WORDS THAT ACTUALLY CAME FROM MY MOUTH

Today I went to lunch on the waterfront with two good friends....my Shiny Sisters....one of whom has an upcoming birthday that necessitated another occasion of food, friendship, and laughter.  I don't recall why the three of us started calling ourselves the Shiny Sisters.  I think it had to do with the other two reminiscing about a shopping expedition where they realized they were drawn to shiny objects -- rather like a murder of crows.  Now I think we just like to think of ourselves as, well, shiny and bright and fun.  We've become the shiny objects.

Anyway, the Shiny Sisters were bidding each other goodbye in the parking lot after lunch when I reminded them I will be gone for a few days with no internet or cell reception.  I exclaimed, "I won't be able to email you.  Or text you.  Or get on Facebook.  It will be as if I don't even EXIST!"  One of the Sisters got a shocked look on her face, just before she doubled over in laughter.  I slapped my hand over my mouth, "Did I just say that???  Out loud???"  Yes, the consensus was that I had indeed equated my very existence to my online presence.

I have nothing more to say about this at the moment, as I blog....online.  You may want to discuss amongst yourselves.  I imagine it will go something like this:

1.  "Donna really is addicted; she's lost her entire sense of self to the monkey on her back."
2.   No one really exists in the real world anymore.  We've all become cyber-drones.  Power up!
3.   Existence is merely a construct of the human mind; there is no existence.

I'm logging off for now; powering down; going to sleep.  Will restart in a few days, unless I lose my power cord.

At least, that's the view from here...©

AN APPLE A DAY

Technology.  Love it or hate it?  I mostly love it.  Although I do want it to operate like my refrigerator.... like an appliance that I take for granted and works fine without much input from me.  Cold?  Good.  Not?  Call someone to fix it.

But I find my "tech devices" want a lot more from me than just opening the door and grabbing an apple.

Speaking of Apple.... I am a devotee.   I bought the very first publicly available Apple 128 in 1984.  As a student at the University of Washington (the year I finally graduated from college at age 33 -- topic for another blog post),  I got a special student discount, but it was still amazingly expensive given that I figured I was buying a fancy typewriter.  But I was psyched.  I loved that computer.  LOVED IT!  I was involve in some local political action issues then and it was in constant use producing issue statements, press releases, meeting agendas, flyers, and meeting minutes.

At some point, though, as a computer became an everyday part of our lives, we decided we needed more "memory" and got another, more powerful Apple.   When it was time to replace that one,  we went to the dark side and started buying PCs mostly because they were more affordable.  But the constant crashes and fatal error messages and need for firewalls and virus protection software was such a pain in the behind!  Plus, even though they are the local darlings and I wanted to be loyal (I AM proud to live in Gates-land), certain glitches with Microsoft software started to be more hassle than help.

Ten years ago, back to Apple we went and have never looked back.  A year ago we bought a new desktop, a laptop (my constant companion), an iPad and two iPhones.  But here's my beef with all of it:  I can't just "open the door and help myself".  It seems I require constant training and with each upgrade I have something new I have to learn (and undo the previous learning.)

So, a year ago when we upgraded everything, we signed up for the One-On-One training we knew we'd need with all our new tech gear.  Then one thing and another prevented us from actually using the lessons and somewhere in the year we were allotted to use them, Apple discontinued the whole One-On-One program!  When we finally wanted to troubleshoot some frustrating issues we were having we had to do a "walk in" appointment with the Apple Genius corps.

Have you been to an Apple store?  Our local outlet is relatively small, but still sleek and modern and full of display models to play with  along with the hordes of people who seem to want to do just that no matter the day of the week or time of day.  It's always jamming crowded and LOUD.  Can't they do something with the acoustics in those stores?  Because here's the thing I notice.  The stores are not generally full of millennials who seem to have some cyber-brain-power that allows them to intuitively just know how to make these devices work.  No.  The stores are full of people with gray hair and bewildered expressions on their faces.  They are gathered round big square tables in the middle of the room trying to hear and follow instructions at a "group lesson" on some tech topic while music plays, people jostle to try out a Macbook Air, lines form to ask a question at the Genius Bar....it's a madhouse.

But we braved it on Tuesday afternoon and got the help we needed on how to set up our iCloud accounts (again!), this time not co-mingling them so that all of Hub's calendar information ended up on my computer and all of my internet searches ended up in his search history (thankfully I have never searched for old boyfriends or porn!)  We also wanted to learn to use the password protection Keychain thing that will keep our account passwords encrypted and not easily guessed by the bad guys.  We listened as an Apple guy (about our age!!!  Shocking!!!) walked us through it all, a little condescendingly, which just galls Hub, since he is sort of an Alpha Male and not used to this treatment which just felt familiar to me as a woman, but I digress...  We left happy and ready to leave our frustrations behind and finally get these things to work as we wanted them to.  Then we got home.

Error messages shot up on my screen every time I tried to open a website or use my email.  Hub couldn't access iTunes to update his apps because an old Apple ID kept insisting he put in a password that no one can recall because it was discontinued eons ago, but somehow Apple insisted it was current.  We spent all evening trying to troubleshoot our way out of the messes that were worse than before we went into the store.  We gave up.

The next afternoon we drove back to the even more crowded and chaotic Apple store and waited again for a Genius to help us.  I was hoping for a different Apple brain and we got one --much younger and geekier than the guy we'd had the previous day and I don't want to sound ageist or anything, but I was glad.  This kid actually had helped us on a previous visit and was smart, quick at diagnostics, saw immediately what had gone awry with Hub's issues, and walked me through a Keychain tutorial that was so easy to understand this time that even I could do it and my Macbook calmed down and went along with the program.

We figure with travel time, including two return trips in rush hour traffic and waiting for a Genius to help us, then finding we weren't really helped, then trying to troubleshoot on our own, then doing it all again the next day, we spent about 10 hours this week just getting our computers to do what they were supposed to do a year ago when they were first set up for us incorrectly.  We had lived with it far too long, I know, but I've come to believe computers are just not that easy and we can't expect  things to go smoothly.  Such defeatist thinking!

I think that attitude is born of being intimidated by a technology I don't understand, that is constantly changing, that I will NEVER understand, and with which I will NEVER keep up and seriously is just too damn complicated anyway.  I could add our "Smart" TVs, satellite dishes, WiFi routers, external DVD drives, Kindles, my car's stereo and navigation system, my new range/oven's computerized controls, etc. etc. etc. to the list of things I regularly use but realize I just barely understand how they work.  If something  goes awry (seemingly often), I am stuck; I do not know how to navigate the troubleshooting guides because they contain language and concepts about which I haven't a clue.  So I limp along only utilizing a fraction of the features I might have access to and all these devices seem like lazy slackers mocking my inability to get them to get off their lazy asses and get some real work done.

Here's my resolution.  I will swallow my pride and admit defeat.  I have been a rare user of "tech support", having found it to be amazingly intimidating in the past.  But the Apple Geniuses have convinced me that these issues for which we spent hours this week driving around with all our Apple gear in the trunk and enduing the chaos of the store could have been handled online or by phone where someone, somewhere could actually see our computer screen (this is maybe a little scary) and walk us through everything, even showing us where to point and click to move things along.  Tech support is going to be my new best friend!  And, I will NOT allow some kid in a cubicle to make me feel dumb when I ask how to sync iTunes on my iPhone.  I screw that up every single time!

My reading about brain plasticity tells me new brain cells are being formed all the time when we learn new skills.  Oh my!  I will be so incredibly smart very, very soon!

At least, that's the view from here....©

A LITTLE BIT OF FITBIT

Well, it's all the rage, huh?  Do you have one?   The wrist computer gadget that gives a continuous readout of time of day, number of steps walked, stairs climbed, current heart rate, miles walked, and calories burned?

If you also access Fitbit.com and the mobile app all of this info is automatically downloaded and calculated, along with the option of entering items consumed in a really terrific food log and voila!  You know all about your calorie consumption, calories burned, etc etc.  You can set a weight loss goal if that's your thing and even decide how long you want to work toward it -- fast, medium, or slow.   Check it all day long on your computer or smart phone!

There is even an option for connecting with Fitbit friends to share info on your progress and urge each other along.  AND if you wear it overnight it will tell you how long you slept, how often you woke up, and how many times you were restless.  I know...a bit scary, huh?

I don't do the sleep part because I like to sleep without anything strapped to me or hanging on me -- no jewelry and certainly no computer!

But during the day, my purple Fitbit is my new best friend.  It's oddly motivating to get that immediate feedback.  Fitbit emails me "badges" if I accomplish some pre-determined feat of excellence.  I pay little attention to them, but it is sort of fun to get an "atta girl" for my efforts.


Fitbit has decided that 10,000 steps is the daily goal.  I don't always make it, but I find myself not worrying about having to make extra trips up and down stairs or out to the garden or down the driveway to pick up the newspaper, because I know I'm getting more "steps and stairs" in.

The first time I got to 10,000 steps I was sort of freaked out.  I had no idea my Fitbit would throw a little party on my wrist for this accomplishment.  I was being neighborly and had walked across the street to gather up a few days' newspapers still on the sidewalk leading up to front door.  They were on vacation.   I got almost to their property line when my Fitbit began to vibrate like crazy for a few seconds.  I stopped dead in my tracks!

I thought I'd triggered an "Invisible Fence" system used to keep dogs in the yard.  We used to have one.  It would cause the dog collar to vibrate in warning that if our pup went another 4 feet, he'd get an unpleasant "correction" (mild shock -- I tried it on my hand to test it out -- unpleasant, not excrutiating).   Anyway, I thought, "Yikes!  I cannot go onto their sidewalk...I'm gonna get zapped!"

Then I glanced at my Fitbit and noted I had just made it to an even 10,000 steps.  Oh!  It's congratulating me!  Sure enough, now I know when I get the vibration, I won't get zapped -- it's a good thing, not a punishment!

There are quirks to it, though.  Another time I knew for a fact that I had not walked enough to get to 10,000 steps yet, that night in the middle of a musical performance I was attending, I got the vibration.  I realized most of my "steps" had been my wrist moving as I clapped along with the music!  Another time I was scooting around on my bottom pulling weeds in the garden for a few hours apparently in just the right sort of motion to be registering 10,000 steps.  So, now when I know I'll get a false reading, I just take it off.  But sometimes that stops the accumulation of data and when I put it back on it starts over from zero.  I like to keep my documentation accurate, so this annoys me.  I also suspect that pushing a stroller or carrying my granddaughter around is causing my arm to be stationary while my feet are moving, which then doesn't register as steps.  Friends have told me to put it on my ankle or tie it to my shoe.  Haven't tried that yet.

But in spite of a few little annoyances like those, I still love it.  And I'm absolutely amazed that something like this exists.  I LOVE being alive and moderately able to interact with basic technological advances.  I get frustrated when I don't understand the finer points nor am I nearly as intuitively tuned in as my grown sons and even my six year old granddaughter around tech stuff, but I am so grateful for the access to, and the fun of, some of these gadgets.

Just checking -- I'm at 8 flights of stairs today -- I can easily make 20 by bedtime.  But my step count is way low -- too much reading and computer time!  Better get a move on!

At least, that's the view from here...©

TECHNO-NERD Q&A

Dear Genius Bar Boys & Girls,
I just finished trying to "clean up" my mess of a MacBook Pro desktop, which was just as cluttered as my physical world oak desk in my home office.  I moved a bunch of folders and files into my "documents" only to find duplicates and various drafts of poems and essays and a ton of old, obsolete junk already in there to drag to the trash.  It took forever.  And I haven't even started on emails.  Question: Should I delete emails or just leave thousands of them just sitting there?  Are they taking up valuable space or are they a benign mass of electronic data?

I also haven't started cleaning things up on my iMac Desktop computer, upon which desktop and documents storage I will find yet more duplicates of those items on the laptop.  The Cloud is supposed to fix all of this, but my Cloud now has it's own set of duplicate crap at this point.  Plus, my annoyance about the Cloud is that if I am without WiFi, I can't access the document!  So I keep moving things out to the desktop or making duplicates and there you have it….  The genesis of an ongoing mess!  What gives???

Also, is OS X Mavericks as awful as the "just folks" reviews make it sound?  I'm a hold out.  Get it right.

Signed,
Not as easy and time-saving as promised.

P.S.  I just downloaded the iOS 7.1 to my iPhone and have to AGAIN adjust to a few new "upgrades" in user-interfacing.  Thank you for keeping my brain active.  Who needs Lumosity when we have you Apple Nerds devilishly thinking up ways to challenge us?

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Dear Little Blue Bird,
I just signed up for a Twitter account.  I love to say the word "Tweet" and I think you are cute.  I just have no idea what to do with you.  I heeded some of your suggestions for who to "follow", but now I am inundated with 'tweets' that seem to come every 20 seconds about not much at all, and even if I cared, my life would become nothing more than reading these 140 character messages and clicking on #relatedstories that would keep me from living any semblance of a life in the real world.  I have discovered a few friends are on Twitter and we have vowed to "follow" each other, but most of our Tweets consist of exchanging puzzled queries as to why we are doing this and what is the point?    Please enlighten.

Signed,
#youjustpoopedonmyshoulderthanksalot

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Dear Comcast,
Son-One is thrilled with his new job with your little start-up company (thanks for hiring him!) and is all aglow about your new X1 interactive TV platform.  To hear him describe it, one will never need to leave their home for any reason whatsoever, ever again.  Well, unless one wants to step away from a TV screen.  But if that's your thing, Comcast X1 is your God.  I actually love TV and I am ready to ditch DISH, which took me about a year to learn to use and I still don't quite get it, over 3 years later.  (Not user friendly, DISH!)  But X-1 is supposed to be dummy proof, so I'm your gal.  Plus, I will be able to search with ease and record up to 5 programs while watching a 6th!  Perfection!  However exciting this sounds at first blush, I do expect it to be rather more confusing than anticipated.  Things like this always are.  (Like love affairs, or new babies, I suppose.)   Still, since you are now an almost official monopoly, I feel I should just submit and learn your ways.  Right?

Signed,
Looking forward to your introductory offer, then doing a re-fi on my home once hooked.

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Dear Mark Zuckerberg,
Maybe it was the movie, and my affection for that cutie-nerd Jesse Eisnenberg who played you, but I want to believe you are good guy.  I know you are regularly accused of all manner of evil, but I do love your Facebook invention.  Yes, all of us seniors are now taking over and it's no longer cool at all to be on it, but wow, quite the cultural revolution, huh?  One question:  WHY do you keep changing the look of my news feed?   Now it seems all the posts sort of run together and my eyesight is not so far gone that the photos have to be that big.  Just sayin'.  Other than that, keep up the good work.

Signed,
Loves Kittens

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I went to a lecture yesterday on "How Technology Changed Our Culture".  The average age was about 70.  (It was a class for "over 50's").  The instructor's first slide was of a test pattern.  Everyone chuckled in recognition.  We know a frozen screen when we see one.

At least, that's the view from here…. ©

DEAR DIARY

I'm usually a little smug about my technological successes.  I'm an Apple devotee and say what you will, those machines work well.  I rarely have an issue with my desktop, my laptop, my I-Pad or I-Phone.  No freezing.  Rare spamming.  No viruses or crashes or worms or any of those other bad things.

I take no credit for this.  I have no idea of the inner workings of Apple products that seem to ward off such disasters.  I just notice these things don't happen to me (much) and I credit the Apple geniuses, since previous computer brands I owned were always creating havoc for me.

But left to my own ignorant devices, I can screw up big-time.  I recently had a thumb drive go "bad" on me -- as in I plugged it into my laptop one day and it was fine, the next day it was dead.  No computer in my home even recognizes it, let alone opens it.  I've lost about 2 years of personal journal entries, a few poems, some other this's and that's -- I don't really recall everything that is on there.   Since that debacle I've been told  that thumb drives are notoriously prone to failure and to NEVER consider them a safe back-up.  Well, I didn't even use it as a back-up.  I used it as a primary storage unit for certain items.  Oh dear.

I'm pretty heartsick, mostly about the journal entries.  I read something once by another journal writer who said, "If I don't record my life by writing it out, it's as if it didn't happen."  I agree.  My journals are full of facts, reflections, brilliant breakthroughs, rants, cathartic moaning, groaning and screaming, sadness, joy, vacation notes, and dither.  I go back and re-read entries to remind myself of events, times, transitions, and thoughts I had then to see if I've made any progress on my personal growth quest or my "to do" lists, or just to steal particularly well written ideas and sentences for other writing I'm doing.

This has been a humbling experience and one that has caused me some grief and regret.  I really miss those two year's worth of entries.  Some important things happened and I want to remember exactly what my state of mind and emotion was then.  My memory is as notoriously unreliable as a thumb drive.

On the other hand, this is perhaps good practice in letting go.   What choice do I have?  Those years are in the past; I'm still here.  I grew and changed, things happened and I responded to them in ways brilliant and ridiculous.   I often say that should anyone read my journals at some future time, they might conclude I was the most depressed, angry, resentful, screwed up woman alive.  I have used journal writing to work through some very negative and dark emotional states.  But there is pride, contentment and unbridled joy there too.

Maybe I'll go back to journaling regularly and maybe I won't; either way, my life will continue to play out on the stage of everyday existence, and maybe that is enough.

At least, that's the view from here....©

"FRIEND" ME SOMETIME!

I'm on shaky ground here, because I'm no expert.  I just think it's sort of self-defeating, and silly, to simply refuse to understand and use 21st century technology.

Last week, when volunteering at the agency where I used to work, I was charged with downloading some confidential information onto a "thumb drive" to be hand-delivered the next day to the person at the agency headquarters responsible for collecting this information.  My counterpart in one of the other offices simply typed the information and delivered it as a "hard copy" because she was not familiar with a thumb drive or how to get information onto it, making to necessary, then, for someone else to get the information into a useable electronic format.  Something so easy to learn became, for her, a barrier to following workplace procedure.

I also know folks who refuse to use Facebook (and lots of other social media sites) because they don't know how to sign up, post status updates, upload photos, and/or are afraid of privacy issues.  Same is true for using "smart" phones,  texting, MP3 players, tablets, e-readers, GPS devices, DVRs, Skype capabilities.....the very stuff of modern connection and communication.

I held out on Facebook until my niece convinced me to try it.  It felt weird and foreign at first.  Now I am a daily poster and look forward to "seeing" my friends there too.  I have found, and been found, by people from other places and other lifetimes ago and it's been a wonderful and ongoing re-connection. I have my privacy controls tamped down as best I can, and otherwise don't worry too much about it.  (When I was a kid, we still had a phone system with party lines --- nosy neighbors could listen in then too, mining information about our family and reporting it hither and yon if we weren't careful.  So I try to be careful, but not paranoid).

Some lament that these electronic relationships are not "real" and leave us unable or unwilling to have face-to-face relationships.  I disagree.  I have found many places of connection with people on Facebook whom I do not see often or know well in real life, but for whom I have developed a fondness and caring through our virtual sharing together.  I am genuinely happy to see these folks at the grocery store or farmer's market and immediately have something to say to them about what is real in their lives -- something that I wouldn't have known otherwise -- instant deepening of connection.  And if my 24- year-old son is any example, his electronic relationships have in no way hampered his ability to have legions of friends and a full social calendar in the real world.

I notice that there is a definite generation gap in this refusal to understand and use technology.  Youngers have no such hesitation, qualms, or feelings of incompetence.  If they don't utilize some form of technology available to them it's based on some other reasoning, but not on an "I don't know how and I refuse to learn" attitude.

And it's this attitude with which I take exception.  Why elders would choose to opt out is a mystery to me and one that may result in further feelings of isolation as technology becomes even more prevalent.  We may not understand it and may find it frustrating and may wish back the "good old days", but how does that serve us?  It's simply a learning-curve issue.  Yes, it's confusing at first, and then it's easy.  Just like anything else we've learned along the way.

I'm limping along with an old Blackberry until the I-Phone 5 comes out.  I will find it initially frustrating to learn to use.  I will stick with it.  I will end up loving it.  My e-reader/tablet has allowed me to take a virtual suitcase full of reading material on trips.  I type my journal and other writing onto a thumb drive that I can plug into any device handy to keep on working.  My favorite music is in my purse and I can easily connect it to my car stereo to listen to a self-made customized playlist, my TV shows are recorded for me to watch at my convenience, happily zapping through commercials.  My laptop and my email are as much a part of my life as any other appliance or form of communication.

I am among the legions of fans of the British TV series, Downton Abbey.  It takes place in the early 20th Century, just before and after WWI.  The societal changes depicted there seem quaint and amusing to us now -- telephones, automobiles, gramophones -- but to the people of that time they were often judged and dismissed as confusing, unsafe, unreliable, and completely unnecessary.

Just goes to show you, ignoring the sea-change of culture's ongoing march into ever more advanced and ubiquitous technology may leave us as "old-fashioned" as a corseted countess.

At least, that's the view from here....©