ACCEPTANCE, RELEASE, AND SURRENDER

I had a tough time at Yoga today.  No, it wasn't Shoulder Stand Day, or Headstand Day, Stay in Plank for an Hour Day, or doing that crazy Half Moon pose I wrote about previously (1/2/14 post)…

Mostly we just lay there today, not doing much of anything except practicing "acceptance, release, and surrender".  Like I said, tough stuff.

I'm sure there are some who love these "restorative" classes.  I'm not generally one of them.  For some reason the less I am called upon to do, the harder it is.  I have a hard time finding comfort and ease in these poses of relaxation.  My head sort of hurts from resting it on the floor, my back sort of hurts from draping myself back over a bolster, my hips sort of hurt from putting the soles of my feet together, knees bent, splayed on the floor in Supine Goddess pose or Supported Frog pose.

Give me a class where I am challenged to be strong, to be in perfect alignment, to find my "edge", to balance on one toe… something to DO!  This hit me about 2/3 of the way through the class today because I realized I'd been impatient for the first 30 minutes, which was restorative, then relieved and happy for next 30 minutes of more active flow poses, and rather grumpy at the start of the last 30 minutes of more restorative poses.

But, when my always wise and funny teacher continued repeating the "acceptance, release, surrender" mantra as she guided us in the last simple, restorative poses, I suddenly felt tears sting my eyes.  I thought about all the things in my life that I describe as "work" -- I "work" on a draft of a poem, I do "yard work" and "housework" and I "work" on my relationships.  I do personal growth "work" and committee "work".  I "work out".   Before I retired, I used to get up every morning and "go to work".  Can you relate?

When we describe almost every aspect of our lives as "work", no wonder it's a little hard to get to release.  No wonder acceptance feels like giving up.  No wonder surrender sounds like defeat.

As is always true, even the simplest lessons can be hard won.  Breathing helps.  Awareness helps.  The "a-ha" moment, when it comes, is its own feeling of release -- release from the bonds of habit into the wisdom of self-knowledge and the ability to change what no longer serves.

I'm going to focus on changing my language, seeing where I can replace the word "work" with some other word that describes the activity in a positive way -- the word "create" comes to mind.  To me being creative means being in the flow of something larger than myself that I can only access through surrendering my Ego to the moment, to the greatest good, to the unknown.  In that moment, space is opened to be restored to health, vitality, and grace.

Again, Yoga is my teacher.

At least, that's the view from here…. ©