Here goes. Why is "old" so bad? Why do we nip, tuck, tweak, dye, and lie it away? Why is "old" synonymous with infirmity, ignorance, sedentary pursuits, lack of curiosity, and inability to continue to grow in meaningful ways?
I saw this on Facebook today.
My adventure these days is to find my comfort zone, at all times and in all places, after spending much too much of my life "acting as if", being someone I thought I should be, or what others wanted me to be, or going and doing to such an extent that I was generally overwhelmed and exhausted. Is wanting to live in my comfort zone a sign of "growing older", no longer willing to push the envelope of "adventure"? I don't think so.
Are elders unable to be bold? Is boldness only allowed when one is trekking the Himalayas? Or was my elder mother acting out a kind of boldness when she moved from her large home, selling most of what she had and leaving a lifetime of familiarity behind, to move 2000 miles closer to me? She didn't see that as an adventure, for sure. She saw it as a step toward dependence and she resisted it, but with boldness she did it anyway, knowing it was for the best. She was growing older, but definitely not by any definition moving into her comfort zone.
I think we are all terrified of aging. I think we project ourselves into that nursing home bed, moaning and groaning, drooling on our hospital gowns, staring at the ceiling, ignored. Well, maybe that will happen. Maybe it won't. Watching my mother age was like watching the most courageous act of will, of surrender, and of grace I've ever seen. They say getting old isn't for sissies and I think that's true. You want adventure? Try being discriminated against…being called "geezer", "hag", "granny" (not as an honorific, but as a pejorative); try being dependent upon others who are too friggin' busy with their adventuring to be present for your final act of courage.
Here's what's bold for me, at 64. Embracing my age. Not denying or covering up. Making friends with a body that is changing in predicable ways. Undertaking a spiritual practice, with Yoga and meditation, that allows me to gain strength, balance, insight, and peace. My "call" is to pursue a quest of comfort with aging. But I don't think it's a passive pursuit. I think it's pretty damn bold and adventurous to face reality and embrace life here, now, with grace and humility, with curiosity and challenge, with commitment and fortitude.
At least, that's the view from here…. ©
