PUFFER FISH

 I'm disappointed with my face.

Since my successful cataract surgery and replacement of old overhead lighting with bright LEDs in my bathroom, things have gone downhill.  It's shocking actually.  No wonder my little granddaughter is appalled when I tell her one day she will look like me with a few wrinkles and sags.  More than a few, it turns out.

On top of that, my dermatologist has me smearing a topical chemo cream on my face for one week a month, three months in a row.  This is to arrest any dormant cancer cells that might have a mind to punish me for overexposure to the sun in the past 69 years.  I've completed the second month -- one more to go.  What happens is for that week of treatment and about 10 days after, red blotches show up making me look like I have an outbreak of measles in some areas of my face.  It's a good look that people admire.  NOT!  My skin gets extra dry so I slather on a variety of moisturizers then some liquid makeup to try to smooth out the skin tone (cover up the blotches), and all of it is very discouraging.  But not as discouraging as skin cancer, so there's that.

ALSO, one side of my face is caving in.  The right side seems to be losing collagen at a rapid rate.  I feel my cheek bone and just below there is a sunken area that seems like an ever expanding crater.  The other side of my face has a comparatively soft, smooth, rounded cheek area.  I asked my dermatologist about this and she said it might be because I sleep on my right side.  I've been smushing my face for several decades with my right side sleeping preferences.  I'm trying to rectify that, but habits are hard to break.  I have a hard time falling asleep in other positions, and even if I do, I wake up on my right side anyway after the nighttime gremlins come in and shove me over.

Jane Fonda, who looks artificially amazing for 82, announced recently she will forgo any further plastic surgery.  She admitted to vanity, but will no longer "cut herself" for beauty.  I have been a firm and vocal proponent for aging naturally -- no hair dye, no surgery.  I've encouraged women to embrace their natural beauty, no matter their age (with the caveat that I do wear a bit of make up even when not trying to hide measley looking skin.)   But I've been wavering ever so slightly.  NO surgery for me, but is there a magic potion, a little teeny injection of something that could make my face less lopsided?

Sure.  I'm sure there is.  But my fear is that I'd end up looking like a puffer fish about to be attacked and I'm not willing to take that risk.  So I ask for your forebearance.  This is me.  This is my face.  Splotches, wrinkles, craters and all.  Sigh.


At least, that's the view from here...©

Puffer Photo Credit:  www.pixabay.com