We Christmas-gifted our 13-1/2 year old granddaughter (let's call her Angel) an "experience" -- an outing of some sort (perhaps with a friend, since friends these days are her passion). She did some research and chose to go to a very hip and urban neighborhood in Seattle to a "candle bar" where one smells about 100 scents and chooses up to 18 favorites, then works with a "scent specialist" to create a personalized scented candle to the tune of either $30.00 (one wick) or $50 (three wicks). Hmm...OK. Yesterday, Saturday, was the day which we chose because her parents (Son One and Beautiful DIL) had a day- long snowshoe hike planned and we thought it would be good for our granddaughters to be with us for the day.
With admirable foresight and perhaps a bit of self-interest, Angel asked me if she and her friend (who will now be called Friend) could actually come over Friday night for a sleepover and then they would all already be here on Saturday to get an early start on the day. (Their candle bar reservation was at 10:30.) It seemed like a good idea and super easy, since I'd previously hosted a sleepover for her and FOUR friends a few months ago. (YIKES!) So Angel and Friend along with our 8 year old granddaughter who we will call Jewel, arrived at 6 p.m. on Friday with overnight gear in tow and two grocery bags full of junk food.
They all almost immediately disappeared downstairs to our TV room and adjoining Game Room (pool table, darts, foosball). Perfect spots to hang out and away from us, just like their dad and his friends did as teenagers. Sweet...And Win! Win!
Within 20 minutes Jewel came upstairs to tell me Angel needed some tampons. What?!? I haven't had tampons in the house since my hysterectomy at the turn of the century. I envisioned another trip to the store. I went downstairs to check on this request but was told Angel and Friend had worked out that Friend had "a whole bunch of pads" with her to share. First, when did girls start talking about their periods and period supplies with the same matter-of-factness as telling me they were hungry and decided to share a bag of chips? Back in my day this little convo would have been unheard of! Second, just how much did Jewel know of any of this? Turns out, not much. She knows the words, but not the whys, and was content to be reassured that blood in the toilet didn't mean anyone was dying.
So, back upstairs, girl-crisis averted, it was time to get some supper started. I'd gone shopping for pizza fixings that afternoon; Hub helped organize the "build your own pizza" bar in the kitchen and took charge of getting the pizzas in the oven and drinks doled out. Toppings had to be negotiated, but finally everyone apparently enjoyed the result. They took their slices back downstairs and only empty plates returned.
Around 8:00, the girls were back upstairs ready to create some god-awful concoction of green 'cotton candy' grapes coated in melted Jolly Rancher candies, rolled in "Nerds" little candy balls. First, cotton candy grapes are some GMO invention that taste like soap, in my judgement. Jolly Ranchers are hard candies of colors and flavors not found in nature. Nerds should be outlawed. The result was disgusting. They loved them.
The evening progressed with relative ease from there until about 9:45. Hub went up to our room to read and get ready for bed. I knew the girls were still being a bit rowdy downstairs and not at all ready to settle down, so I wasn't comfortable retiring for the night. I decided to watch something on TV and no sooner settled on a movie than Angel appeared upstairs around 10:15 to get a glass of water and to quietly share her frustration that Jewel wouldn't give Angel and Friend any "space" of their own and wanted to be included in everything they were doing. I sympathized. But really, what could I do? It's the nature of the little sister beast. I asked Angel when she thought they might be ready to settle down a bit and when she thought they might be ready for lights out. She said, "Well, realistically, like midnight, maybe 1:00." What?!? But I also know that is the nature of the sleepover beast. I sighed. Then she said, "But I do have some gummy things I can take to help me relax and they put you right to sleep." RED ALERT! RED ALERT! RED ALERT!
You would have been impressed by my calm exterior response. Internally I was freaking out. ("No...not my baby! Not yet! Oh no!!!") I realize I'm in the minority, but I have a personal value system that is anti-substances of any kind and which barely tolerates Ibuprofen for my migraines. But I just calmly said, "Oh, where did you get these gummies? How many do you have? Do you know what's in them that makes you sleepy?" She got them from the mom of her friend (who is Muslim, not that that should matter, but I know there are more strict rules for her than others) as samples. Samples of what?!?, I wondered. I told her to bring me the packets so I could take a look. She did. They were sealed two-packs of gummies of Melatonin and Passion Flower, labeled "Relax". I took them from her. I told her I was uncomfortable with her having them unless her parent's knew. I gave her big kudos for honesty in telling me. She seemed chill with the whole thing. No big deal. She went back downstairs. I immediately started Googling and found all the usual contradictory internet advice from "safe for kids over three" to "use with caution and consult pediatrician first." I texted her parents. They did not know about them, but were not too concerned; thanked me for letting them know.
I was just getting past this little incident, when 15 minutes later Jewel came upstairs in tears. Angel and Friend were being "mean" to her and not letting her make videos with them. (This seems to be a non-stop activity of the early teen set -- constantly videoing each other being ridiculous.) Jewel and I sat on the sofa while I listened to her lament about being left out, that she had no friends to have sleepovers with, that she wants a best friend like Angel has, and it's not fair...on and on. I commiserated, reassured, told stories of my own loneliness at times, promised that when she was a bit older, like Angel, she will have SO MANY FRIENDS! I could tell she was also just really tired. When she was a baby/toddler I could always get her to sleep by rubbing her feet. I reached for one foot and started to massage. She smiled. I kept it up and soon she was telling me how much she loves algebra, her fun at recess, and about some book she is reading and we talked and laughed as I just kept up the foot massage on both feet. After about 30 minutes she went back downstairs, but was immediately back up telling me the girls weren't there. She thought they went outside. "Now what?!", I thought.
I went back down with her and we found them in the Game Room, sitting on my LIGHT BROWN leather loveseat with some cheap "dime store" bright red lipstick (or was it face make up like one uses for Halloween?) rubbed all over their faces (and fingers) making videos of their shennanigans. Nope. I hustled them off the leather loveseat and into the bathroom with soap and water, then back to the TV room with firm instructions to "settle down for the night". They turned down the lights, snuggled into their blankets, and turned on some movie that seemed appropriate for all ages (but what do I know?) and I left them to it. I went up to bed at midnight, exhausted. Thankfully I didn't hear from them again.
I wish I could tell you I fell into a deep and restful sleep. I did not. I have written previously about my 'highly sensitive' nature and my low tolerance for over-stimulating environments, constant interruptions, and emergent responses to events. Well, I was in the thick of it, only 6 hours into the 24 I'd committed to. I was in full on "worry and stress" mode. But also with a healthy dose of deep gratitude for even having the privilege of being in their young, busy, confusing, amazing lives. Being a grandma is confusing too.
At least that's the view from here...©
Part 2 coming up....
No comments:
Post a Comment