IRELAND: DITCHING THE HIGHLIGHT REEL

Our first trip "across the pond" was four years ago.  We did back-to-back Rick Steves tours of Scotland (10 days) and England (14 days).  I came home with a bad cold, exhausted, and swearing never another tour!  People apparently thought I'd had a miserable time.  I didn't. They just caught me moaning in overwhelm and exhaustion. (See previous post about my highly sensitive traits.)  I actually had a wonderful time.  As I did on our recent trip to Ireland -- another 14 day tour.

Yes, we jumped back in.  We bid on a Rick Steves tour at an auction for an organization we support.  We got into a good-natured "bidding war" with another guy, until he dropped out!!!  What?  We won.  So what to do?  We scheduled a tour with some trepidation, but feeling we'd do better this time.  First of all, NEVER do two tours together!  And we decided to do our best to pace ourselves, find times for quiet and aloneness, pack lighter.  (RS makes everyone lug their own luggage.)  We were not entirely successful.  It might be impossible.

I posted each day's activities to Facebook, as a travel journal for me and as virtual travel for those who appreciate going along vicariously with others who travel.  On Facebook it looked magical, perfect, with quintessential Irish culture and sites in abundance, us always smiling.  

What no one saw was the fact that I slept abysmally about 1/3 of the time.  We changed hotels on average every 2 nights as we made our way around the island.  The longest stay was 3 nights, the shortest were two 1-night stays.  This means we lived out of our suitcases.   (Highly sensitive to new places/clutter/chaos.)  NOTE:  Even once home, I woke up for the first few mornings wondering, "Where am I and which way to the bathroom?"  LOL)

Accommodations on RS tours are interesting -- he tries to choose only local, family owned inns which can be absolutely lovely or maybe a bit dated and threadbare.  All are clean and very adequate, but often small.  In one room I had to step over my open suitcase to get to the bathroom.  But most of the places on this trip were pretty 'luxe, one or two being fabulous.  I will say the proprietors are mostly wonderful and I love the idea of supporting them.

We were two of 26 on the tour with a guide and a driver (all masked per RS Covid policy, FYI).  To cover the whole island there were a couple of long days of travel on the "coach".  We made stops, of course, but it's a bus, ya know?  At least we were lucky enough to get to sit in one of the first 3 rows most of the time.  There is a request that if you get the "front row" one day, you'll relinquish it to others the next day and so forth.  NO ONE wanted the front seat most of the time!  I guess they were partying in the back (albeit quietly since I didn't hear a thing from back there...maybe they were napping?) so after offering that prime real estate to others, we took it if no one spoke up.  I loved looking out the big front windows at the road ahead, which also helped with my tendency toward motion sickness.  (Highly sensitive to body sensation/movement.)

Breakfast is always provided but generally service started at 7:30, so we set our alarm for 6:30 most days.  If I wasn't already awake from not sleeping, the jarring alarm startled me upright with an adrenalin rush, pounding heart, feeling tired and disoriented.  The breakfasts were mostly buffet style, some really good, some really not so good.

About half of the dinners are provided, eating as a group in pre-chosen restaurants.  The restaurants were great and the food delicious!  (A couple from the Michelin Guide were particularly good!) I was amazed at the creative and really tasty vegetarian meals I had.  I go into any restaurant and give the menu a quick look;  I don't want alcohol, rich sauces, most cheeses, pasta generally, too many "hot" spices, red meat (or chicken most of the time).  That leaves usually 2-3 things to choose from, plus my go-to "cocktail" of sparkling water.  I was super happy to have some great meals in spite of these limitations to accommodate my (highly sensitive) constitution -- and health-conscious eating.

Note on alcohol.  I was the only non-drinker.  It seemed everyone was delighted to do my share of drinking.  No drunks or anything like that; very moderate drinking. But I'd say the group still put a little dent in the Guinness kegs and whiskey barrels at each stop.  My travel partner drank at least one Guinness a day (and on our own in Dublin we did a 3 hour tour/tasting at the 5-story Guinness brewery), leaving me thinking he'd found a new fave after years of saying he didn't even like it much.  But coming home he said it was an Ireland thing and he still wouldn't choose it at home, which surprised me, but I guess it's like "everyone is Irish on St. Pat's Day". He did bring back some Irish whiskey, another thing he almost never drinks, but I think that will be a passing fancy too.  He'll be back to his usual wine and micro-brews soon. What was annoying, again, is how much conversation centers around alcohol, no matter where I am.  Vintages, brews, distilleries, the subtle taste differences, the stories, the lore...urggh...Enough!

Back to the restaurants: so noisy!  Generally we were ushered to a room of our own for the group, or sat at long tables in a part of a busy restaurant and always we were rather jammed together.  While lovely to meet new people and chat over dinner, it's hard when it's so noisy.  And it's hard at the end of a tiring day to socialize with enthusiasm.  (See, again, highly sensitive traits around too much noise, crowds, people!)  There were a number of times I just didn't want to be social, or go out at all.  But instead of choosing to stay behind and miss something (including a delicious meal instead of take-away food to eat in my hotel room), I went.  But this pushing on in spite of needing down time took a toll on my energy level.

Our itinerary was FULL.  Rick Steves, if you've seen his PBS program, listened to his radio show or podcast, read his syndicated column, Zoomed into his Monday Night Travel, or watched any of his specials (he's everywhere!), is a supreme extrovert!  And his tours reflect that.  He packs the schedule with really cool places to visit, experiences to have, people to meet, food and drink to enjoy, and miles to travel.  It's great fun, but for me...well, sheesh.  Is there a similar tour for highly sensitive introverts where we cover the same itinerary in, like, a month, spending a little longer in each place with lots of time to just hang out?  I'm not sure that would help, but I do know I need A LOT more quiet, alone, "down time" than his tours afford.  Some of my favorite memories of this tour were the times when it was just Hub and me alone on the "non-tour" afternoons or evenings not scheduled with the group. There were times my sensory overwhelm led to being teary, bitchy, and sad.  But only in our hotel room.  Otherwise, ONWARD because "no grumps" is another RS tour rule.

Hub and I travel well together, with only a couple little tiffs in our three weeks away.  One, though, was significant.  On the last day he said he was sorry I didn't have a good time; that I had struggled and numerous times I said I wanted to go home.  I was shocked to hear his summation that I didn't have fun.  Nothing could be further from true.  I actually had a really good time!  But travel is hard and stressful for me, so I could (eventually) understand his assumptions.  

In our two hour "debrief" of his comments (and my tears), I realized he's my "safe place" to vent, perhaps unfairly.  And when he hears my distress it distresses him because he can't fix it for me.  And I realized by saying I wanted to "go home" I didn't literally mean I was grabbing my suitcase and heading for the airport; it meant I needed refuge.  I needed homelike peace and quiet; not the constant stimulation of information, sites, socializing, schedules, new beds, restaurant foods, alarm clocks, etc etc.  We talked it all through and came to a better understanding of what "big" travel can look like for us, making plans for our NEXT European trip, whether a tour or not, with more insight and clarity on what works best for us and how to best get through the hard times of being 'on the road'.  

So, you see, not every moment was Leprechauns and rainbows.  But like Rick, we do plan to "keep on travelin'".  Just know that every reality might not show up in the highlight reel.

At least, that's the view from here...©

Photo Credit:  Hub, Official Trip Photographer, at Dunluce Castle Ireland