ZOOM-ZOOM

Had we known, we'd have all purchased stock in Zoom.  It's the "go-to" video conferencing site for keeping us connected to family, friends, co-workers, and audiences in this time of Stay Home/Stay Healthy lockdown.  There are others: Google Hang-out, Skype, maybe more.  But Zoom seems to have the market share.

Like many others, I'm trying hard not to turn into a Zoombie.   But with everyone clamoring to see each other, just to know other humans exist and our friends and family are still out there, I've been drawn in.  Monthly get-togethers are suddenly weekly and almost every day has a Zoom meet-up of some kind beckoning.

Hub and I decided we are going to put some parameters around this.  It's hard.  We have to be honest and not wiggle around the "white lie" of, "Oh, gosh.  I can't...I have a conflict."  Really?  Like what? What could we possibly be doing?  Not going on vacation.  Not going to a play or a ballgame. Not celebrating a birthday or going out to dinner with friends. Are we busy walking from the living room to the kitchen?  Scrolling through the Netflix menu for the 100th time? Nope, the honest truth is we just don't want our lives to be lived in front of a computer screen talking to disembodied heads all day.  As great as it is to see people, it is an artificial and at times frustrating endeavor.  We want to savor the opportunities, not dread them.

I have found hilarity in learning the trick of Zoom though.  On Monday I was on a Zoom meeting with my Coffeehouse Crew (a group of women who meet monthly for coffee at a local coffee shop.)  Most of us are of an age where technology still seems 'new' and rather intimidating.  We are not, shall we say, tech nerds.  So we spent the better part of an hour waiting for the host to sign in; she was having problems with the shared account she was using, then she gave up and another of us hosted the meeting, then we had to help her figure out how to let others join, all the while checking emails and texts to communicate with those waiting that we were doing our best... Some gave up, for which I don't blame them.  Time was about up anyway.

Here's another thing I notice.  We should all try harder.  Sitting in front of a computer, even with a camera trained on us, we seem not to be able to get ourselves situated so that others can easily see us, which is the whole point of the whole thing!  Nor do we care much what we look like.  It's as if an invisibility cloak was thrown over our stay-at-home selves, not that there's anything inherently wrong with a "who gives a shit?" Covid-inspired fashion statement, but I dunno, some effort maybe?  (If you are reading this and taking offense, obviously I don't meant you!)

Let's take a look at the common offenders.  And let's go with the given that I didn't bother with make up or a hairbrush to act as a model.  (And I have to do the list before the photos this way because photos/captions are so hard for me to format on this platform!  See above: not tech-savvy.)  Anyway....here's what I've learned through personal trial and error about "production values":

1.  Backlighting: Not good.
2.  Off-center with lots of busy mess in the background: Not good.
3.  Teeny tiny head with vast expanse of ceiling:  Not good.
4.  Giantess fingers adjusting the screen/settings:  Not good.
5.  Giantess body with disappearing head: Not good.
6.  Face in shadow; slumped, bored, not even trying to look interested or animated or glad to see us:  Not good.
7.  And now....head shot, center screen, pretty good lighting, not a lot going on in the background (well, we can see it's Easter).  Marked down for less than great grooming and plastered on fake smile; but hey, it's progress, right?

DISCLAIMER:  On the other hand, letting go of all pretense in this time of life or death might be a good lesson; getting to see how people REALLY look, and live, is a glimpse into deeper intimacy, isn't it?  Hmmmm....maybe my thoughts are evolving into a new blog post....

At least, that's the (Zoom) view from here...©