THE LAST DAY

 I've intended to write more often this month.  Well....good intentions and reality are different animals, right?  But here I am, on the last day of December, the last day of 2023, sitting down in a reflective mood.  

I have a well-documented love/hate relationship with the holidays.  This year is no exception.  I am so over it today.  But looking back on the season, which for me starts on Thanksgiving, I have much to feel grateful for; mostly, seeing so much of my family.  I have been sad that over the past few years (since the Covid Times) that we see each other less frequently than we used to. Covid kept us apart, and lives changed in other ways that I didn't predict. I've tried various strategies to reach out, keep in touch, encourage texts, etc between visits, but it's been met with somewhat less than enthusiastic response.  Adult children and growing grandchildren have other priorities.  I know.  I did too at their ages.  I just thought the "Magic Mom/Grandma" Seeds I planted would make it different for me.  Ha Ha  Nope.  

But when the holidays come 'round, so does everyone else.  Our family love grows in full flower over the holidays.  We gathered for Thanksgiving. A day later we all went to the Christmas Tree Farm together.  A week later most of us were able to attend  one of Granddaughter One's volleyball games (Hub and I went twice/weekly for several weeks -- so much fun to see her play) and out for pizza afterwards to celebrate Son Two's birthday.  Hub and I went to Granddaughter One's school choir Winter concert.  The next day, DIL Aunt and granddaughters met here to make Krumkaka -- passing on a Norwegian tradition from my family and Aunt's.  A little over a week after that all came over to celebrate my birthday (Hello #73!).  Then it was Christmas Eve together with Son One and his family (Son Two and DIL went to California for Christmas with her family.)  Christmas Day Son One and family were back here for more festivities.   Over Christmas break from school, Hub took 8-1/2 y/o Granddaughter Two snowboarding (a season pass and lessons was her big Christmas gift).  I got to spend a day with 14 y/o Granddaughter One going shopping -- and being fully immersed in the consumer life of an early teen. (She spent hours in Bath and Body Works and Old Navy!)  Son Two and DIL got home and we all gathered again for a second Christmas, the whole family together, yesterday.  Many hugs, much laughter, food, games -- sort of Hallmark-y, actually. I treasure all these together times and know that there will be a bit of a dry spell now when I won't see or hear from them so much.  But Granddaughter Two's BD is coming in late February...

So all in all, a good holiday season, amidst my angst about buying paltry gifts this year, barely decorating, letting others bring a lot of the food, getting tired of logistics at times, and lately just wanting all the red and green to go back in the attic.  

I realize that, like with so much else in 2023, I've let go. I've let go of what I used to do to create Christmas and I just let it unfold with lots of help, a quieter presence, a little less stress.  I've been doing this for a few years and even more this year.  It's different and fine, I think.

Tonight Son One and DIL are hosting a big New Year's Eve party.  Son Two and DIL are heading to good friends' house a ways away to celebrate and spend the night.  Hub and I are staying home, pup-sitting the nervous dog who will NOT be pleased with a houseful of revelers at his home.  I will make some zero-proof drinks for us.  Hub will likely pour a beer or a glass of wine for himself also.  We will eat leftovers from yesterday's family get together.  We might watch a movie.  I will try to stay awake until midnight.  If not, Hub will wake me to watch the official Seattle countdown from the Space Needle on TV.  We will head up to our upper floor covered porch, taking in the lights of the city and watching the informal fireworks going off around us.  We will toast the new year, share a kiss, marvel that this will be our 54th NYE together (including dating) and collapse into bed.  I don't feel I'm missing anything at all with this plan.  It is perfect, as it's been for several years now, to stay home and be quiet.  

At least, that's the view from here...© 

Photo Credit:  Daniel Kim/Seattle Times/2021 (New Years at the Space Needle)

A MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAY STORY

'Tis the season for reaching out in kindness, for seeing others as we see ourselves, for finding our common humanity....

Here is an actual and true story of my trip to the grocery store this morning:

I got in the checkout line behind a woman wearing a Washington State Cougars beanie.  (Our younger son went to college there, across the state from where we live, and I alway enjoy seeing others in their Coug gear -- reminds me of my son.  Go Cougs!)  

She turned to me after she scanned the magazines at the check out and said, "I don't understand this Taylor Swift thing.  How did she get to be Person of the Year on TIME?"

"Well", I answered, "she has had a very influential year...."

"Yeah, but it should be someone important!  I guess I'm old.  I'm 68.  But none of our musicians were ever the Person of the Year...maybe the Beatles, I don't recall.  It should be a president or something...but not the current president!"

Uh-Oh.  "Well, I replied, Taylor has a very positive message in her music and has a lot of influence.  I think being positive is a good thing, don't you?"

"Yes, that's why I am so ready to have a different president...the one we had before.  I agree with him.  I agree with everything he says.  I saw him on Hannity and I was so excited.  The way things are now, we can't speak our mind about anything."

"Really?" I replied.  "Like what?"  

"Like anything!  They don't want us to say anything they disagree with.  We can't speak up anymore. We are just supposed to shut up. I watch a lot of news and that's what they are saying."

"I don't think that's true.  I think we still have the freedom to speak about anything we want.  You are doing that right now, here in line at the Safeway.  No one is really stopping you."  

"Well, that's the American way!" She declared.

"Right! And we want to keep it that way, right?" I offered, looking for common ground.

"Yes, but we can't even say Merry Christmas!"

(Here we go...).  

"I don't know about that," I said. "I think you can say Merry Christmas if you want to..."

"No!  We are supposed to say Happy Holidays," she said with an eye roll.

"Well, there are a lot of winter holidays," I countered.  "And it would be a little hard to determine who celebrates what.  Christians might enjoy a Merry Christmas greeting but what about those who are not Christian?  They might want to feel included and respected too."

"Well who's respecting me?"  She was getting heated.  

"Kind of everyone, I think.  Merry Christmas has been around as the standard greeting for a long time.  I'm sure we have never known how our "Merry Christmas" came across to someone who didn't celebrate Christmas.  They just smiled and moved on.  That's being pretty respectful, right? And now we are just trying to be a bit more inclusive."

"Well, I don't know..."  We went silent for a few moments. When her groceries were bagged and paid for she looked at me with a small smile, "It was nice talking to you. Happy Holidays, I guess." She turned her back and walked away.

I called out, "Nice talking to you too.  Merry Christmas!"  She stopped dead in her tracks turned around and smiled again.  We both sort of chuckled.  Detente?

When it was my turn with the cashier, she said, "That was nice."  I replied, "Yes. We made peace.  Or at least it was a polite disagreement."

She offered, "I wish everyone could be nice to each other.  I'm from Minnesota."

"Oh!  Well you are automatically nice then!" I said, referring to the infamous "Minnesota Nice" trait of the state's residents.

"Yes, but we all say Merry Christmas. Everyone. No one says Happy Holidays."  

"Really?" I thought.  But I tried to approach the whole thing again..."But you know that does exclude some people, right?"

"No! I don't exclude anyone!  I also say Happy Hanukkah on the day and Happy Kwanza on Kwanza day..." (I didn't point out those celebrations last longer than one day...)

"Do you really?  That's unusual.  I don't hear that much.  But how do you know if a particular person celebrates those traditions?  Wouldn't it be easier to just lump the December observances into "Happy Holidays" to cover everyone so people don't feel excluded?"

"I suppose, but I don't want to."

And there we have it.  She was, it must be noted, wearing a "Happy Holidays" T-shirt mandated by her employer.  She wears it, but I guess she doesn't want to.

Maybe we should stick to "Go Cougs!" Maybe sports can unite us.  Unless the Cougs are playing the UW Huskies, then it's back to choosing a side...

At least, that's the view from here...©  

Photo Credit: www.pixabay.com