THE TWINS

My dear friend, Introvert, is dancing a jig this morning.  Her twin, Hedonist, knows this is going to be a good day!  Because their alter-ego, Ivy, has done it again -- scheduled herself into a frantic need to be alone and comforted.  Ahhh......

She...OK... I have been blessed with activities and experiences that I consciously chose to do, so any complaint feels selfishly unappreciative.   But any introvert knows it doesn't matter if life is "good"; when it's time to be alone and drifting, the need is so strong it almost hurts.

August started with a 3 day visit by cousins we had not seen in over 20 years.  We were hosts and tour guides until they left on the next leg of their summer journey through the west.  (We had a great time with them,  gently navigating around topics of politics and religion).  In the following 2 weeks Hub and I attended to lots of home projects (sense of accomplishment), went to two Ecstatic dances (oh, such joy!), planned and went on a camping trip (nature's beauty astounds), saw a concert (love me some Blues!), went to a Buddhist teaching event (perhaps more on that another time), attended a two-day personal growth workshop (shared with friends, so meaningful in that way, but not so hot in other ways), and had another overnight visit by the cousins at the tail end of their trip (fun, but I was fading....).  They left this mid-morning.  I believe they still had the back wheels of their rental car at the bottom of the driveway when I opened the little package of Oreo cookies they left here and scooped some ice cream into a bowl and indulged a need for comfort food, uncaring about calories or carbs.

Hub is working today, something he does occasionally in his semi-but-mostly-retired life.  It's good timing since even he won't be here and the house is blissfully mine, alone.  So, my plan for today is to talk to no one. To pet my dog and hold my cat.  To watch TV.  To crochet.  To write.  To read.  To meditate.  To cook a simple dinner.  To not watch the clock or make a plan or go anywhere or do anything that doesn't happen in slow motion time.  To be quiet.

It used to feel self-indulgent to allow myself days like this.  I've learned that it is not self-indulgent to know my mental health is a priority and to do what I need to do to re-charge.

The twins, Introvert and Hedonist, will finish the big afghan today, let all calls go into voice mail, catch up on old Daily Shows, maybe take a nap.  Tomorrow and into the rest of this week I will do more of the same, along with a Yoga class or two, until I feel ready again for life's many blessings of community, experience, and abundance to unfold.  Slowly.

At least, that's the view from here...©