HALLOWEEN: When my boys were young this was my favorite holiday. I went all out! What's not to like? It's basically a one day holiday; doesn't involve making a meal or having an obligatory gathering of family and/or friends; the decorations are fun and creative; you get to dress up as your alter-ego; AND you get to eat boatloads of candy that people just hand out for free!
But this year I'm sort of taking a pass. I usually decorate for Autumn in September, haul out the Halloween decor in October, put that away and get some turkey stuff out for November, then put it all away to start throwing red and green around the house in December. This year I got out minimal Autumn decor and zero Halloween stuff. I was going to go dark tonight, but I've now decided to hand out granola bars to the few kids who will come to my door. Every year it's fewer and fewer and I don't know any of them. Our neighborhood attracts families from other areas, so cars drive up, drop off their trick or treaters who plunder the 'hood and take off again. I don't mind, but I don't know any of the kids, which makes it a little less fun. So, we will see how it goes. I'm mostly happy for my grandkids who are looking forward to their own Halloween fun in their neighborhood.
TRAVEL: Do you watch PBS, especially anything Masterpiece? Then you've seen the Viking River Cruise commercials. We signed up for one leaving next spring -- the Grand European Tour from Amsterdam to Budapest. Friends have raved about it. Viking caters to the traveler's every whim, you feel pampered, see lots of cool stuff, and make friends for life. Uh-huh. Well, we spent one entire day on their website and on the telephone making our flight and excursion arrangements with Viking and let me just say, it was not seamless nor particularly easy. However, the Viking travel coordinator couldn't have been more accommodating. It was just complicated. Maybe I'll do a whole post on that one day. For now I am putting it out of my mind.
We took a less high stakes trip to San Diego last week. A 5-day getaway as our rainy season here in the Pacific Northwest gets underway. It was 72 and and sunny in SD, as advertised. As always. I don't think I'd get bored with that. We did touristy things -- walked and walked as we always do and saw the main downtown/waterfront sights. We did a trolly trip out to Coronado Island and walked on the beach. We visited a Dia De Los Muertos celebration Old Town. And saw more unfortunate un-homed people living on the street than my heart could tolerate.
I will confess to a mixture of feelings -- great sympathy and curiosity about how so many lives became so desperate and sad. Also, a feeling of guilt at my revulsion over the filth and smell of unwashed bodies and urine soaked sidewalks. Also, frustration and helplessness over the intractable nature of addressing and solving this problem through policy, politics, and do-gooderism. No matter which direction we headed from our hotel, we walked past individuals curled up in doorways and small tent cities under viaducts. I mostly felt safe enough, but with the 'streetwise' caution of not really knowing if/when someone on drugs or with mental health issues might do something unexpected and threatening. This is the reality of cities large and small to one degree or another. It's sad.
FRIENDS: Yesterday, just a week shy of our 6th anniversary, I and a group of my friends (who call ourselves the Coffeehouse Crew) had a rare in-person meet-up at a local restaurant. Ten of of gathered around a big table and delighted in seeing whole live bodies after years now of meeting primarily on Zoom. Before Covid we met monthly at a different coffeeshop each time. Then Covid hit and many were feeling isolated, so we decided to meet weekly on Zoom. We've continued to do this since we are also geographically spread out and some of us like to be in our jammies all day. LOL But we've decided that meeting in person occasionally would be great too so we will do that every so often, along with our Zoom gatherings.
I realized how much I've missed seeing those women in person. I realize how infrequently I see anyone in person. My introverted nature was delighted with the Covid lockdown. No more forced socializing! I kept up all my connections through FB, this blog, emails, cards, texts, Messenger....but my in-person interactions took a nosedive and has remained so even now. I go out. I do things. I meet friends for coffee or lunch now and again, but Hub and I rarely go to someone's home or have people over other than family. It's so different from how it was in the "before times". I'm realizing I've settled into a new way of being and I am discerning what that means and how that feels to me. What I notice is that I'm good for about 90 minutes of social interaction, then I'm sort of exhausted. I will have to work back up to full speed!
GRATITUDE: It's been a year since my right hip started to bug me. I went to Physical Therapy early this year and that helped. Then I signed up with a personal trainer in the spring and that helped too. But this fall it has gotten worse, to the point where some days I can barely limp across the room. (And other days, like on vacation last week, I walked 5-6 miles a day!) So I'm going back to PT. This has been such a humbling experience. I've prided myself on my fitness and lack of chronic conditions that limit me. I have greater empathy for how something can develop that can slow or stop you in your tracks and the cascading effects of that, both physically and emotionally. I've gained weight since I've not been able to exercise and walk as much. I've been in tears of frustration over feeling limitations in movement -- even simply going up a flight of stairs. I'm less confident in my ability to do certain activities. It sucks.
AND I do not have anything life-threatening. I do not have arthritis or joint deterioration. This is all due to my scoliosis and a lifetime of compensation for spine curvature which has caused my muscles and supporting tendons, etc to tighten up and "hold on". I need to do a lot of work to loosen and soothe, build strength, and hopefully find a way to live with this without pain or limitation. And I have a great team of professionals who know how to help me -- doctor, physical therapist, trainer, yoga therapist. So I'm humbled but grateful. And grateful for having developed a desire to persevere. I might feel like giving up in many areas of my life, but I don't. Eventually I just find a way, a path, a guide, and I keep on. Don't we all?
At least, that's the view from here...©
Much of this rings true for me. I need to remember gratitude now often
ReplyDeleteI try to find gratitude in the mess of my life. Usually I'm successful without putting a Pollyanna sheen on the challenges. Sometimes it's the simplest things....
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