ROCKIN' HOT BOD ON THE BEACH

At the risk of sounding insufferable I'm about to write a motivational piece you will either love or hate.  At various times in my life I, too, would have read this either way.  Now, proceed, and see where you fall on the love/hate spectrum...and why.

Readers may recall I've been using the Noom app to guide me toward the goal of a healthier weight for my diminutive height (5'2").  I've long said that my weight is fine; it's my height that needs improvement.  No amount of standing tall in Mountain Pose has been successful in gaining vertical inches.  I've been reduced to reducing my girth.

I've been on Noom for a few days over a year.  I have LOVED it.  It's the first program with which I've found lasting success and the desire to keep up my new habits.  It's all based on introspection, psychology, nutrition, habit awareness and change, and constant positive reinforcement.  Right up my alley.  And with any program there is no substitute for determination and commitment, so there's that too.  

At the very beginning clients are encouraged to figure out Your Big Picture -- the big WHY one wants to change.  My Big Picture is to grow older with health and vitality so I can be an active part of my grandchildren's lives.  That has motivated me consistently, where lesser desires have not.  I've always rationalized my way around other goals and have not been able to sustain my plan.  There is no rationalizing my way around this one.  So many unforeseen things can happen to us -- illness, accident, a tragic diagnosis -- but if something is within my control, I want to use my powers of mindfulness, determination, and commitment to mitigate foreseen factors in ill health.  At least that's the plan.

So, yes, I've lost weight. I've spent decades hiding from the camera, or behind other people, or hitting the delete option until I was nearly erased from documentation of family life.  This trip to Kauai I seem to be hogging the camera.  I'm proud of not feeling embarrassed at how I look.  Hub is having fun taking photos of me without me scowling or protesting.

Does this mean I have reached Perfect Body Image Land?  Is there such a thing?  No.  I'm still chunky around the middle -- it's genetic!  Look at photos of my parents!!!  My legs are skinny and I have no booty to speak of.  I tried a series of yoga poses on the beach and the resulting photos are not super great.  My tummy hangs down in Plank Pose and projects out in all the Warrior Poses even though I was going for a strong core.  I'm almost straight up and down since I don't have a very pronounced waistline from boobs to hips (notice this in Tree Pose).  I rarely post photos of myself here on the blog, but I'm posting this one -- with trepidation -- so you can have a field day critiquing my less than perfect body.  It will help you feel better.  I'm no swimsuit or Yoga Journal model.  Hardly anyone is.  

BTW, the tan is fake -- thanks to Jergens Natural Glow tanning lotion.  I'm not letting the sun touch my lily white Northern European skin any more after indiscretions of my youth that have come back to haunt me and my dermatologist.  But I like a little sun-kissed look when in Hawaii, so I use the lotion which gradually darkens the surface layer of skin temporarily and will fade in a few days if I don't reapply.  I guess that's vanity.  You can judge.  But as vanities go...  And if "tan" isn't your thing, that's perfect too! You be you!

We can all self-criticize to death -- sometimes literally as those with eating disorders have done.  Body image is a thing Noom focused on in our lessons last week with the encouragement to stand in front of the mirror either clothed or unclothed and focus on all the things you like about your body.  Try it.  It's hard.  We are so programmed to find fault.  Our culture tells us how to look and if we don't (no one does) we feel shame.  

Here's what I'm noticing...I can paddle, walk up hills and over rough terrain, hike, climb over rocks, get up and down from the chair or the floor, or the ridiculously low-seated car we've rented,  twist and turn, stand on one leg (for a second or a minute depending on the day).  My poofy belly has nothing to do with my ability to be mobile and sorta agile, on a good day.   (Yoga has A LOT to do with it!)  Losing weight has helped with my stamina, yes, and for that I'm grateful.  

But judging myself by how I look and not how I move through the world is silly.  My granddaughters have healthier body image ideas than I do!  They love who they are and what they can do and neither of them is "perfect" except in the way we all are.  Self acceptance, doing our best, taking a risk, being mindful, and being gentle with ourselves in the process all serves us no matter what our goals in life.

No matter our limitations, from injury, illness, genetics, or self-imposed judgement (the worst limitation!), we can define Our Big Picture to motivate us toward a goal of self-discovery and self-acceptance and maybe even a small, but mighty change in the body's ability to support us as best it can going forward.

At least, that's the view from here...©

P.S. Just as I'm ending this post... I skipped our walk today and Hub just got back.  He took a fall on a slope on loose red rock and his Apple Watch asked if he fell and if he was OK.  He is...just a scraped knee like a 6 year old.  But see?  Technology has our backs even when we are fit, agile, and in great shape, like he is.  So, yes, anything can happen.  But our Big Picture goals can see us through and the nice people at Apple will call an aid car if you need one. Win-Win!

2022 - RUN TOWARD THE ROAR

It's raining.  Not startling news for a Pacific Northwest January.  But it's welcomed by me today as the temperatures rise above freezing and nearly foot of snow covering our neighborhood finally begins to melt away.  The snow fell on Christmas night and all day the 26th, about 7 inches, then a couple days later another 3-4 inches and the temperatures stayed in the teens and 20's for the duration -- actually the longest stretch of below freezing temps in 23 years.  Not typical.  But it was beautiful, even if I decided to stay in where it was warm (not a fan of being cold) and did not brave driving on hills.

But today I'm glad for the rain because I had to go get a Covid test, pre-colonoscopy.  Yes; I really know how to start the New Year in a sparkly manner!  Colonoscopy on Tuesday morning means I am forbidden to eat anything but a clear liquid diet starting Monday morning.  Hello chicken broth, jello, and laxative-laced Gatorade!  This. Is. Not. Fun.  But since this torture only happens every 10 years, my doc tells me this will likely be my last colonoscopy procedure unless they find something startling.  So, that's good, I guess. After 80 years old they must just figure, well, why bother?  Which I do take exception with, so we will see.  Anyway...

There was a long line for the drive-through Covid test.  I'm not surprised.  Here's some jolly New Year news:  We are in the midst of a dramatic upturn in Covid 19 cases due to the super contagious "Omicron" variant's spread.  Hub and I and our family are vaccinated, even the kids, and boosted.  We thought we'd all be fine.  But this one can also attack those who are immunized, as it did one family member after a Christmas gathering.  The vaccinated who contract it likely won't get super sick, or end up in the ICU, or die as is happening at an alarming rate among the unvaccinated.  But we could still contract the virus, test positive, and develop symptoms that do not go away -- loss of taste and smell, debilitating fatigue, brain fog -- the "long-haul Covid" we are learning about as the virus settles into infected bodies and hangs around.

So Hub and I are hunkered down again doing a semi- self-quarantine for what we hope is relatively short duration until this spike goes back down to the "new normal" of acceptable risk. (Ask me how enraged I am at those millions in the U.S. who are anti-vaxxers and continue to allow this virus to spread, even at their own peril, with new more resistant variants popping up routinely!  Grrrr.)   I am not seeing anyone in person; Hub is doing at home rapid response tests before and after his snowboarding trips with close friends.  We are taking a break from family gatherings.  I love you friends.  I love you family.  But I don't want your Covid.  Back to Zoom.

On a happier health note.  I'VE LOST 15 POUNDS!  I was going to wait to announce this until I dropped 5 more to reach my new goal weight (after 15, I adjusted downward another 5.)   I truly don't think it should have taken me so long to lose a measly 15 pounds.  Some people can do that in very short order, but maybe because I didn't have a lot to lose, relatively speaking, to be at a healthier, height-appropriate weight it came off slowly?  I don't know.  I should be a weight loss biochemistry wizard by now with all I've read, practiced, and learned.  But mostly I'm just following Noom (Google it if you are unfamiliar) and credit that program for being PERFECT for psychology-obsessed, introspection-compulsive me.  I love my Noom program, my Noom support group, my Noom group leader, but mostly the motivation I found there to get to a body weight that I have not seen in decades and which has allowed me to take the black shrouds off all my full-length mirrors.  Huzzah!  

So, the New Year has begun with lots of "new" on the horizon for me.  I'll dive into specifics as time goes on.  For now, I'm grateful to be feeling hopeful, curious, determined, and relatively at ease.  Mid-late December was a rough period when I mostly felt none of that, so January is starting out downright giddy.

I hope you too are grabbing January in a big bear hug.  We all have to embrace the joy when it comes.  God knows, challenges lie ahead.  Scary world, scary decisions, risk, and reward. But we got this.  Let's join hands, conjure up some courage, and run toward the roar!

At least, that's the view from here...©