All of that is so far behind me now, that not remembering every detail is expected. But much of it is coming back to me. Remember that little baby granddaughter's birth I wrote about in February? Well, she's growing, healthy, strong, cute, sweet....and today is 4 days shy of 3 months old!
Also, my Granny Nanny stint is in full swing. I just finished my third week of baby care, three days a week. Hub is on board too, but as timing would have it, he's had work conflicts galore with his part-time "just filling in" gig and I've been on my own...a very familiar pattern.
I had forgotten how all-consuming an infant is! Bottle, diaper, playtime, nap, fuss, settle, repeat. Oh...and walk the floor, juggle and jostle, sing and coo, change clothes, rock, dance, look in the mirror, survey the garden, take a stroller stroll.... Our ten hour days together are ten hours of non-stop baby, Wednesday through Friday!
Plus, I know I might be a tad overly attentive. She prefers to nap on my lap. I prefer to let her. She sleeps longer and more soundly and I get to gaze at her perfect little face as she rests so cozily in my arms. Just like every other gushing grandma, I'm in love.
I also notice, my "other" life goes into hiatus on the days my Jewel is here. We are cocooned, so far, in our own little world. I haven't ventured out and about with her, still learning her habits and routines. So, truth be told, I'm feeling a bit ambivalent about that. The altered state, the Twilight Zone of stay-at-home Mommy-ness is a familiar quandary. I love that the days spread before us with no real obligations, yet there is a sense of isolation too. What DID I do in that other life? Where did my friends go? I was always meeting someone, doing something, going somewhere, and now, well, not so much. And even on my "off" days, it's hard to switch gears out of the loving heart space and physical care of being with baby into the skill set needed to organize and facilitate a task or committee or group discussion.
We will find our rhythm, I know, and she will join my friends and me at coffee or maybe at a meeting for one thing or another. I'll get back out there and able to be more integrated. But just like when my sons were little, the real priority won't be "out there" so much on Jewel-days, but "in here" -- in the circle of love and care that I have the privilege to provide for her.
I never expected this. I am so grateful. And tonight.....well, I'm tired.
At least, that's the view from here....©
Once a Momma, always a Momma. So easy to fall back into the routine with little grandbabes that we had with our babes--only, more relaxed and it seems, so much more precious. You are so lucky to have this time with her!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great and loving post! It's got to be such a wonderful relationship between a grandmother and a grandchild. I see it in the glow of my two nieces as they find their way back to dealing with the new babies in our family. And I read it between the lines in your blog. One of them is like you, hands on child care on a weekly basis and the other one just had her first overnighter with the baby. The mother of one of these babies post photos on Facebook practically by the hour and while it's fun to see them it worries me. And I heard a great joke about that, how my generation hunts for and treasure that ONE photo we find our our great-grandfather and future generations with have them by the thousands.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing the stuff babies need. I don't remember babies having that much gear when my nieces and nephew were young. Babies are so much more portable now, though, and that will help when you decide the time is right for you to venture out with your little gem. Do it soon so you don't have time to build up a fear in your mind. Great. I probably just put that thought in your mind that wasn't there before. LOL
I post occasional pix on FB, but not too many. It makes me a bit nervous too, plus too many is just obnoxious. And you are right about the number of photos we can take and keep these days. It's overwhelming. But I like weeding out the bad ones on the spot instead of waiting for them to return from the developer. :)
DeleteYes, I will venture out soon. It doesn't take much for me to cave into my fear default. Now that I can warm her bottle when we are out, I'm confident we will do fine. But as new baby stuff goes, let me just say her infant carseat weighs close to 5 pounds empty -- add her 13 or so lbs and growing by the day and it's a heavy and awkward item to load in and out of the car! And don't get me started on lugging it up and down the stairs at my house (garage is down) or her sister's daycare! Oy!
Anticipating my first day with her, I was a bit anxious. I haven't spent any one-on-one time with babies since mine were little. My other granddaughter came to us at 10 months old with her mom, when my son brought them into our lives and I didn't have her all to myself until she was well over a year old. But as you say, Judy, it all came back to me in short order. I can hold a baby in one arm and pretty much do anything else that needs doing with the other!
ReplyDeleteI wish my "aunting" skills would come back to me. I can't seem to figure out how to interact with the new babies in my family without scaring them.
DeleteBabies are so fickle; you never know what sort of reaction they will have at any given moment or with whom. Most of them cry the minute they are placed in my arms, although now that never happens with my granddaughter anymore. I have been watching how my daughter-in-law interacts with my her and try to emulate that. She is very calm and soft-spoken, very smiley and very matter of fact. Nothing rattles her. So I consciously take deep calming breaths, relax my muscles, and smile sweetly. So far so good.
DeleteWhat a great tip! My school teacher niece is just like your daughter-in-law. I can't wait to try the calm, soft-spoken and smiley approach.
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