Kauai time. Again. Our annual visit. I was so sick of the rain and gray at home. It's brighter here, definitely warmer. There is sunshine. And all day yesterday, rain too. All day. I've read two novels on this trip so far. Yesterday I read the second of the two -- a whole novel in one day, which I have not done in decades! -- the 10th in Laurie R. King's series of mysteries about super sleuths Mary Russell and Sherlock Holmes wherein the semi-retired Holmes plays the supporting role to his young wife, the intrepid Mary Russell. Delicious. Anyway....
I sort of loved yesterday. Hub and I stayed in our villa, me reading, he playing Solitaire on his phone -- an obsession he picked up after we arrived here and seems not to be able to put aside. I'm sort of enjoying his mindless playfulness with the thing, since my novels are a companionable distraction for me. It's very unusual parallel play for us; usually one of is is "being" while the other is "doing" or we are both "doing" and lamenting not enough "being". Life!
Other things feel different here this trip too. There is a lot of resort renovation going on, so some areas are closed; there is noise, minor frustration. Last year I wrote a blog post about the realities behind the "highlight reel" of our stay here and this year I could write the same, and then some. Maybe this trip has outlived its usefulness as a spring getaway. Maybe we've overstayed our interest. Maybe it's time for a change. We are contemplating NOT coming every year. In fact, already for next Spring we've booked a Viking River Cruise in Europe, supplanting our usual Kauai timeframe.
That's not to say we aren't having a good time here. We are. It's just been a slow start, with lots of cloudiness, a rainy afternoon, then rain all day yesterday, me with my migraine/nausea showing up of course, the usual little annoyances of travel, and just a general malaise -- mostly on my part. I just don't have any energy for much physical activity, which puts me at odds with Hub's idea of fun. But even he has been much more contented (so far) to "be" and not so much "do." He brought his inflatable stand up paddle board and in our first 6 days here he's used it only once, briefly. He does plan a long paddle this afternoon, installing seats to use it as a kayak out on the bay and up the river.
Last year was my favorite Kauai vacation in the nearly 25 years we've come here. I was confident, happy, energetic, we had great weather, loved doing lots of physical activities (remember the dreaded mud hike???). This year I feel like a slug. Every outing is an effort. Not sure what's going on. Maybe I just need to give myself permission to accept this reality and not push myself? Maybe I need to push myself to get past this slo-mo tendency? How does one know? I don't know.
So, have we all enjoyed this whiny, privileged post? I am grateful to be here, in whatever mental and physical state I'm in. It's beautiful. We found a new beach we love. The pool here is warm enough in spite of a broken pool heater. Hub's nightly grilled fresh fish is delicious. We are loving being together with no distractions. And did I say it's warm??? Ahhh....
What I need to figure out is...can I stop ruminating on my "physical/mental state" and just trust that I know what I need and then lean into that? Stay tuned...
At least that's the view from here...©
Photo Credit: www.pixabay.com
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