SO JOIN US HERE EACH WEEK MY FRIENDS, YOU'RE SURE TO GET A SMILE...

Aloha!  When I started this blog a little over a year ago, some of my first posts were from Kaua'i -- our annual respite from the Northwest drizzle.  We're back.

When we first started coming here 14 years ago, there were no cruise ships docking in Nawiliwili Bay. Then after a time, we noticed that Thursdays saw the dawn arrival of a huge ship and the swarm of "boat people", with their blue and white striped Norwegian Cruise Line towels, spread body-to-sweating-body upon "our" Kalapaki Beach.

 I don't begrudge anyone the pleasure of this sweet little beach.  But the operative word here is little.  It's just a crescent of sand on a small bay.  So all those extra people made me a feel a bit crowded in.  They seemed to have no qualms about spreading those towels out about 3 feet from my lounge chair.  We took to leaving for other parts of the island on Thursdays.

But for the past 2-3 years, there is no escape.  One of these behemoths arrives nearly every morning with the sunrise, making their "Kaua'i" stop on the Hawaiian Island cruise itinerary.  The shore tour buses caravan to the dock, picking up full loads of passengers to ferry to the many wondrous locales of the Garden Isle:  Wiamea Canyon (the "Grand Canyon" of Kaua'i); Hanalei (of Puff the Magic Dragon fame); Spouting Horn (the island's very own "Old Faithful"); Coconut Marketplace (tourist mall)...on and on.

But some people don't hop on the party buses. (We've heard group sing-alongs as they drive by -- oh such good cheer!)  Instead they make their way on shuttles or by foot (a couple miles) to Kalapaki Bay beach.  My beach.  Nearly every day.

We still stake out our palm-shaded lounge chairs early in the morning, an introvert's distance away from other people, and settle in for a day of ... nothing much.  But we know now to expect that we will soon be sharing space with cruisers of various stripe. (We've discovered the parts of the beach that are relatively less populous, so our quiet is usually fairly preserved, but still....).

I have written before about my anti-cruise bias.  I have never been on a cruise ship, which naturally makes me uniquely qualified to have a strong opinion.  I don't need to clutter my mind with facts based on actual experience.

So, here are my thoughts, based on my annual observations:

1.  I'm really, really delighted that cruise ships are ADA and senior-friendly.  Judging by the number of geriatric and variously-abled folks I see rolling and shuffling down the bricked walking path along the beach, I am grateful for them (and impressed, really) that they and their canes, walkers, and wheelchairs must be so well accommodated by cruise ships.  I truly admire these folks, really.  I think traveling is a pain in the butt even when strong and mobile.

2.  I am also INCREDIBLY happy that the cruise lines are doing something about the American obesity epidemic!   To presumably be hosting an enormous number of contestants on what must be "Biggest Loser" cruises, these ships offer a chance for folks to, you know, get in shape.  I believe the motto must be: "MORE VOLLEYBALL!!!  LESS BUFFET!!!"  At least, that's what I'm hoping, cuz there really is an over-representation of, well, "heavy-set" folk plopping down next to my chair.  I do admire their lack of body-image-shame.  Who says bikinis and speedos are just for the svelte?   (Also they have no fear of the sun -- the redder the better!)

3.  Carnival really is the "party line"!  Oh my!  Large groups of 20-30-somethings with nothing but beer and cigarettes to consume on shore day sure looks like capital "F" Fun!  Lots of laughter!  Lots of horseplay!  A little public amorous adventuring!  You can sleep when you are dead!  Party on!  (Carnival hardly ever stops here -- Kaua'i is far too tame for that crowd).

4.  Cruises are a boon to the resort wear industry.   Island cruise = new wardrobe!  Red, white, blue! Stripes!  Stripes! Stripes! Nautical!  Tropical!  Impossibly white tennis shoes!  Rhinestone-studded ball caps!  Home team logo T's!  Gaudy florals!!!  Inspiring!

5.  I get an international relations education.  Lots of different languages and customs abound.  Like just the other day, I watched as a foursome, speaking a language I did not recognize, spread out a dozen feet from me.  An attractive enough young man, wearing perfectly sensible board shorts, stood flexing and preening for a few moments, then reached toward his waistline, untied his shorts and let them descend to his ankles, exposing a most skimpy and REVEALING Speedo!  Emblazoned across his behind were the letters SRBIJA.  Smartphone at the ready, I did a quick Google search and discovered the origin of this mysterious language and predilection for an unusual display of national pride -- Serbia!  Da!

So, all in all, I guess the cruise lines are doing good in the world.  They are veritable floating cities, a cross-section of peoples and cultures and inter-generational good times.   We are the world!  We are the people!  But for some reason, I am still not convinced I'd be a happy cruiser.

I looked up the cost of one of these Hawaiian Island cruises -- about $2300 for 10 days.  I guess it's a good enough deal, if your idea of fun is sharing a floating barge of non-stop stimulation and distraction in the middle of the ocean with 2000-3000 people you don't know, won't meet, and many of whom you don't care to know anyway, with occasional stops for dash-about sightseeing (at extra cost), then back up the gangplank for another jaunt to more of the same....

Everyone has a price.  If it costs $2300 to buy a spot on one of these voyages, I might accept $5000 to agree to go.

At least, that's the view from here....©