSA level of the prostate. If the value is only a little above normal, there may be a "wait and see" time. If the next time you test it goes up again, that's suspicious and you might want to investigate further. If it goes up a lot, get to a specialist (urologist) right away and then see if a biopsy is indicated and go from there.
This may be a common, slow growing cancer, but it does kill 1 out of 44 men annually. And no one knows if they have the slow-growing kind. Some are much more aggressive. Getting that early diagnosis can save you.
Just know that your partner may tip the scale on the heavier side along the way. Be kind.
At least, that's the view from here...©
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P.S. Seriously, this has been a journey and we are very aware of how fortunate we are to live in an area with top-notch cancer specialists. Every single doctor we saw in every single medical facility was excellent. The support staff were skilled and caring. Hub felt well-cared for; I felt included. As for technology -- we can grouse about the dangers and frustrations of "tech", but it is also rather miraculous that smart people do smart things with computers and robots. We are grateful. 🙏🏽
Photo Credit: Me. My perch on the "green" (just outside Starbucks) at the drop off for the hospital/clinic.
