REEL LIFE AND REAL LIFE

On our Kauai vacation, I posted photos to my Facebook page almost every day.  Some people love to see others' vacation pictures (I DO!) and others do not (so "hide" me then), but I post mostly to feel not so far away from my friends and family.  I love seeing what they are up to and I assume they might feel the same about me.  I think Facebook is an interactive medium, so much so that if I'm FB friends with people who never "like", comment, or post, I unfriend them.  Why have people hanging around watching my life unfold without any commitment on their part to reciprocate or participate?

Anyway....on one post of the vacation a friend of mine said Hub and I looked like "poster kids for living the good life in retirement".  And I replied, "Remember, FB is 99% highlight reel!"  And it is. Some folks post about life's challenges, but not very often.  Most posts have a positive intention; a happy face or an educational and/or inspirational message.  Photos are usually framed to best effect and selfies can be taken over and over to get the best pose.

So, in the interest of revealing the "real" behind the "reel" let me list the ways in which the vacation was NOT the tropical perfection it might have appeared to be:

1.  Packing.  I do not like packing and I tend to pack really light.  Too light this time.  I got really sick of my clothes.  I keep notes year to year and my notes said to bring less this year, so I did. But I forgot to factor that last year we were there for 11 days and this year we stayed 16 days.  It made a difference.

2.  Flying to get to/from Hawaii.  Hate it.  Hate every single thing about it, starting with the drive to the airport.

3.  Clouds, wind, rain.  OK, it was warm even when it was cool.  You know, that stuff is relative.  I haven't had that warm breeze on bare skin feeling since last July.  But a couple days the clouds didn't lift and mist and showers and wind made for less than ideal beach weather.  In my mind I always picture blue sky, sunshine, and long, cooling dips in the pool. (Kauai is the "Garden Isle" for a reason -- it rains.)

4.  Somewhat cramped quarters.  Our timeshare is a "hotel conversion" meaning the units used to be hotel rooms.  They remodeled to include small kitchenettes with a sink, microwave, and small 'fridge, but basically it's a one-room studio apartment,  which feels smaller the more our stuff gets strewn about.  Also we have to make umpteen trips to the store for supplies due to sparse storage space.  BUT, we have an oceanfront view that is to die for.  Trade-offs.

5.  Costco trips.  I do not like grocery shopping.  Hub does most of it at home, but in Kauai it seems we combine the Costco runs with other outings so I am generally there every 2-3 days to buy more fresh fish, salads, yogurt, etc.  Our staples.  (See dearth of storage space above.)

6.  Lugging.  We could pay for valet parking and lugging assistance, but we, like 99% of guests, don't do that.  We park in the big lot and schlep our stuff from our unit to the lot (or vice verse) which my handy Fitbit tells me is 1/3 mile one-way.  This means anything we take on outings, we lug.  We lug groceries.  We lug snorkel gear.  We drag suitcases.  I tell myself "more steps!" on the daily count, but sometimes, well, I'd just like it all to be a bit more convenient, cuz it sucks to forget something in the room and have to go back.

7.  Noisy neighbors.  Generally the people here are pretty quiet.  But we had a trio of women next door to us part of the time who seemed to be on a bender of general LOUD hilarity, starting around 7 a.m.   One of them leaned over her railing one evening, drink in hand, to inform me (as I sat quietly reading on our balcony) that they left their husbands home and were here for a good time.  OK, I get that.  But not all of us have a good time at such high decibels!  With everyone having their doors open to the ocean and breeze, voices and raucous laughter carry. The walls are well insulated for sound, but we could still hear them through our adjoining wall, which is rarely the case,  so we knew they were louder than the general population.  Annoying.  The older I get the quieter I like it.

8.  People.  My introvert needs alone time.  But I didn't come to Hawaii to sit in my room.  So I have to mingle with people, observing if not actually interacting.  I already wrote about the day I saw a wife berating her husband publicly.  I also had to witness a mom repeatedly smacking her 4 year old little boy in the chest with a half-empty plastic water bottle admonishing him to "stop crying" -- the logic of which has never made sense to me, not to mention the heartbreak I felt at this scene of "discipline", which in my mind is abuse.  This kind of thing sticks with me, being the highly sensitive person I am.  (I saw lots of loving families and lovely people too.  Aloha-Spirit prevailed, mostly.)

9.  Nighttime adjustments.  Not my bed.  Not my bedroom.  I couldn't ever get totally comfortable in the bed and fought with the pillow.  I was either too hot (with door open to night air) or too cold (with AC blowing on me).  It was a bit noisy with door open (crashing waves, cars in the distance, people's voices as they walked by, roosters crowing all night long) or with door closed (AC fan starting and stopping).  The built-in nightlight in the bathroom was too bright, so I had to close the bathroom door.  The peepholes in the door seemed to create a laser light effect shining the hall light directly into my eyes as I lay in bed.  The WiFi router flashed a green light all night on the wall.  What's up with all that light???  We all have our idiosyncrasies (me = light and noise) which get amplified away from home.

10.  Homesick.  This time I actually did better than usual.  But there were a few days (the two when I was not feeling well and spent all morning in bed, especially) when I just wanted to be home in my own space.  I thought of my friends and family every day and was so thankful for texts and FB to keep me connected.  I missed my yoga studio, my coffee with friends, our family dinners, hugging my grandgirls.

So, yeah.  I realize how absolutely fortunate I am to be able to travel and to take this annual trip to Hawaii.  I appreciate it with all my heart.  But it's not perfect.  Nothing is.  Beware the highlight reel; there is real behind the camera.

At least that's the view from here...©

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE HIGHLIGHT REEL

I'm on vacation.  I promised myself I would lay off Facebook while I'm away this time, but I lied.  I can't do it.  I love Facebook.  I love keeping in touch with my friends and family, catching the news of the day, finding the silly and the sublime that is Facebook.  I've been posting photos of our trip, of course, although not quite as many as I usually do.  How can you miss me if I won't go away, right?

Son Two tells me Facebook is the "highlight reel" of everyone's life and I get what he means.  Rarely do folks post photos of themselves looking, acting, and feeling rotten.   I actually appreciate it when they do, since for me Facebook is a community and I love it best when it's interactive and honest.  But then, I keep my " FB Friends" list pretty well cleaned up to include people I care about and am willing to be honest with -- no old high school rivals, horrible ex-bosses, or former boyfriends I'm still trying to impress.

But I guess I'm guilty of the "highlight reel" thing too.  I don't usually post photos that make me look fat (it's the photo, it's not me!) and I pick pretty, fun things to display -- none of me sitting in construction zone traffic, getting pounded to the sand by a rogue wave, or lying in bed for several hours with a headache.  (Also part of Hawaiian adventures!)

I was thinking of this as we've traveled around the island on this trip.  I wondered if all the people I saw in less than total "Aloha Spirit" were also posting "highlight reel" coverage of their trip?

There was a young couple at the pool, she in a lounge chair reading and he walking toward her with a Mai Tai and a Pina Colada.  He reached out to offer her the Pina and she was having none of it.  In fact, she was pissed, a dark scowl on her face as she berated him and told him she DID NOT WANT that!  Hub and I observed this with some consternation and amusement -- telling ourselves the inside story that:  A) he was only being nice and she was a bitch; B) he'd been drinking all day and she was sick of it and trying to dissuade more of the same.    Whatever the story, she got up and stormed away while he chugged the Mai Tai and half the Pina.  Post that!

Then at the Kauai Coffee Company, crowded with coffee connoiseurs tasting every conceivable roast and blend, I saw a woman of about 70 literally stomp her foot and declare to her friend, loudly, "He just pushes my buttons and I CAN'T STAND IT!"  I noticed a man of about the same age turn and glare at her.  Another moment of wedded bliss, I thought.  Post that!

At the snorkeling beach yesterday I sat on a shady bench on the lawn watching Hub navigate the warm, blue sea observing the underwater life (I don't like to put my face in the water...but I'm working on it) when a man of about 50 joined me, but immediately sat on the far end with his back to me.  Not interested in casual conversation, I assumed; fine with me.  Soon a woman joined him and since he grabbed her butt, I figured he knew her pretty well.  They began to talk and before long he became quite animated.  It was weird, since they were right next to me, but maybe it was the wind, waves, and the fact that they were facing away from me, but I couldn't make out a word he was saying.  But boy was he mad!  He was on a rant about something that had to be expressed with great arm waving and swearing because literally the only words I could hear, since he placed his emphasis there, was f*#k, f*#king, f*#k!  And "never again!"  He was not mad at her...she was a sympathetic listener, but boy, something had riled him up!  Post that!

Yesterday, back at the pool, an attractive young couple sat facing each other on the edge of their chairs, she holding about a 10-month-old little boy on her lap.  They were engaged in what seemed to be an intense conversation.  As I walked by I saw him lean forward and interrupt her to say, "Look!  Let me spell this out for you!"  I wanted to smack him and feared for the role modeling he was providing for his son.  I hope she told him to shut the f*#k up, but I kept walking, so don't know how their drama ended.  Still, post that!

I guess my point is, "highlight reel" or not, real life comes along on vacation with us.   I'm just glad Hub and I are so compatible at this point in our marriage.  We've grown closer this trip rather than more irritated.  Rest assured, when we are smiling in those Facebook posts, we really mean it.  And for that, I'm truly grateful.

At least, that's the view from here...©

TECHNO-NERD Q&A

Dear Genius Bar Boys & Girls,
I just finished trying to "clean up" my mess of a MacBook Pro desktop, which was just as cluttered as my physical world oak desk in my home office.  I moved a bunch of folders and files into my "documents" only to find duplicates and various drafts of poems and essays and a ton of old, obsolete junk already in there to drag to the trash.  It took forever.  And I haven't even started on emails.  Question: Should I delete emails or just leave thousands of them just sitting there?  Are they taking up valuable space or are they a benign mass of electronic data?

I also haven't started cleaning things up on my iMac Desktop computer, upon which desktop and documents storage I will find yet more duplicates of those items on the laptop.  The Cloud is supposed to fix all of this, but my Cloud now has it's own set of duplicate crap at this point.  Plus, my annoyance about the Cloud is that if I am without WiFi, I can't access the document!  So I keep moving things out to the desktop or making duplicates and there you have it….  The genesis of an ongoing mess!  What gives???

Also, is OS X Mavericks as awful as the "just folks" reviews make it sound?  I'm a hold out.  Get it right.

Signed,
Not as easy and time-saving as promised.

P.S.  I just downloaded the iOS 7.1 to my iPhone and have to AGAIN adjust to a few new "upgrades" in user-interfacing.  Thank you for keeping my brain active.  Who needs Lumosity when we have you Apple Nerds devilishly thinking up ways to challenge us?

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Dear Little Blue Bird,
I just signed up for a Twitter account.  I love to say the word "Tweet" and I think you are cute.  I just have no idea what to do with you.  I heeded some of your suggestions for who to "follow", but now I am inundated with 'tweets' that seem to come every 20 seconds about not much at all, and even if I cared, my life would become nothing more than reading these 140 character messages and clicking on #relatedstories that would keep me from living any semblance of a life in the real world.  I have discovered a few friends are on Twitter and we have vowed to "follow" each other, but most of our Tweets consist of exchanging puzzled queries as to why we are doing this and what is the point?    Please enlighten.

Signed,
#youjustpoopedonmyshoulderthanksalot

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Dear Comcast,
Son-One is thrilled with his new job with your little start-up company (thanks for hiring him!) and is all aglow about your new X1 interactive TV platform.  To hear him describe it, one will never need to leave their home for any reason whatsoever, ever again.  Well, unless one wants to step away from a TV screen.  But if that's your thing, Comcast X1 is your God.  I actually love TV and I am ready to ditch DISH, which took me about a year to learn to use and I still don't quite get it, over 3 years later.  (Not user friendly, DISH!)  But X-1 is supposed to be dummy proof, so I'm your gal.  Plus, I will be able to search with ease and record up to 5 programs while watching a 6th!  Perfection!  However exciting this sounds at first blush, I do expect it to be rather more confusing than anticipated.  Things like this always are.  (Like love affairs, or new babies, I suppose.)   Still, since you are now an almost official monopoly, I feel I should just submit and learn your ways.  Right?

Signed,
Looking forward to your introductory offer, then doing a re-fi on my home once hooked.

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Dear Mark Zuckerberg,
Maybe it was the movie, and my affection for that cutie-nerd Jesse Eisnenberg who played you, but I want to believe you are good guy.  I know you are regularly accused of all manner of evil, but I do love your Facebook invention.  Yes, all of us seniors are now taking over and it's no longer cool at all to be on it, but wow, quite the cultural revolution, huh?  One question:  WHY do you keep changing the look of my news feed?   Now it seems all the posts sort of run together and my eyesight is not so far gone that the photos have to be that big.  Just sayin'.  Other than that, keep up the good work.

Signed,
Loves Kittens

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I went to a lecture yesterday on "How Technology Changed Our Culture".  The average age was about 70.  (It was a class for "over 50's").  The instructor's first slide was of a test pattern.  Everyone chuckled in recognition.  We know a frozen screen when we see one.

At least, that's the view from here…. ©

RATINGS AND RANTINGS

I'm not a big fan of Katie Couric, except the time she took Sarah Palin to task (although I wanted her to push much, much harder).  
So, today when I read her mea culpa about airing a diatribe about the dangers of the HPV vaccine on a recent episode of her TV program, I felt both pleased (thanks for the apology) and disgusted (what were you thinking in the first place?!)

Her show, an afternoon talk-fest much like all the rest, is on at "prime time" for daytime TV watchers.  Sexist as it sounds, that audience is mostly women.  I think there are more guys home during the day than there used to be, but my guess is they are not tuned in to Katie.

Katie said she regrets not presenting a more balanced view and admitted that her own daughters have received the vaccine.  But in my mind the damage was done.  All the afternoon viewers already watched a grieving mother blame the vaccine for her daughter's death; another blame it for her daughter's ongoing, intractable health challenges.  How many took these emotional stories, designed to scare, to heart?  Where was the science?  Where were the stories of lives saved?

What was up, surely, is it must have been ratings month.  I noticed a strong uptick, as always, in advertising for local news broadcast "Undercover Stories" as the month of November unfolded.  I don't really follow the TV industry and their seasonal push for ratings too much, but I know there are still monitors and measures by which advertisers decide which shows to throw money behind.  And traditionally November is a "ratings" month.

So all the salacious stories are trotted out:  child prostitution, identify theft, secret lives of Happy Hooker wives; bullying unto death,  airbag asphyxiation, cell phones causing brain cancer…all of it.  Apparently the very worst of humanity's foibles, and all of our worst fears, are fodder for ratings.

The thing is, even when I turn off the tube, I'm still bombarded by fear and destruction.  Facebook, a place where I find much that is fun and good, a place where I stay in touch and exchange good wishes and condolences and clever repartee with my friends,  is also a forum for some for near constant barrages of "doom and gloom".  I'm very, very tired of finding posts of warning about all sundry of personal, political, and global maladies.  I KNOW IT!  I KNOW EVERYTHING SUCKS!  Like most people I am doing what I can, when I can, how I can, to make my little bitty corner of this big awful world better.  That's my response, offered with some defensiveness, I know.  But damn it, if I wanted to feel guilty all the time I'd go back to being a Lutheran.  (Sorry to all the nice Christians I know.  But really, there is that thing about us all being sinners that's a little hard to feel good about.)

But I guess I am guilty too of posting on my own pet issues.  My "thing" is gun control and I occasionally post about that.  My "thing" is being a liberal Democrat outraged at times by the craziness that is the Tea Party.  But do I really think I am changing any minds with my posts?  No, I'm just preaching to the choir, and folks, so are you.  This choir member would like to take a time out.

Yes, I'm feeling grumpy today and it's not fun, really, in this season of merry and bright.  I just wanna know, can we please take a break from scaring, berating, and shaming?  Can we just stop hating the Right or the Left or The Man or whoever is the 'bad guy' du jour?  I would like that.

At least, that's the view from here….

RIPPLE EFFECT

I get a lot of inspirational posts on my Facebook newsfeed.  Sometimes they make me grumpy.

There is a fine line, I think, between inspired and discouraged.  And I don't need much encouragement to feel discouraged, because the other frequent posts are dire warnings about the earth, our country, city, and neighborhood going to hell in a handbasket.  Our politicians are corrupt, our environment on a warming path to ruin, our food is mostly poison, our neighborhoods riddled with crime, and everybody seems to despair.

So, one would think that the inspirational stuff would uplift.  Yet, often I feel it rings a false note of an oversimplified "Pollyanna" approach to problem solving; or a lament of "everybody does it better than we (the U.S.) do", then trying to encourage an unrealistic sea change in public/private behavior to do better ourselves; or encouragement to just love ourselves into a Nirvana of heaven on earth.  Or look at these cute kittens -- always with the kittens.

I do my fair share of forwarding what I think are important, interesting, funny, or inspiring tidbits too.   I want to inform, educate, and entertain.  But when I do that, what I'm really doing is showing you what's important to me without telling you why.  My son's employer doesn't provide health insurance and he can't afford it on his own; my brother lost his job and medical coverage one month before he was diagnosed with cancer.  I might send you a link to Obamacare, not only because I support it as an important public policy, but because it will help those I love.  Maybe I could just say that.  "I'm posting this because...."

I think the posts I find truly inspirational are not those that are forwarded over and over, but those that are little glimpses into lives being lived to the best of a person's ability, with honesty, integrity, optimism, and humor.  One day at a time.  One person at a time.   I like hearing about how Jim grew his own beans, Sue cares for her elder mother, Jim hosted a fundraiser,  Sue baked an apple pie for a new neighbor, Jim faces cancer with determination, Sue sang a solo at her son's wedding, Jim helped his neighbor build a garage, Sue was at the birth of her granddaughter, Jim missed his putt and made everyone laugh... You get the idea; real stuff.  The stuff of life.

I like knowing that each in my FB family of friends is out there living full-on, making a small and important difference in their worlds, just by trying, by being fully human, by challenging themselves to grow into a more compassionate, abundant Self.  There is a ripple effect.  Show us the pebble you are dropping into the great sea of humanity.  We'll all be inspired.

At least, that's the view from here...©.

MONEY CAN'T BUY ME GOV

It's over.  Most of the people I know are happy, relieved, and hopeful again.  No one is gloating.  For all of the vitriol that was flung this way and that, it seems no one really wants to live that way.  There are scores of Facebook posts, blog entries, op-ed pieces all calling for unity and an end to lies, distortions, and blame.  Can't we all get along?  I guess time will tell.

As for me, I think the president was re-elected due to my silent 3-day Obamathon on Facebook.  I had every intention of backing off political posts when it got to the point that people were begging for it to stop in general.  But no one could really stop.  I thought, "I can!"   Yet I couldn't either.  But I also saw no reason to continue to post the obvious with charts, graphs, outrageous quotes, reasonable lines of thinking....it had all been said ad nauseum.  So I took to posting different photos of President Obama every few hours for 3 days pre-election day, with the status update, "Obamathon".  Many of my FB friends thought it was great and I got lots of "Likes".  Son-Two, however, threatened to "un-friend" me (he is the "not political" one in our family).  It was fun to just silently and visually state my support for President Obama, over and over, like a FB mantra.

Election night was sort of stunning.  Many are stating it more eloquently than I, but basically....Holy Shit!  Romney got 61% of the white vote.  He lost.  Our politicians can no longer play the "race card" and expect to win.  (Take that! you who made attempts at voter suppression in swing states with large non-white populations, and those who want Hispanics to "self-deport").   Women surged in the Senate -- including an openly lesbian woman (Take that! all of you with the stupid talk about what is and isn't rape, and what is and isn't equal pay, and what is and isn't a woman's right to choose, and what is and isn't "natural").  Bazillions of dollars and distortions and outright lies were hurled back in the faces of those who were cynical enough to believe that a majority of Americans would allow buying and lying to win an American presidential election.

In 2008 I was elated beyond any sort of reasonableness that Barack Obama won the presidency.  I remember sobbing almost uncontrollably when it was announced, so happy was I to have witnessed it. In 2012, I was more quietly happy, shedding some tears, but mostly relieved, rapidly commenting on FB and answering texts with friends across the nation as we had watched "together" via our now ubiquitous internet connections.  It is only now, a couple of days later, that I feel a swell of pride.  I feel that sense of patriotism that always brings a lump to my throat when I realize, again, that good people will do the right thing and that our system, no matter how battered and broken, will prevail.

I know that millions of people who voted for Romney and embrace that world view are feeling bereft.  But even so, their fight will continue to be a war of words, protected under our constitution; there is no threat of military insurrection in our democracy.  We will continue to disagree and that is a good thing, if done with civility.  Because we are sick to death of name-calling, conspiracy theories, and lies.  My hope, my prayer, my mantra is that this election has shown that "we the people" want to move forward with leadership that is steady, focused, compassionate, and inclusive.

At least, that's the view from here....©

"We believe in a generous America, in a compassionate America, in a tolerant America.. . . What makes America exceptional are the bonds that hold together the most diverse nation on Earth, the belief that our destiny is shared -- that this country only works when we accept certain obligations to one another and to future generations.”  -- Barack Obama 11/6/12

"FRIEND" ME SOMETIME!

I'm on shaky ground here, because I'm no expert.  I just think it's sort of self-defeating, and silly, to simply refuse to understand and use 21st century technology.

Last week, when volunteering at the agency where I used to work, I was charged with downloading some confidential information onto a "thumb drive" to be hand-delivered the next day to the person at the agency headquarters responsible for collecting this information.  My counterpart in one of the other offices simply typed the information and delivered it as a "hard copy" because she was not familiar with a thumb drive or how to get information onto it, making to necessary, then, for someone else to get the information into a useable electronic format.  Something so easy to learn became, for her, a barrier to following workplace procedure.

I also know folks who refuse to use Facebook (and lots of other social media sites) because they don't know how to sign up, post status updates, upload photos, and/or are afraid of privacy issues.  Same is true for using "smart" phones,  texting, MP3 players, tablets, e-readers, GPS devices, DVRs, Skype capabilities.....the very stuff of modern connection and communication.

I held out on Facebook until my niece convinced me to try it.  It felt weird and foreign at first.  Now I am a daily poster and look forward to "seeing" my friends there too.  I have found, and been found, by people from other places and other lifetimes ago and it's been a wonderful and ongoing re-connection. I have my privacy controls tamped down as best I can, and otherwise don't worry too much about it.  (When I was a kid, we still had a phone system with party lines --- nosy neighbors could listen in then too, mining information about our family and reporting it hither and yon if we weren't careful.  So I try to be careful, but not paranoid).

Some lament that these electronic relationships are not "real" and leave us unable or unwilling to have face-to-face relationships.  I disagree.  I have found many places of connection with people on Facebook whom I do not see often or know well in real life, but for whom I have developed a fondness and caring through our virtual sharing together.  I am genuinely happy to see these folks at the grocery store or farmer's market and immediately have something to say to them about what is real in their lives -- something that I wouldn't have known otherwise -- instant deepening of connection.  And if my 24- year-old son is any example, his electronic relationships have in no way hampered his ability to have legions of friends and a full social calendar in the real world.

I notice that there is a definite generation gap in this refusal to understand and use technology.  Youngers have no such hesitation, qualms, or feelings of incompetence.  If they don't utilize some form of technology available to them it's based on some other reasoning, but not on an "I don't know how and I refuse to learn" attitude.

And it's this attitude with which I take exception.  Why elders would choose to opt out is a mystery to me and one that may result in further feelings of isolation as technology becomes even more prevalent.  We may not understand it and may find it frustrating and may wish back the "good old days", but how does that serve us?  It's simply a learning-curve issue.  Yes, it's confusing at first, and then it's easy.  Just like anything else we've learned along the way.

I'm limping along with an old Blackberry until the I-Phone 5 comes out.  I will find it initially frustrating to learn to use.  I will stick with it.  I will end up loving it.  My e-reader/tablet has allowed me to take a virtual suitcase full of reading material on trips.  I type my journal and other writing onto a thumb drive that I can plug into any device handy to keep on working.  My favorite music is in my purse and I can easily connect it to my car stereo to listen to a self-made customized playlist, my TV shows are recorded for me to watch at my convenience, happily zapping through commercials.  My laptop and my email are as much a part of my life as any other appliance or form of communication.

I am among the legions of fans of the British TV series, Downton Abbey.  It takes place in the early 20th Century, just before and after WWI.  The societal changes depicted there seem quaint and amusing to us now -- telephones, automobiles, gramophones -- but to the people of that time they were often judged and dismissed as confusing, unsafe, unreliable, and completely unnecessary.

Just goes to show you, ignoring the sea-change of culture's ongoing march into ever more advanced and ubiquitous technology may leave us as "old-fashioned" as a corseted countess.

At least, that's the view from here....©

REVEAL OR CONCEAL?

So....it's been over a month since I posted my first entry in this blog.  Truth is, I sort of chickened out.   I checked around with some of the Sues and Jims and most were enthusiastic about me doing this and some were cautious, with concerns about issues of confidentiality in this time of identity thefts, copyright infringements, crazy stalkers...I don't know.  I've decided to go ahead, embracing the encouragement and considering the cautions.

I think it might be generational.  My younger Facebook friends don't seem to have these qualms.  They post where they are every minute of the day, who they are with, who their family members are, where they work or go to school, their ever-changing relationship status, poems and songs they have written,  videos and photos of themselves in various states of drunkenness....either they are extremely naive or my age-mates are very paranoid.

I have conflicting tendencies.  On one hand I have always said I live my life out loud.  I tend to reveal a lot about myself.  I want to connect with others and I see no way of doing this in a meaningful way without being revealing of my own joys and challenges, foibles, and follies.  On the other hand, my inherent introversion and "the bad guys'll get ya!" fears keep me struggling to find a balance between revealing and concealing.  So, I suppose I'll be doing that dance here too.  (Hence, the whole name thing).

So, about Facebook.  I joined in 2009, reluctantly, but curious.  It was at the urging of my niece in Arizona as a fun way to keep in touch.  I am now officially sort of addicted.  (Love that "sort of" qualifier!  Can one be "sort of" an addict?  I think, really, you are or you aren't... I are).  I sign in many, many times throughout the day to see who's posted, who's commented, who's doing what...I have fallen prey to classical operant conditioning...the intermittent reward of a possible update keeps me coming back for more!  I'm one of those chickens pecking at the lever to release a food pellet down the 'ol gullet!  I've lately tried to decide if this addiction is dangerous, and in true addict-think I've decided it's not.  It's enjoyable, not hurting anyone, I still live a full and productive life in the real world, and I can (sort of) tolerate not having internet access on occasion (hmmm...sort of?).   I've re-connected with some old friends, become closer to acquaintances, and found the answer to the introvert's dilemma of wanting/needing social contact without having to carry on long awkward conversations in public places, then coming away exhausted.  What could possibly go wrong????

At least that's the view from here....©