Christmas season was quite a struggle for me this year. My family and friends must have tired of my grousing and groaning and rolling my eyes and outright being negative with me singing my many and varied melodies of "I hate Christmas". My decorating, cooking, and gift buying was minimal. I sent out our Christmas letter, finally, on Christmas Eve -- a "Happy New Year" greeting as it turned out. I missed my mom a lot. I derided the expectations, traditions, and commercialism of the whole thing. I resented having to play along, when I just wanted to ignore the whole event. Bah Humbug, indeed.
Then came Christmas Eve. My family took up a whole row at the candlelight service at my beloved Unitarian Universalist Fellowship -- me no doubt beaming with pride and also noticing how all of us grandmas were looking around at extended families gathered and saw we were ALL beaming with pride. It touched my heart.
Then we all came home for our traditional Christmas Eve buffet, gathered in our living room which is under-populated the rest of the year, but becomes Christmas Central for a few days of winter when the fireplace is lit, candles burn, the tree is vibrant with color and Manheim Steamroller Christmas music serenades the scene. Angel wrote her letter to Santa, we all exchanged gifts with Son-Two's girlfriend, who wouldn't be with us on Christmas, we talked and talked about Son-One and DIL's new baby, due in March, who would be part of our family next Christmas. I felt all warm and fuzzy.
In the afternoon, the gang gathered again. Son One and his family brought cookies and fudge and spiced cider and bags of gifts and one excited little Angel who had had herself a fine Christmas morning at home playing with her Santa toys. We all took turns unloading our stockings and opening gifts and I noted the thoughtfulness that went into each one -- the perfect gift for the person receiving it, obviously sought and purchased or made with pride and love.
Dinner, puzzles, books, assembly of the new bird feeding station, several games of darts on the new dart board, conversation, games, crafts…. How is it that I forget, or can't appreciate, that these are practically "Rockwellian" tableaus being played out right here in my house? Why do I think it should all be even more perfect? Even more jolly or festive or, I don't know, entertaining somehow?
Note to self: Next year just shut up about hating Christmas and have a little faith. It will all be more than OK. It will be perfect, just as it is.
At least, that's the view from here… ©
Yup, make a notation in your day planner on the day after Thanksgiving to re-read this post as a reminder that all the craziness, in the end, will be worth it.
ReplyDeleteOne time there was a rebellion against the commercialization of Christmas in my family---money was tight, kids were in college, my brother was in the middle of a divorce, etc. So we made a rule that no one could spend over $1.50 per gift. It could be handmade, a written poem or essay, a promise in the form of coupons for chores, a re-gift of something you knew someone else lusted after---so long as the actually cash spent totaled no more than $1.50, It was the best Christmas ever. When it came time to reveal our gifts it was easy to see the love and thoughtfulness that went into each one and reading what everyone wrote was so heart warming. None of us spent over $20 total for 13 gifts that year. My mom died the following Easter and our Christmas' fell apart after that without her house to act as the hub of activity. Man, I should have blogged about this! I need to make my own notation on my day planner for the day after Thanksgiving.
I love that gifting idea, Jean. There were years when our boys were both in college, with little money to spend, when we didn't really exchange gifts -- we bought a new board game and played, cooked together, went to movies….it was fun. Last year I got everyone gifts, but also made a card for each with a rose quartz heart enclosed and a handwritten message of what I appreciated about each recipient and how much I love them. It's one of the best gifts I've ever given…in my mind at least.
DeleteYou hate Christmas and had a marvelous one.
ReplyDeleteI love Christmas and had a bummer of one.
Next year, I will say "I hate Christmas" and maybe the fates will give me a good one, just to piss me off?
Oh, sorry to hear that, Judy! I think it all boils down to "managing our expectations", as a friend often reminds me. I've managed to let go of most of my fantasy expectations of things, but I do a big back-slide for Christmas. Maybe instead of "hating" or "loving" we can just practice "accepting what is". :)
DeleteFrom a Facebook post: thank you for your insightful words.....hurried & rushed was my mantra for this season, one I found myself repeating way too much as I tried to tend to all the bus-work & home tasks. So, as the wheel turns towards the light, I took a breath on Christmas Eve, relaxed, and let it flow, let go ... waited for our beloved daughters and husband to arrive home. Like you, I felt my spirit lift as we celebrated, infused by the joyful balm of family, love, peace....
ReplyDeleteOur lead up to Christmas was disorganized and last minute with everything, but I felt less stressed than when I try to do too much.I hope I have more time to do things in a relaxing manner next year, but when it comes down to it, what counts the most is the family I spend the day with, and the love surrounding us.
DeletePost Christmas Report: 7 grandkids - ALL sick (one with pneumonia). Thus Christmas was "on the flexible-fly" but it worked. We had one set of family at our place and mingling with the other set - then we switched and they slept elsewhere and mingled with us. Yet - we had time to laugh, true helping of one another, a birthday celebration (!) and changing of airplane flights and waiting in Urgent Care plus pharmacies. Yet, we still love each other. We still spent time (they were sick and we weren't so...we all helped out) and I remembered how having children is a gift that requires much effort. And we are each/all looking forward to the NEW YEAR! My youngest and I even went to "The Christmas Story" at the 5th Avenue. We had lovely present exchanges. And a couple of dinners in and one dinner out. More than anything in the world - I love this family!
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