QUIET MIND, GOOD FEELING, NO FISH

If you read my last post on June 1 https://myviewfromhere-donna.blogspot.com/2023/06/giving-up-on-hope.html, you know I had an epiphany and it led to acting upon my life in a new, less emotionally stressed and frantic way.  I'm here to report that it's still working!  Mostly. 

I have, however, felt a bit of a crisis of confidence lately about two things:  1.) my yoga teaching, now done mostly through a private Facebook group with hopefully inspiring posts and weekly or so Facebook Live videos, with little/no poses; mostly yoga/life philosophy, and,  2.) this blog.

It's often hard for me to believe anyone really cares what I have to say, which may be the most important insight I've had lately. LOL   So, I've been quiet.  No FB Live videos and no blog posts for over a month.  And yet, I feel an internal urge to say stuff out loud anyway hoping, but never knowing, if it might positively impact someone. And now I'm back sharing again.  So, I invite you to take what resonates and leave the rest.

The Three Principles teachings I've been studying (see previous post) talk about having a "quiet mind" and a "good feeling".  Hub and I are on a similar path lately and we've committed to meditating together for 30 minutes every morning.  Some days my mind is so, so quiet.  Other days it is not.  Both are fine -- the human condition is that we think.  It's what we do.  But when we can see that some thinking is often not serving our best interest (ruminating, future-ing, regretting, etc) we can breathe and come back to being in the here and now by focusing on the senses and getting quiet, or closer to it.  And when I am in that quieter state, I feel more at peace.  It's a good feeling.

I've become very aware that I/we "live in the feeling of our thoughts".  What we think, leads to how we feel.  Together this creates our personal reality.  We are only one thought away from a new reality! 

This is liberating for me, one who thinks herself into anxiety-producing worst case scenarios and self-loathing depressions on a cyclical basis.  Also I think I know what everyone else is thinking too and I add that to my list of thinking myself into believing things that may or may not be true, but are mostly not my business.  It's exhausting and unnecessary.  

My thinking mind needs to realize that I have infinite possibilities for thought and I don't have to return to those well worn grooves of worry.  The circumstances aren't doing me in -- it's my thoughts about circumstances that get me.  (It's why several people can experience the very same thing and have very different responses to it.  Our thoughts create our personal reality -- every time!)

Anyway...in my quieter absence from yakking at people in various places,  I've mostly spent the last few weeks staring at an empty aquarium.

I decided a little over a month ago to get my own tank.  Son One is a serious hobbiest and I've enjoyed his enthusiasm for his aquariums.  On a bit of an impulse, I decided to give it a try.  Something new to learn (chemistry!), a live thing to care for (fish!), and a pretty thing to look at (clear water, colorful movement, relaxing aesthetic!)  Son One took me shopping and we got my 10 gallon tank set up with live plants and a two Nerite snails.  But wait....no fish???  

My first learning was about "cycling" or "seasoning" the tank.  It's very science-y and I'm still learning and my head is spinning with conflicting information, but I'm loving this so far.  Get the plants established and water parameters stabilized, then add fish.  This can take several weeks unless you do it with chemicals, which I am not.  Mother Nature is my friend.

My water plants are growing like crazy. (Valestinaria, Red Tiger Lotus, and Crytocoryne Wendtii Green).  My Red Lotus has sent up three new shoots of leaves to float atop the water.  So pretty.  I have some other green floating plants that Son One gave me too -- not sure what they are.  One of my Nerites died, sadly.  The other is doing well.  I added two Mystery Snails which are growing and seem healthy and busy.  (Did you know they eat blanched green beans, cucumbers, spinach...??? So cool!)

I check my water chemistry daily and it's pretty stable.  After 4-1/2 weeks, I might be ready to add some fish soon, but part of me almost doesn't want to.  I am  learning patience and how to create a watery eco-system, not just something pretty to look at.  (Algae is a good thing in a new tank!)  Fish will just complicate things.  And be beautiful, of course.  So there's that.

Yet, if I think my aquarium MUST have fish, my feeling right now would be one of impatience and frustration.  But if I think my aquarium is an environment that is evolving and each day brings new change and new learning, the feeling I have is one of wonder and joy with what's right in front of me.  

Quiet mind, good feeling, no fish (yet).

At least, that's the view from here...©