PUFFER FISH

 I'm disappointed with my face.

Since my successful cataract surgery and replacement of old overhead lighting with bright LEDs in my bathroom, things have gone downhill.  It's shocking actually.  No wonder my little granddaughter is appalled when I tell her one day she will look like me with a few wrinkles and sags.  More than a few, it turns out.

On top of that, my dermatologist has me smearing a topical chemo cream on my face for one week a month, three months in a row.  This is to arrest any dormant cancer cells that might have a mind to punish me for overexposure to the sun in the past 69 years.  I've completed the second month -- one more to go.  What happens is for that week of treatment and about 10 days after, red blotches show up making me look like I have an outbreak of measles in some areas of my face.  It's a good look that people admire.  NOT!  My skin gets extra dry so I slather on a variety of moisturizers then some liquid makeup to try to smooth out the skin tone (cover up the blotches), and all of it is very discouraging.  But not as discouraging as skin cancer, so there's that.

ALSO, one side of my face is caving in.  The right side seems to be losing collagen at a rapid rate.  I feel my cheek bone and just below there is a sunken area that seems like an ever expanding crater.  The other side of my face has a comparatively soft, smooth, rounded cheek area.  I asked my dermatologist about this and she said it might be because I sleep on my right side.  I've been smushing my face for several decades with my right side sleeping preferences.  I'm trying to rectify that, but habits are hard to break.  I have a hard time falling asleep in other positions, and even if I do, I wake up on my right side anyway after the nighttime gremlins come in and shove me over.

Jane Fonda, who looks artificially amazing for 82, announced recently she will forgo any further plastic surgery.  She admitted to vanity, but will no longer "cut herself" for beauty.  I have been a firm and vocal proponent for aging naturally -- no hair dye, no surgery.  I've encouraged women to embrace their natural beauty, no matter their age (with the caveat that I do wear a bit of make up even when not trying to hide measley looking skin.)   But I've been wavering ever so slightly.  NO surgery for me, but is there a magic potion, a little teeny injection of something that could make my face less lopsided?

Sure.  I'm sure there is.  But my fear is that I'd end up looking like a puffer fish about to be attacked and I'm not willing to take that risk.  So I ask for your forebearance.  This is me.  This is my face.  Splotches, wrinkles, craters and all.  Sigh.


At least, that's the view from here...©

Puffer Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com

WRINKLES IN THE BLUR

I think my failing eyesight is causing my wrinkles.  Seriously.  I never had horizontal wrinkles across the top of my nose before, but I've noticed them recently and I'm stunned.  How the hell does one get wrinkles on one's friggin' nose?!?

I think it coincides with my almost constant squinting lately.  My eyes are messed up.  And I'm annoyed by that because it's like Karmic "gotcha" in that I've been a bit braggy about my eyesight since having Lasik surgery in 2002.   I chose to do "mono vision" where one eye is corrected for distance and one for near vision (reading, etc).  I crowed about it being the best decision I ever made and was very "ooh la la" about my ability to read tiny print without glasses!  It really was quite wonderful for many years.

Full disclosure -- not so wonderful was realizing that in low light conditions --movie theaters, dimly lit restaurants, super cloudy days, night driving -- my near vision eye for some reason became dominant and I couldn't see a thing without glasses to correct for distance!  But I put up with that because of the fabulous super power ability to read without reading glasses.  I saved a ton of money on "readers" (always losing or breaking them) and reading was not only my passion but integral to my profession.

But in recent months, it seems I can see neither near nor far.  I complained about this at my last eye exam, and was given a prescription for bifocals, but they don't seem to be helping.  I can see distance fine in the mornings (best with glasses on -- so much for that Lasik eye), but if I do extended near work -- reading, computer, coloring -- my eyes go blurry both while I'm trying to see up close and even when I put the close work down and just want to see distance.  Even with glasses on,  everything is a blur for quite some time.  So, I have to be careful about how much reading I do before driving!  I spend my days squinting and trying to find the "sweet spot" where I can see best.  WTH?

So, this is becoming quite annoying and my eye doc is going to hear about it again this year at my exam.  Because not only can I not see, but all this squinting is wrecking havoc on the "youthful looking" bridge of my nose.  Don't misunderstand.  I'm not blind; I see things heading south, but I thought that one area might remain the last bastion against the effects of age, gravity, and sun exposure that seems to have caught up with my face.  But, alas, I guess not.  UNLESS!  I really don't have wrinkles but my blurry eyesight makes it look like I do!  Happy delusions!

Well, also on the health front, I've been reading, again, about how important it is to stay hydrated, so I've upped my water intake (today, anyway) and maybe that will smooth things out on my face.  I know my Fitbit is happy with all the extra steps to the bathroom.

At least, that's the view from  here...©