It is June-uary Eve (almost) and the hints at summer that we had in early May have been drowned out by the seemingly nearly non-stop rains of the past couple of weeks. Oh, it is amazingly green and the rhodies are putting on a show of color that is breathtaking. And everything is growing crazy fast (grass, weeds, vines...) But it is WET. And chilly (60-degrees on a warm day). It's still sweater and socks weather...as it usually is in June. When it is SUMMER everywhere else! This makes me nuts.
Son-Two just got back from a long weekend with his cousins at their sunny Sedona home. He posted many photos on Facebook of them partying on their patio, floating in their pool... Maybe that made me colder and grumpier.
Also I have a sports injury. Hub and I went on a 4-mile "urban nature walk" last Friday. My plantar fasciitis flare-up necessitated getting some supportive insoles for my shoes, so I stuck them in my hiking boots, thinking I was being oh so conscientious about caring for my feet. The insoles took up too much space and I ended up with nickel-sized blisters on the TIPS of both of my big toes! Finally, on Monday, Hub lanced them to relieve the pressure. So, now they are bandaged and so sore I can barely tolerate socks, let alone shoes.
The news is also overwhelming me. Wars and rumors of wars. Chemical fertilizers poisoning our food supply. Violent weather patterns causing enormous tornadoes, hurricanes, droughts. People shooting each other with stunning regularity. Short-sighted, anti-intellectual, ideologue politicians blocking any attempt at progressive legislation. Child abuse -- some asshate put his infant daughter in the freezer because she wouldn't stop crying, then he fell asleep! (She was found by her mother an hour later, cold, but alive). I could go on and on. It's too much to take in sometimes.
This is a bummer post. But my promise is to be honest. And honestly, sometimes grousing for a minute helps.
We used to do an exercise in my women's group called "Poor me!"where we named every frustration, irritation, and bad thing in our lives, large and small, and after each, said, "Poor me!" Sometimes tears would flow as we acknowledged a truly rough patch of life; sometimes after a bit of "poor-me'ing", laughter would erupt as we realized it was all pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things. I guess this is a "poor me" kind of morning.
So, now I'm gonna plug in some Magical Strings, read a bit of Billy Collins, sip a cup of Madagascar Vanilla Rooibos, and look forward to lunch with friends. Poor, poor pitiful me!
At least that's the view from here....©
Ivy,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. It's all relative. There's a wonderful documentary titled, Happy. I recommend it to everyone, even though it had no effect on me. :-) (Irony?)
I have put off responding because 1) I have, in my life, been seriously depressed and 2) I vacillate between being completely grateful I am alive and feeling completely guilty that I exist. I know that feeling is irrational and also is not a useful emotion so I try to do what I can to get past/beyond it - I walk, I cook, I find things to love, I hug my family I say, aloud, "thank you for my life, let me be useful" and then...in a matter of days I am able to go on. I don't know if it is cloudy weather, heavy air, or guilt that I am alive and probably, only because of luck, that I live in a country that is rich with possibilities. I think of my children and my grandchildren and I soldier on and the, like sun through clouds, I am okay again.
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