RITUAL TIES THAT BIND

DD Minus 11.  That's "due date" -- 11 days from today on March 4th.   My beautiful DIL is about to give birth to another baby girl and we are all so excited to meet her!

I was thinking back this morning to when we first met Son One's girlfriend.  In his usual way, often leaving out a pertinent detail, he asked nearly 5 years ago if we'd like to meet the girl he'd been dating "for awhile".  Well, sure!  When she pulled up in front of the house I saw her get out from behind the wheel of her car and....go the the back seat, open the door, and emerge again with a 10-month-old little girl on her hip!  Yep.  Just like that my heart was stolen by our Angel, who is now almost 5-1/2 and is the center of attention at every family gathering.  But soon the spotlight will shine just as brightly on her little sister, about to make her debut.

In preparation for this upcoming new granddaughter, I may have pushed a new idea on to Beautiful DIL, but she graciously went along with it.  I hosted a "Mother Blessing/Baby Shower" for her a month ago.  The truth is, I was more excited to introduce the idea of "mother blessing" than throw a traditional baby shower.  Been there, done that.  But thankfully Son-Two's girlfriend had talked to Beautiful DIL and let me know that some traditional baby shower activities would be most appreciated.  (Son Two also often has to rein in my, what he calls, "hippie tendencies".  Whatever.)

So between us we did a combo.  I started with the Mother Blessing and had all the guests introduce themselves with a maternal lineage naming... "My name is Susie, daughter of Ellen, granddaughter of Kathryn, great-granddaughter of Rose..."  Isn't that cool???  I was surprised and a little saddened at how few even knew their great-grandmother's names.  (I guess our legacy lasts basically two generations.)  We each told how we know Beautiful DIL and named a characteristic of hers we admire.  How often have a dozen of your friends sat in a circle and said what they love about you?  It was a warm and moving tribute.


I had slips of paper where guests wrote "Words of Wisdom" to sustain her in difficult times and they went into an oversized plastic baby bottle I had found as a shower decoration.   We also tied brightly colored threads around a "Friendship Candle" to send home with DIL to burn when she needed to feel our presence.

Each guest also brought items to put in the big basket labeled "Mommy Survival Kit" -- lotions, gift certificates, Tylenol, books, magazines, candy, etc.

We did a "Web of Support" ritual where we tossed a big ball of yarn back and forth across the room, each guest wrapping a strand or two around her wrist to connect us all in the 'web', then cutting the ties, but wearing the yarn bracelet in solidarity until the baby comes.  (I think I'm the only one still wearing the yarn bracelet.   I take these things very seriously. :)  )

When the guests left they were given a small votive to light when DIL goes into labor.

I just loved all that!!!

I also loved the cute game Son Two's GF led us in playing at the baby shower part of the afternoon -- naming all the things that go into a diaper bag and having to remember in order what everyone else had named before adding your own item.  I failed miserably at the memory test.  Then Beautiful DIL opened her gifts.  She was delighted with every item and I was amazed at how generous everyone was and how baby equipment has changed in 30 years!

Son Two's GF handled all the food and drink, for which I was most grateful -- not my thing -- and the biggest hit was the display of cake pops she and Son Two had made!

Ritual and celebration are so much a part of our family life that I take it for granted.  But I am reminded often that what we do so routinely is not the norm for many.  I am grateful that Hub and I have created these ritual ties that bind and that they are appreciated by our sons and their partners.

Maybe "Mother Blessings" will become one of those rituals that are repeated from now on.  I hope so.  It would make my Hippie Heart happy.

At least, that's the view from here.... ©