But today, things are looking up! I went to my doctor appointment this afternoon, an Internist I've never met who is relatively new to the clinic I go to. Mentioning this upcoming appointment to some friends over breakfast last Friday we traded stories about how we of a certain age have begun to feel ignored and dismissed, with providers spending the minimum time with us, on things only marginaly related to our actual ailments (that social welfare checklist and to resuscitate or not) and often rudely at that. I decided, "Nope! Not gonna happen again!"
I sat down early this morning and wrote a three page letter to this new doctor introducing myself, my expectations of our health care partnership, listing the things I wanted to address at our appointment and my preferences around health care philosophy. I was clear, concise, assertive, friendly, funny. I hand-delivered it 3 hours prior to my appointment with only about a 10% expectation that she'd get it and read it before I was sitting in the exam room.Turns out she got it AND read it AND genuinely appreciated it! We were able to zero in quickly on both my physical and mental health issues and create TOGETHER a plan that has me jazzed and hopeful!
My physical issues are real, not emergent, and most importantly not my fault. I have hereditary factors that are causing some cardiovascular risk factors to creep up with age and I have agreed to a medication that will help mitigate these. My mental health issues are real and not my fault -- again heredity plays a role when we sat and reviewed family history, going back a couple of generations. I am not going on meds, but will seek a therapist who specializes in Mindfulness Cognitive Therapies for anxiety and depression. There is a plan! Yay! Feeling hopeful.
Other observations: Apparently is it no longer necessary for a doctor to actually touch one's body. At my last two doctor visits I did not disrobe. My doctors did not touch me or look at my naked body or even pay much attention to listening to my heart. Blood pressure and pulse, that's it. Alive and upright? She's fine!
This is surprising to me, but good news in one way. I sort of dress up to go to the doctor -- a throwback to a different age, apparently, as I looked around the waiting room at the sweat pants, dirty jeans, team jerseys, and scuffed, dirty, weird footwear. I take a shower, do my hair, smear on some make-up and put on nice clothes. This has often felt like a wasted effort since in the olden days the first thing we were asked to do was to don a gown. But today, my doc and I got to discuss fashion and my cute jacket. It was sort of a "Hey, girlfriend! Lookin' good! How ya feelin'?" exam.
Whatever....I feel better. And this whole therapy thing is likely to be great blog fodder!
At least, that's the view from here... ©
Sounds like a great way to start out a new relationship with a doctor. I can see my internist appreciating a letter, even after seeing him so many times. He asks a ton of questions about mental attitude and activities. How clever you are to do that! It must be a great feeling to know you are both on the same page.
ReplyDeleteYes, I was sort of thinking she might hate my assertiveness -- I had heard she was sort of gruff, but nothing could have been further from the truth. I found her to be friendly, down-to-earth and very compassionate, while also being decisive and offering a well-reasoned path forward. Big relief!
DeleteI am so happy you are "taking steps forward" or sideways or upside down, keeping going, sometimes, matters almost as much as stopping-for-a-minute does. I love that you are taking multiple directions - so often what we discover is that staying the course one way doesn't work for everyone. (as a side note let me remind you that 1) your brother just died and 2) you are in the midst of a personal life-change regarding church and friends and 3) going back to volunteer at a place where love might be there but laughter might not.
ReplyDeleteHugs and more hugs.
That doctor chemistry thing is so very real. I see the same Internist and love her attentive listening and respectful collaboration on treatment.
ReplyDeleteFROM AN EMAIL: Your skill with the written word is exceptional! You capture beautifully so many
ReplyDeletenear universal elements of life’s emotions and,...........bring them alive!
For true, I think about many of your topics long after the reading.
Again, thanks for sharing! I love & enjoy great writing!
A Big Fan