MEDICAL CARE AND A SHOCKING EVENT

The new year means it's time to start again with the cycle of annual medical appointments that I religiously (and gratefully) schedule because I'm determined to do all I can to live well until I die.  One bad day is what I'm shooting for.  LOL  Sort of what we used to say about our dogs.  That last trip to the vet should be their one bad day.  We committed to them that we'd take care of them, helping them to live well, knowing they would slow down with age, but still they would bask in love and gratefulness for what we shared before the inevitable good-bye.  We all deserve that, right?

I've recently rejoined NOOM (weight loss/healthy living/psychological/motivational program) because my good intentions over the holidays did not exactly align with my actual behaviors around candy and cookies. I saw the pounds start to creep up a bit.  NOOM has us write a statement that they call Your Big Picture (YBP) as the ultimate motivational affirmation.  Here's mine (I've changed it a couple of times, but this is the current iteration): "I want to be fit and active as I grow older so I can be fully engaged with life -- with grace, confidence, and vitality."  I like it.  It motivates me to move when I'd rather sit, to pick an apple snack instead of a candy bar, to drink water throughout the day, to be intentional about what and how much I eat.  I'm not perfect, obviously -- those Christmas cookies!  But I try.

It also motivates me to get an annual physical exam, lab screenings, mammograms, audiology screening, eye exams, dermatology appointments for skin checks, dental cleanings every 6 months, and that dreaded colonoscopy when I have to.  I actually LOVE preventative care.  It comforts me to know that to the best of my ability nothing is lying in wait to sneak up on me unawares.  And if they find something awful, we'll hopefully catch it in time to fix it.  I'm currently in the middle of a multi-visit course of treatment with my Physical Therapist for hip and neck pain likely due to my body spending decades holding itself in a crooked posture, compensating for my scoliosis.  Finally all those weak muscles said, "Enough!" and got my attention with chronic pain.  Grrr.  But I'm grateful for my skilled therapist, and I feel better already. 

Still I know, bad things can happen out of the blue:  Here is the first "public" mention of my daughter-in-law's stroke a month ago.  ("Public" meaning the dozen or so people who read this blog.  LOL)  

This absolutely should not happen to the 36 year old, slim, fit, healthy wife of my son and mother to my grandchildren.  On that Sunday, she realized she was not feeling well, had a bad headache, and something weird going on with her eyesight.  On Monday, feeling no better, she left work and got herself to the E.R. (at the urging of the opthamologist she saw first) and immediately started a battery of scans and tests  that revealed a "possible stroke".  We were all shocked.  My son was with her; Hub and I rushed to be with the kids at their house after school, keeping them calm and cared for.

She was admitted to the hospital and over the next 5 days endured ongoing scans and tests and procedures of every possible kind. The stroke was confirmed and then they started trying to determine what had happened and why.  The neurologist told us that in 30% of cases they can't really pinpoint the cause.  This seems to be the case for our daughter-in-law.  They did discover an anomaly with her heart that will need to be repaired soon, but they don't know if this was the cause.  They'll fix it just in case.  In the meantime, she took time off work, trying to adjust to partial eyesight affecting her left side (zero ability to see anything peripherally on that side), can't drive until she takes a simulated test, and is on various mediations and a stroke prevention protocol indefinitely.

Unlike me, who has severe medical anxiety issues, (I would be a basket case of imagined impending doom) she is in remarkably good spirits.  For the past month, she has rested (almost constantly for the first week home from the hospital.)  Then, feeling a bit better, she continues to rest, but also is working at getting used to living normally, but with an eyesight deficit (which may get "better" but likely will not resolve completely.)  She and my son  have spent quality time together at home interspersed with him driving her to all her appointments and errands.  

She talks about not seeing things on her left side, with humor and acceptance.  We all try to make sure to position ourselves so she can see us.  She's practicing doing everyday things to see where she has to compensate.  She has helped choose new kitchen lighting, attended her daughter's school play, has gone on walks with her group of great girlfriends (they are mostly medical professionals, so she's in good hands), went grocery shopping, and visited friends for a Super Bowl party.  

She is grateful for the compassionate support of her bosses and colleagues around time away from her very demanding and stressful career managing two medical clinics.  She has returned this week on a limited schedule and reports things are going well; she's happy to be back. She takes lots of breaks since staring at her computer screen brings on headaches. Her young age and good health make her prognosis excellent for not having a repeat of this event. We are all expecting the best possible outcome. (By the way, please don't reach out to her if you know her...she knows we all care and I think she's trying to get on with life without repeating the story and having people hovering.)   

I have so many friends in my age cohort, where limitations begin to be expected, who spend a lot of time talking about and dealing with health issues.  We all know we can't ward off that last bad day forever.  But we must take whatever action we can to live with gusto, to take care of ourselves, to have intentions for health and vitality, and to be grateful for the longevity that previous generations would not have imagined.  

My daughter-in-law's stroke is even more reason for me not to take even one day for granted.  I honor her by taking care of me.  We all owe it to each other to value every minute of this human life; to have as much health and vitality as possible with our Big Picture, whatever it is, as motivator.

At least, that's the view from here...©