I took a risk with my life this week and ventured to Lowe's Home & Garden Center to get a few container plants for the garden. I'm not sure this was an essential trip. I convinced myself that I'd be mostly outdoors and my mental health could benefit from seeing and buying and planting pretty flowers. So I went. I got a few pretties and patiently waited in the looonnngg checkout line where people were encouraged, but not required apparently, to keep a 6 ft distance. Others who wanted to cross this long line wiggled their way through at a distance of far less than 6 ft. Of course only about half the folks were wearing a mask, so the fact that I was was only nominally protective, but better than nothing is what I tell myself.
I finally reached the checkout booth (it's almost entirely enclosed these days). The woman working there who appeared to be about my "grandma" age, just glared at me, not making any move to start scanning my pots. Then she blurted, "Who picks this crap? Do I have to listen to this shit all day?!? Who is this anyway? It's just screeching!" Startled, it took me a minute, but then I got it -- the overhead speaker of piped in music was rather loud and right above her work station. "Um, yeah, well it's Cyndi Lauper. You know...the 80's....'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'..." She retorted, "Well I remember her; I thought she was a cute little girl, but this is just screeching. I'm going to see who picks this music! I have to stand here all day!"
This moment of workplace frustration off her chest, she proceeded to scan my purchases. I fumbled with my credit card, trying not to touch anything, but then realized I'd hit the "enter" button on the card reader with my finger, then touched my credit card, so I panicked and realized I'd now contaminated my card and what was I going to do with it until I could get to my sanitizing wipes which I'd forgotten to bring? I had some hand sanitizer in the car, but could I just squirt that on the card? I didn't have any tissues or paper towels.
I walked away as Tom Jones' "It's Not Unusual" started up on the overhead speaker and briefly wondered if this was more to the checker's liking or just more irritation. I also noted that everything was unusual, including being sworn to by the Lowe's checker, being deathly afraid of my credit card, and being desperate to get to some sanitizer before I ended up on a ventilator by dinnertime.
I got to the car, stashed my flowers in the trunk, immediately worrying about having touched the trunk latch, threw the radioactive credit card on the passenger seat, sanitized my hands, and took off.
I had decided to do my usual waterfront walk before heading home. When I got there, I put on my mask again, sunglasses, ballcap -- I always look like a bank robber when I head out in public. I noticed the credit card still on the seat and my first thought was, "Oh gosh! I can't leave that in plain sight; I gotta put that in my purse!" which I did, slammed the door, and off I went.
A hundred yards into my walk, it hit me. I'd never sanitized the card!!! Now I'd contaminated the entire inside of my little purse that I take on walks, which contains my driver's license, ear pods, chapstick, a couple bucks, and cell phone. Damn! I needed to check for messages on my cell phone since I was waiting for an important text. Well, I decided since everything was contaminated anyway, I'd just touch my phone and NOT touch my face, which I couldn't do in any case since it was covered hairline to chin line. I'd sanitize it all later. I dragged my phone out of the little bag probably half dozen times in the 4+ mile walk, checking for the text and dialing into a podcast.
When I got home, I unloaded all the items onto a sheet of newspaper to ready it all for sanitizing. Wait. "Where's my credit card?" In the car? Nope. Not in my bag. Not anywhere since I'd gone almost nowhere. I knew sure as the day is long that on one of the reaches in for my phone, I'd likely also pulled out the card and dropped it while on my walk. Damn!
I spent the next little while calling in to the credit card company to report a lost card, then trying to determine how many websites I'll have to contact to update payment information.
So, no, I'm still not feeling cheerful about the pandemic. But I do still like Cyndi Lauper. This girl just wants to have fun too. Puhleeze, just a little fun...
At least, that's the view from here...©
I carry sandwich bags in my pockets to drop my car keys in, my change (don't used credit cards) and wipes. Before going in a store, I get out of the car, lock my door an drop the keys in a baggie which allows me to unlock my car without getting my keys yucky. Once the door is open I take a whip on the door handle, the outside of the plastic bag I keep my keyes in and of course my hands. I don't touch the bag with my change for several days which has been sitting in a box in car where it waits for the virus to died. I bring my own pen to use to press buttons on those sales screens. Fortunately, here most people are wearing masks.
ReplyDeleteWow! You are super organized. I don't go out enough to have a routine established, which led to the comedy of errors!
DeleteDear Donna - one "bad habit" I've developed is stacking up blog post "I've got all the time in the world now, I'll read it later"👀 and the next thing you know, I've now added binge reader to my resume. I said all that, to say it this: just so you'd know you are Not a voice, crying out in the Wilderness" - I spent the last 15 minutes catching up on your post, you've nailed it, in your musings & I can so relate to things you've shared. I love the idea of yearly putting your writings in a book for prosperity sake. This "humourous" take on the pandemic , had me laughing. Thanks for writing, I Am listening.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm delighted you are here and reading, even if in binge mode. I do the same with blogs I follow. And thank you for the feedback. Music to this bloggers ears! :)
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