Tuesday, March 31, 2020

14. DAILY MUSINGS DURING THE PANDEMIC COVID 19 - FACE TO FACE

It's been 2 weeks of daily sharing my thoughts here.  I'm going to stop doing this so regularly.  But I will continue to contemplate, journal, and blog about this time in our history and how my family, friends, community, and I have been impacted.

Today, confusion.  There is so much pain and anxiety around this and I find so much gratitude and joy in each day too.  Maybe that's just how life goes and this has made us all raw enough to realize it.  We are not lost in the fever dream of busy-ness or nonsense -- in things that are so crazily unimportant. We are in this moment of survival, of caring for each other, of appreciation.  At least that's true for me.

I'm sure there are some who are just pissed off, or ignoring the whole thing, or so frightened that they can't find any peace.  And of course, I'm only talking about those of us who are "well" and not those fighting off the virus, or fighting for their lives.  Or those risking their own lives to fight on our behalf in clinics and hospitals.

One big thing today -- Hub and I went for our usual walk at the waterfront Marina.  Fresh air, sunshine, breezes, and a few strangers to smile and nod at, when suddenly a woman came jogging toward us, slowed and said, "Don't I know you?" with a big smile on her face.  I was stunned!  Here was an "in the flesh" woman I know; a new friend I've made in a FB group where we support each other in going sugar free, eating healthy, and moving our bodies.  I've only met her in person a few times, but we shared deeply in posts and messages online.  We've found a lot in common and a common bond of working toward good health.

We stopped to chat, both smiling awkwardly and sort of in awe, to see someone real that we know.  She said, "I feel like crying".  I realized tears were welling in my eyes too.  We stood far apart (way more than 6 feet), smiling and allowing tears, then moved on to chatting about this and that before parting again.

In this time of physical distancing, even with Zoom and social media and all the rest, I realized in those few moments how much I've missed the face-to-face reality of another person to see and talk with (well, besides Hub).  I realized that what we take for granted is indeed precious.

I hope we all come out of this healthy and with a new perspective, with a new vision for a better way to live.

At least, that's the view from here. ©


Sunday, March 29, 2020

13. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19 -- WILL TO DO WHAT MUST BE DONE

3.29.20  I read today that temporary field hospitals are being created in sports stadiums, arenas, and large tent facilities on community soccer fields.  It's a new world.  I'm amazed at the skill and ingenuity to make this happen so quickly.  Maybe I haven't lost faith in humanity after all.

But I grieve that it takes a pandemic to create the will to do great things and to look out for each other.  I wish this steely will would extend to addressing gun violence deaths, climate change action, addressing the lives at risk due to obesity and sedentary lifestyles (leading to heart attack, stroke, diabetes and other illnesses), humane immigration policies, criminal justice reform, all the "isms" and on and on...

A pandemic got our attention, but suffering and death are not new phenomena.  Just sayin'.

At least, that's the view from here...©

PHOTO CREDIT:  Lester Black, Seattle PI

Saturday, March 28, 2020

12. DAILY MUSING DURING THE PANDEMIC COVID-19 -- NEW NORMAL

3.28.20  I had a moment today when I realized I'm adjusting; instead of that off-balance swirl of chaos feeling, my mind instead said in response to noticing on our walks that people take a wide berth when passing on the sidewalk, or stand far apart when talking together as a group, "This is just the way it is now..."  And those things seemed, well, not surprising.  They seemed "normal".  I am amazed at the human ability to be resilient, to adapt, to find a way forward.

At least, that's the view from here...©



Friday, March 27, 2020

11. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19 -- LEISURE TIME

3.27.20  NIGHT THOUGHTS:  Well, the sad truth is that I'm not doing enough.   My perfectionist self generally feels this way.  When I'm told to "do your best" I always assume I could do better with a bit more knowledge, effort, training, brain transplant...

I've been feeling this pressure for a long time around the political disaster we are living through and that I am personally responsible because I didn't doorbell enough, call enough legislators, send enough postcards, convince enough friends, send enough money.

And now I'm not even able to do enough to enhance my "physical distancing" life.  My FB feed and email notifications have gone from doom and gloom over politics to uplift and enrich while staying home.

Zoom is everywhere!  Zoom free concerts, poetry readings, book groups, church services, gatherings with friends and family!

Meditation teachers are eager for me to meditate more and for free!  Yoga opportunities at home abound!

Exercise classes want to be sure I stay fit in my seclusion -- lower body work outs, upper body workouts, weights, stretches, aerobics.

 Educational opportunities are now plentiful with free and reduced price online classes on all manner of subjects.

I'm asked to put a Teddy Bear in my window for kids to spot as they walk by on family outings; decorate my door with hearts to join in Hearts in a Window effort to show love for our community; bang pots and pans in the front yard to thank health care workers; put up Christmas lights or decorate my porch to delight the neighbors.

And clutter bust my house, organize my photos, get at that hobby I've always wanted to have time to  do, grow my own food, cook it, catch up on every show on every network and platform, listen to some new podcasts, read, read, read.

I know everyone is just trying to help and I truly appreciate the urge, but only in America can we take the horror of a pandemic, tell people to stay home and chill, then be sure to overwhelm them with a long leisure time "to do" list.  HAHAHA

At least, that's the view from here...©

Photo Credit: pixabay.com

Thursday, March 26, 2020

10. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19 - TAKE ME TO KANSAS

3.26.20  NIGHT THOUGHTS:  Tonight I'm thinking that it seems everything has stopped and nothing has stopped.  Software still freaks out, azaleas are budding, bills need to be paid, dishes washed, and kids sometimes get the shoes they have longed for....here are the "high heels" we heard about every single day last week from our 5 y/o girl.  She got them.  She's delighted.  So am I.  Now I wish she could click those heels together and take us all back to boring old normal "Kansas".

At least, that's the view from here....©


Wednesday, March 25, 2020

9. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19 -- ALMOST NORMAL

3.25.20  NIGHT THOUGHTS:  I've been feeling so isolated from my family and unsure how best to reach out -- not wanting to bug them, to pry, to be all helicopter-mom-ish.  I just want to know what's up with them, what they are doing, how they are feeling (not just physically).  It's hard to know how to parent adult children sometimes.  But I had a long and helpful talk with one of my sons and I feel better, for now.

I also did a hilarious trial run on Zoom with some friends and we are sort of hopelessly inept at this tech stuff, but we are trainable.

Hub and I took a sunshine filled walk along the Marina route we love.  I wrote a blog post.  I paid some bills.  I continued to set up my yoga space at home.  We ate a great veggies and mussels dinner and watched the last episode of the series "What's Eating America" about the intersection of food and American life.

I laughed; loved the slow pace of the day; loved hanging out with Hub.  I was not anxious -- the first day in weeks that I have held my anxiety at bay, after a significant bout of fear last night. (I found out someone close to me has the virus -- is doing well, with none of the terrible symptoms, but still...)

This is how it will go I guess.  Up and down and up and...looking for equilibrium.  Grateful for every pause that feels almost normal.

At least, that's the view from here...©

THIS SHIT GOT REAL


NOTE: I wrote and published this one before I added the Daily Musings, which is why it feels stuck in the middle.  Still relevant though.
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Nobody's laughing anymore.  Only a handful of idiots (mostly a few Red State politicians, some diehard partiers and...well, the current "President" of the United States) are taking this lightly.  I said two posts ago that Seattle was not a ghost town.  Now it is.

Here are today's numbers, to compare to my two previous posts on this topic:  Coronavirus worldwide: 460,065 cases; 20,828 deaths.  U.S.: 61,062 cases (including someone I know well); 20,828 deaths.  Washington State: 2469 cases (including someone I know well); 123 deaths.  The county in which I live: 614 cases; 16 deaths.

Many states, including here in Washington, are now on a "stay at home" order decreed by the Governor.  No one is to go out and about unless absolutely necessary -- for food, medications, essential services, work.  We can be out in nature going for walks and such if we keep a physical distance of at least 6 feet from other people.  Restaurants, bars, many retail stores, churches, gyms, theaters, etc etc etc are closed.  Meetings are cancelled (no gatherings allowed), weddings and funerals postponed.  Businesses closed; people are working from home.  Even the big Boeing assembly plant is shut down.   Health care providers and hospitals are begging people to stay home and stop the spread and alleviate the stress on hospitals and supplies which are in high demand and stunningly short supply.  I won't go into all the details here -- it is well documented and "coronavirus 2020" will show up in history books, no doubt.  This is a very consequential and terrifying period in our collective lives.

As for me:   Anxiety waxes and wanes.  At times I feel calm and secure in the knowledge that I am being so incredibly careful and sticking incredibly close to home that this thing can't catch me.  Then I'll feel a headache coming on, or a scratchy throat, or a little throat-clearing cough and I'm suddenly doing a body scan and counting on my fingers the days since I last saw someone outside my home or perhaps touched a surface and then my face unconsciously.  Then the anvil sits on my chest and I'm sure I can't breathe, which makes all the "symptoms" more pronounced.  I recognize it as an attack of anxiety and start my meditative breathing to calm the nervous system....and on it goes.

Hub and I are deadly serious about our physical distancing plan, only going out for groceries weekly, at the early morning designated "senior hours" at local supermarkets and Costco, implemented to try to shield older people from the general population.  It's been 16 days since I've seen any friends; 10 days for Hub.  We had our grandkids stay with us last week while their parents were traveling.  We are relieved they made it home before further limits on air travel took effect.  We loved having the girls with us, but now that they are home with their mom and dad, we are not sure when we will see them again.  They are all sticking close to home too, all of us fearful of inadvertently passing something along, unbeknownst.

This virus is most unforgiving to those over 60 and/or with underlying health conditions.  Hub and I are fortunate that we are basically healthy enough overall, but we are definitely on the over the hump side of 60.  Hub celebrated his 70th birthday last week, party postponed. At our ages, there is no longer a perfect health profile.

It's hard to describe how all of this is impacting us.  It's surrealistic; it's lonely; it's unsettling; it's chaotic; it's terrifying.  It's also oddly relieving to NOT have to keep up with the frantic pace of life; to be ordered to stay home and hunker down.  There is nowhere to go; nothing to do; no one we have to see.  As an introvert, I fluctuate between reveling in the open spaciousness of my days and feeling like "OMG, I'm trapped!"

And just saying that points to my privilege.  We have a big, warm, lovely home in a great neighborhood with all the amenities and plenty of food, entertainment options, access to email, text, Zoom, social media, etc.  We are retired and have enough money for now to see us through. (The stock market has crashed, though, so we will see how that goes over time.)  We love each other and enjoy each other's company, so being together is fun and comforting.  (I cannot even go there to the domestic violence and child abuse situations this stressful lockdown might be fostering, in some homes.)

I am grateful for so much right now -- for the new relationships forming online, for the many acts of compassion and care I'm witnessing in the local and wider community, for the seriousness with which many of us are making the sacrifices needed to slow the spread and "flatten the curve" of this outbreak, for selfless and dedicated health care workers who run into the fire every day at great risk to themselves, for families who are creatively finding ways to connect and be in touch supporting and encouraging and loving all the more, for finding that all we take for granted comes with no guarantee.  All we have and think is permanent is built on sand that can shift from under us at any moment.

Some are urging "social isolation".  I get it, but isolating socially is a lonely road and not accurate.  We need to practice physical distancing and social solidarity.  We are all in this together.  Find a way to reach out.

At least, that's the view from here...©


Tuesday, March 24, 2020

8. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19 -- PHYSICAL DISTANCE; SOCIAL SOLIDARITY

3.24.20  NIGHT THOUGHTS:  We've all been calling what we are doing, "social isolation" -- the staying home and away from others.  But a friend posted this meme on FB today and I love it.

We are NOT socially isolating; if anything I feel a community coming together in new and compassionate ways to offer support, encouragement, and strength to each other.

We may be physically distant, but are forging social connections that we can take beyond this crisis. We are in solidarity with each other, making this sacrifice together for the greater good of our communities near and far.

Keep your physical distance, but come together in social solidarity!  We are all connected.

At least that's the view from here...©

Monday, March 23, 2020

7. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19--ALTERNATE REALITY

3.23.20  NIGHT THOUGHTS: We just watched "This Week Tonight", the John Oliver show that was from March 15; only a week ago.    The things Oliver spoke of seemed like ancient history already, so quickly has our reality changed.  (Our governor issued a statewide "stay at home" order today.) 

It seems like the past three years have been like that -- one outrage, one crisis, one head-smacking "can you believe this is happening?!?" event after another.  I feel like since November 8, 2016 we've all been living in a nightmare or an alternate reality of some kind, making no sense in that way that dreams can seem so unreal, so surrealistic, familiar yet scary.  I want to wake up now.

At least, that's the view from here...

Photo Credit:  Revelatori. com (go there and buy something -- this is a print I bought)


Sunday, March 22, 2020

6. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19--NOTHING IS NORMAL

3.22.20  NIGHT THOUGHTS:  Let's get this out of the way first: I cried all morning, missing my grand girls already after their week with us.  Wondering how I can figure out how to see and hear from each other during this social distancing thing.  I hear other families are using Zoom conferencing, getting together but staying 6-9 feet apart, FaceTiming on the phone etc.  We can do this, but I long for those big hugs that are so much a part of our family time.   I also think I'd held so much in last week, that my emotions about all of this were bound to spill out.  They did.

The virus now has descended upon a friend in NYC.  At least she thinks so.  She has all the symptoms, but was refused a test because her temperature was not quite high enough to "qualify".  But they ruled out everything else so told her to assume she has it.  The lack of testing is a travesty and while I have no energy for political ranting right now, the current "president" and his administration have totally screwed this up, with their slow response to the inevitable, the downplaying of the severity of the situation, and refusal to use WHO test kits in favor of letting private providers develop their own at great delays and no labs to read and interpret them.  We have no idea how many people are infected, but it's way, way more than we know.

Today I was grateful for another sunny day, a long walk, moving furniture around to accommodate a designated yoga space at home, a quiet dinner with Hub, and looking forward to some TV time tonight.  Not much different, really, than a normal Sunday.  Except the nagging knowing that nothing is really normal right now.

At least, that's the view from here...©



Saturday, March 21, 2020

5. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19--QUIET AND LONELY

3.21.20 MORNING THOUGHTS:  The girls are making Welcome Home pictures and cards for their parents.  I will miss this silly laughter, smiles, hugs.  I'm so grateful for this time with them.

Finding myself feeling anxious again today.  I think it's a bit of dread about not knowing what's ahead of us, or of when I'll see my family around the dining room table again.

NIGHT THOUGHTS:  Returned the girls to their mom and dad tonight.  They were excited to be home, to see their parents.  I am happy for them all.  And sad for me.  No hugs at the door.  Just dropped things and left after last hugs with the girls.  Not normal.

Hub and I will need to adjust in this period of figuring out how to navigate these trying times.  He left for a weeklong snowboard trip on March 8, just shortly after this virus had begun to make its way into the collective consciousness of most of us.  I stayed home, leaving the house only a couple of times that week, watching the news and reading daily reports of the trajectory of the virus taking hold here and around the world.  We were not together when things here started to feel like they were falling apart with school closures, limits on work, meetings, gatherings, cancelling professional sports seasons, etc etc.  He came home a day after the girls arrived and we've been consumed with kid care with little time or energy for our own processing together.

Now we start to sort out how we negotiate a different way to be for awhile.  We are serious about keeping ourselves and others healthy, and not over-burdening the health care system by needlessly exposing ourselves and then being the ones also needing care.  We will follow the city and state-wide directives to stay home unless absolutely necessary. Occasional groceries is all we can think to need.

Tonight the house feels so quiet; like something essential is missing.  I know it will feel like this for awhile. And then it will be the usual quiet, tidy, comfortable and a lovely refuge for Hub and me.  We will tackle some projects, get the gardens ready for spring, read, write, talk, go for walks, cook, eat, binge-watch something or other on TV and we will weather this storm.  It just feels like the world has tilted off-axis and I need to find some sense of equilibrium, even if I have to hang onto a handrail to do it.

At least, that's the view from here...©

Photo Credit:  Revalatori.com  -- go there and buy something; she's great.

Friday, March 20, 2020

4. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19--WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN?


3.20.20  MORNING THOUGHTS: Another day of sunshine and gratitude for it. Already thinking of the girls going home tomorrow and their parents return and how the rhythm of our days will shift dramatically.  We will miss them so much. Our days have been a cocoon of the four of us in "isolation" from the world, but our world has been brighter and happier because they've been in it.  Once they go home, we will be isolating alone, just the two of us, which will be quiet and sweet and I'm so grateful for my partner through everything.  And I'm thinking of trying to set up a Zoom connection for family and friends.

Son Two and Lovely Fiance are home together now, as he recuperates and she works from home.  Son One and Beautiful DIL will be at home tomorrow night, reunited with their girls, although DIL will likely return to work at the clinic next week where she will find a stressful environment no doubt.  They are a COVID clinic and she will need to manage personnel and supplies -- a daunting task, getting worse each day.

The hardest part for me will be not seeing my family, not hugging those I love.  And I am grateful that we all have each other, both close up in our own homes, and afar, with social media and technology to connect us for now.

Today the girls are helping me dismantle St Pat's Day and will be putting up Easter decorations.  Then we will carry all the houseplants out to the yard to repot them.  Nurturing living things is a healing practice.

NIGHT THOUGHTS:  Last night of tucking the girls in and I am crying.  I'll miss them so much.  This has been such a sweet bonding time of memory-making together.  This is their second home; they love it here and have not been homesick at all.  But today they both started to feel the pull toward their own house, their mom and dad, and they are excited about going home tomorrow.  My tears will fall and I will adjust, as I always do...

At least, that's the view from here...©






Thursday, March 19, 2020

3. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID-19--FINDING A JOYFUL RESPITE

3.19.20 MORNING THOUGHTS:  At 7:10 a.m. two beautiful little girls showed up at my bedside singing, "Good Morning, Good Morning" and told me it was "wake up time".  Indeed.

Another brilliantly sunny day stretches before us.  Grateful we are not trapped inside.  We plan to go out and keep our distance from others at parks, at the beach, on close-by nature trails this week.

Last night after our family movie (we've seen both Frozens and are working our way through the three Madagascars) Jon and I turned on Rachel Maddow to get caught up.  Within 10 minutes my stomach was in knots, my breathing shallow, my heart pounding -- familiar anxiety response.  I watched the whole show and went to bed short of breath.  Lesson:  I may not be able to take in so much of this news of the virus.  It is too upsetting; too terrifying.  It is a horror story unfolding and I cannot help but see me and those I love in starring roles.

Son Two got home from London on Monday, where he and friends went for what was supposed to be a fabulous pre-wedding trip (enhanced "bachelor party") to watch favorite soccer teams play in their home stadiums.  All matches were cancelled and while he says they had a good time, the trip was obviously overshadowed by the impending shut down and travel restrictions due to the spreading virus.  They were inundated by calls and texts from worried state-siders (including me), creating even more frustration.  I backed off, but I'm glad he's home.  He returned with some congestion and a cough, but no fever.  After talking to his doctor they determined it's probably a head cold.

Every sniffle seems cause for concern these days and harder to just brush off as 'nothing'.  I hate being on high alert.  I hate being afraid for, and of, my own family.  I feel deep grief for all the ways we have had to adjust to this temporary new normal.

But I also notice all the ways in which people are helping each other -- post after post of positive, uplifting messages and examples of people helping others.  So there's that.


NOON THOUGHTS:  I find this photo deeply sad and also inspirational. We are all in this together.  Every personal decision affects another person.  We must all do our part.

We are a little family of four this week with our granddaughters. We have kept our distance even when on our nature outings.  I watch closely; I double we've come within 10 feet of another person.  Everyone is aware.

NIGHT THOUGHTS:  Another beautiful day of gratitude for our health; our family; our granddaughters with us.

Keeping those in our thoughts who are less fortunate and for those working so hard to help the sick.  I stayed away from media today for the most part, being in the moment of my own life, and knowing I am so blessed.

We spent a lot of time outdoors today, breathing fresh air, keeping our distance from other people, but smiling a hello to those very few we met along the trail.

Got to video chat with Son One and Beautiful DIL today from London.  They stayed an extra week after the "guy trip".  I worry about them, but they are having a good time and so far all is well for them. They do notice changes there and will find a new world in the U.S. when they return.

Tonight we watched the live action version of Disneys' Aladdin.  I absolutely loved it.  The colors, the costumes, sets, story.  I loved the animated version when my boys were little too; even bought the soundtrack and discovered I remembered all the words as I sang along to the movie tonight.  A joyful respite from the current state of the world.

At least, that's the view from here...©





Wednesday, March 18, 2020

2. DAILY MUSING DURING PANDEMIC COVID-19--SENDING THANKS

3.18.20  MORNING THOUGHTS:  Woke up feeling...."normal"?  Not anxious.  Not obsessed.  It feels like such a relief, even if it's only temporary.

Grateful for these brilliant sunny days -- always a heart-opening, uplifting experience for me.  Realizing how healing it is for me to have my mornings to myself, to stare out the window, read, think, write.  Write -- I've written my way through every event of my life.  It is so important to how I process, learn, grow, comfort.

A while ago our 10 y/o granddaughter sat down with me and asked, "So, where did this virus come from?"  We have not had the news on at all when the girls are awake, have not talked much about it between/amongst us, but she is aware because she is totally attuned to everything around her and has a maturity beyond her years. Plus, they got a bit of an explanation at school, but no details which of course she needs.  I notice that she, like me, wants the truth and to try to know what to expect in any situation.

I told her what I know about tracing the virus back to animals, how it spread, and why we are "socially distancing" to stop it.  She observed that "everything has changed" and listed the ways in which her life is different: no school, no friends to hang out with, no playgrounds or museums or movie theaters, no trips to Target or Dairy Queen.  And of course she is right.  I told her this is history and when she is older she can say, "I remember that time; I was 10."  I told her in time this will go away and life will resume in more familiar and maybe even better ways.


Then she hopped up to work on the card she is making to send to the long-term care center where my friend's mother has been living.  We decided to be helpful and encouraging to others because it is a loving, kind thing to do. She is so happy when she is crafting and helping.  What a girl!

NIGHT THOUGHTS:  A day of fun and also frustration.  Our 5 y/o had a rough day.  Not every day is perfect, right?  Short tempers, mini tantrums, things not going smoothly.  But we made it.  All was smiles and hugs at bedtime.  Real life.  Thankful to have these beautiful beings with us, to love and care for them, to teach and encourage, to applaud their greatness and breathe through their challenges.  Thankful for sunshine.  Thankful for the beauty of where we live.  Thankful for health.

At least, that's the view from here...©





Tuesday, March 17, 2020

1. DAILY MUSINGS DURING PANDEMIC COVID 19--I BEGIN

I'm going to include my daily Facebook posts here; a history of this historical moment.  The coronavirus, Covid-19 struck here in January.  The very first confirmed case in the U.S. was hospitalized in our town.  The current Administration has been slow to respond, downplaying the seriousness of this illness, and has continued to mismanage at every turn.  Our governor, on the other hand, has shown real leadership and has aggressively and earlier than most closed schools, limited gatherings, and likely will soon issue a "stay at home" order to keep citizens inside unless for essential business (groceries, medication, some workers).

These blog posts may last longer than Facebook since I also publish my blogs into books at the end of each year.  Here goes, for whoever is interested in my musings...maybe descendants who will come after?
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3.17.20  MORNING THOUGHTS:  Mornings are the hardest.  I was home alone all last week, and thought that was why I woke up feeling lonely and anxious.

But Hub's been back since Sunday and I still wake up sad.  These are hard times for all of us and especially so for many of us who like a future that feels solid and at least slightly predictable.   These topsy turvy ever-changing days filled with uncertainty are hard.

This morning another announcement of another of my healing spaces, in addition to my beloved yoga studio is closed -- now the lovely place I go for massage every 6 weeks.  We are finding out that really our own self-care practices must sustain us now, along with the family we are hunkering down with, the social circles we hopefully still can access via phone, text, email, or social media, the view from our windows, the stroll around the yard, or planing the spring garden.

We have our Grandgirls with us this week, who provide an "innocent of all this drama" distraction.  With schools closed, they are here 24/7 while their parents are traveling in the U.K. (bad timing for a long-awaited and planned for trip; I worry.)  We have family movie night every night and try to keep their days busy with activities and outings.

Today they are both massively excited to decorate the house for Hub's BD party  which will be just the 4 of us as we've cancelled a larger celebration.  It will be sweet nonetheless.  They've crafted gifts and are planning a Treasure Hunt -- the pot o' gold at the end of the rainbow.

I'm incredibly grateful for my warm home, the love of family, the view I have of the sunrise this morning, and spaces of connection.

NOON THOUGHTS:  Super fun morning celebrating Hub's BD.  The girls did a great job with decorations and gifts.  Downside was our little one not feeling great. She seemed feverish to me, but registered normal. A bit of a cough.  Keeping a close eye on her since finding out a parent of a child at her preschool has tested positive for Covid 19.

I'm unsure if my intermittent shortness of breath is COVID-related or another anxiety attack.  Tense times.

I'm letting the girls have some screen time this afternoon; I've had to relent and tell them, "OK my TV really does get channels other than 'boring news shows'.

NIGHT THOUGHTS:   Watched primary results tonight. Looks like another sweep for Biden.  Maybe politics will feel relevant to me again soon.  For now I'm still trying to wrap my head and heart around our new normal of staying home and/or away from people...and sanitizing/washing more than I thought possible!  Grateful for social media outreach and encouragement while navigating these uncharted waters.

At least, that's the view from here...©

Friday, March 13, 2020

BEWARE VIRUS ON AMAZON BOXES!

Of course my security camera alarm went off at 3 a.m. today, because I'm not quite anxious enough.  I've not yet had a full blown, "I'm having a heart attack!" panic attack.  I credit my meditation and yoga practices for this relative "calm" (I use that word lightly.)  As I said in my last post, Pandemics and Health Anxiety Disorder do not play well together.  Sigh.  Deep breath.

So here's a paragraph from my last post exactly a week ago:  "...there are 100,000 diagnosed cases (of Covid 19 novel Corona virus) worldwide; 233 in the United States.  There are 39 cases confirmed in Washington State -- 31 in King Co (Seattle) and 8 in the county where I live.  Deaths worldwide stand at 3,400; 12 in the United States with 10 of those in Washington."

Let's update:  There are are now 134,700 diagnosed cases worldwide; 1,663 in the United States.  There are 420 confirmed cases in Washington State -- 190 in King Co. (Seattle) and 108 in the county where I live.  Deaths worldwide stand at 4,973; 41 in the United States with 31 of those in Washington.

So, as you can see, things are swiftly going very, very badly.  Every epidemiologist and pandemic expert warns things will get worse.  The federal government has totally botched the response by not taking this seriously at the onset and not providing test kits immediately.  There are still only a relative handful of test kits for the whole country.  If one gets sick we are told to stay home and do self care unless you get REALLY sick, then get to a hospital which may or may not have a bed (and a ventilator for the worst cases.)

Older adults are still at highest risk  -- those over 60 with risk increasing with age.  Also anyone with an underlying health condition is at increased risk.  These include many common ailments (heart disease, respiratory issues, diabetes, those on immuno-suppresent drugs, and more.)

We continue to be told to wash our hands, keep our distance from others, stay home if sick.  I know that is good advice and I'm following it to the letter.  But part of me feels like it is a "duck and cover" drill to ward off the effects of nuclear blast.

I just read an article in MIT Technological Review that explained current experiments being run to determine how long the virus hangs around once coughed or sneezed out of an infected person's upper respiratory tract.  Obviously you want to stay away from coughs and sneezes, but what about the air?  Other surfaces?

Scientists' current understanding is that the virus droplets can float around in the air for up to 3 hours.  On surfaces it can be days.

Here's a scary factoid.  You've been stuck at home socially distancing as is recommended, but out of boredom you've been doing some online shopping.  When those Amazon cardboard boxes arrive at your doorstep, Covid 19 virus can live on them for up to 24 hours!  Get out the latex gloves before opening!

The virus also particularly likes stainless steel and plastic, where it clings the longest; three days and more; copper only a few hours.  My stainless sinks, refrigerator, stove, microwave, dishwasher? Yep; all that.  And plastic?  Isn't virtually every other object you touch at least partially made of plastic?  Your cell phone?  Duh!  (Fortunately it's easy to kill on these surfaces by using bleach, alcohol, or hydrogen peroxide. )

The article did offer the caveat that it is not proven that the virus can be transmitted from inanimate object to human, but it might, so keep those hands away from your face!  And wash, wash, wash.

On Wednesday it felt like the bottom of "normal" dropped out around here.  Our governor is showing real leadership and making hard decisions in an attempt to slow the rate of spread of this virus so our health care systems are not overloaded.  He cancelled all gatherings of over 250 people in the three county greater Seattle metropolitan area (that's me).  No sporting events, no concerts, no plays.  Every day I get a new email or FB post about other community gathering spots closing, like local park district programming, swimming pools, meetings of all types. Today, and it's still early, it was the local county-wide library system.  Schools here are closed for 6 weeks; churches are scrambling to live stream services held before empty pews.

Within 48 hours we now have national sports teams suspending seasons, Broadway in NYC going dark, museums closed, travel partially restricted from Europe (that's a dumb xenophobic move by the current president, but still in force) and on and on.  Businesses are shuttered and some may never recover.  People will lose income, have no childcare, and not be able to pay rent and bills.  The economic consequences will be vast.  The stock market plunged repeatedly in the past week with yesterday being the lowest it's been since the big crash in 1987.

It truly feels like this fell from the sky in a matter of days.  Our sense of "normal" has been tilted and it's like living on quicksand.  What next?

And also......there is a call to kindness. A call to compassion.  A call to help one another.  Informal support networks are springing up everywhere -- restaurants are closing their doors to customers but providing delivery and drive through services.  A local radio host sent out a call on her personal FB page to organize childcare assistance and teachers and childcare providers immediately come forth to offer their expertise and time to help struggling families.  There is a group I saw online organizing errand and grocery delivery for older adults who cannot or should not go out.  I expect this kind of community in crisis kindness will grow.  I hope so.  We are all in this together.  🙏🏽

At least, that's the view from here..©

Photo Credit: www.pixabay.com

https://www.technologyreview.com/s/615348/heres-how-long-the-coronavirus-can-stay-in-the-air-and-on-packages/


Friday, March 6, 2020

CORONA MOAN

Seattle is not a ghost town as I saw reported recently.  But it is, well, quieter.  People are staying home out of an abundance of caution or because they have no choice.  So many business and social activities have been cancelled that there's nowhere to go.  Tech industry workers and others are being given the option (or order) to telecommute.

We seem to be Ground Zero in the U.S. for the Covid-19 corona virus.  In fact the very first person diagnosed in the U.S. was hospitalized about 3 miles from where I'm writing right now.

At first it seemed like a weird, scary, but still sort of "not my problem" story.  Mostly this was a China thing -- it started there and people who had it had been traveling there.  Some were stuck on a cruise ship, but those floating petri dishes often have outbreaks of horror.  I don't travel to Asia and I'm not a cruiser.  No problem.

But as viruses do, it spread.  Suddenly people were diagnosed who had NOT traveled nor been near others they knew had traveled.  It seemed to just be springing up in the general population with no way to determine why some people were catching this bad bug.  And those who were diagnosed were really sick.  And some died.  And there is no vaccine.  No cure.  No way of stopping it.

This morning I read in USA Today that there are 100,000 diagnosed cases worldwide; 233 in the United States.  There are 39 cases confirmed in Washington State -- 31 in King Co. (Seattle) and 8 in the county where I live.  Deaths worldwide stand at 3,400; 12 in the United States with 10 of those in Washington, due to an outbreak in a long-term health facility for older adults.  In the grand scheme these numbers are not huge and can be brushed aside -- unless you or a loved one falls into this group of unfortunate souls.  But the fear is that this could continue to spread and become much, much worse.  So we are all getting very, very nervous.

State health officials have advised staying out of large groups of people, so events and meetings are being cancelled left and right.  Schools are closing when anyone is diagnosed, or even in contact with another who has been diagnosed.  The University of Washington has suspended all in person classes until end of term on March 20.  The local medical clinics are greeting every single patient outside their doors with hand sanitizer and a list of screening questions before they can enter.  People are cancelling trips to avoid airline travel, hotels, theme parks, and tourist sites.

Store shelves are empty of hand sanitizer, bottled water, and toilet paper.  I get the sanitizer (people have resorted to making their own -- recipes online proliferate).  I don't understand the water (is our water supply at risk?) nor the TP (a historically recent convenience, but OK, now seen as a necessity.)  N-95 particulate masks are being hoarded, in the belief that these will protect the wearer from catching the virus.  They likely won't because most people don't wear them properly.  The result is that health care facilities, who really do need them, are in short supply, putting patients and providers at greater risk.

Everywhere you go people are talking about the virus and what to do.

The CDC and Health Departments are advising hand washing (for at least 20 seconds with lots of lather -- sing Happy Birthday to estimate 20 seconds), don't touch your own face (to keep the virus from invading through eyes, nose, or mouth), stay at least 6 feet away from people (no more hugging or handshaking), stay home if you are feeling ill.  Older adults (over 60) and those with underlying health issues are at greatest risk.

I questioned that "over 60" thing (I'm healthy!  So what if I'm 69?) until it was explained to me that just the fact of being older weakens our immune systems.  But don't panic.  (Sure.  Tell that to a person who has health anxiety, even with no pandemic in the headlines.)

Mostly I'm "keeping calm and carrying on" with lots of deep breathing and obsessive hand washing.  I rarely touch a public surface with my bare hands anyway. (Not germaphobia!  Common sense!)  And I don't like large crowds.  But avoiding all people while living a normal, non-quarantined life is a challenge.  I went to the Y this week and to my yoga class and had the family over for dinner.  Hub went to Costco and god knows what is in the air there besides some invisible urging to impulse buy.  Some are advising me to "self-quarantine" by avoiding groups over 10 people in number, which has been recommended by the experts.  I don't know...I'll think about it.

What I do know is this is contributing to an ongoing sense of unease over so many things --

--the ongoing political shit-show that is the United States right now (won't even go into the many ways in which our current government is completely unable to effectively communicate about or respond to this virus crisis);

--the fact that the most diverse field of Democratic presidential candidates in history has come down to two pushing-80 white men, leaving me to mourn again the strongest, most capable candidate (a woman) dropped out yesterday. (Thank you Elizabeth Warren...next time!);

--the planet seems to be melting, drowning and suffocating us;

and on the personal front:
--confronting that I am aged into a high risk group for no reason other than years lived;

--Hub is suffering more and more from a shoulder issue that puts another major joint replacement surgery sooner rather than later on the horizon (just when his knee has healed from last year's surgery!),

--and I'm still not eating sugar which would, if I was, make all of this so much easier and better for as along as my hot fudge sundae lasted.

So, what to do?  Well, my mantra is: breathe, breathe, breathe, persist.

At least, that's the view from here...©

Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com