Fall is a beautiful time of year. My favorite, really. Crisp, cool nights. Bright, sunny days. Memories of back-to-school activities -- new clothes, sharpened pencils, high school football games, Homecoming floats......And the strange and quaint ritual of TP'ing each other's houses. This is what passed for edgy fun in my girlfriend circles in the late 60's in northern Illinois.
It's Friday night. The plan is made. We raid our linen closets of several rolls of toilet paper, gather at one of the girls' houses with our stash, and decide who would "get it" tonight! Then we pile into a car, drive to the victim's residence, surreptitiously parking a block or so away (so sneaky!), and make our Ninja-like approach. Taking up various posts, rolls of TP in hand, we proceed to decorate bushes, shrubs, sidewalks, and porches with flowing rivers of tissue. For the piece de resistance, we fling entire rolls into the air, allowing streamers of TP to hook around tall tree branches, the roll falling to the ground, to be flung again, over and over, until the trees shimmered with streamers of white. Then barely unable to contain our naughty glee, we race back to the car and speed away. Laughing hysterically or dramatically recalling the thrill of almost getting caught when Mrs. Jones stood up from her recliner and walked across the living room and glanced out the window! Oh my!
My TP skirmishes are very different these days. They revolve around the "nearly empty roll". I've become convinced that there is some strategy employed in ensuring the user before me will NOT be the one to put on a new roll of paper on the holder. How is it possible that they could take care of their business and leave about 6 squares still on the roll? Really? Had just enough -- didn't need even a teensy bit more? I feel there is a conspiracy afoot that guarantees I am the one who changes the rolls of toilet paper. I have 3 bathrooms in my home. No matter which one I use, it seems I'm there just in time to change the roll. This also used to happen at work -- two restrooms -- two nearly empty rolls when I got there. (And recently even at my Yoga studio!) It's just weird.
I'm thinking a little payback may be in store. I'm experienced at this. So watch out all you leavers of empty rolls -- I've got a stash and I know where you sleep! I'm justified.
At least, that's the view from here....©
From an Email: Of course, TP is always mom's responsibility. There are rules about that somewhere!
ReplyDeleteAs for TP: Didn't you know that it has ALWAYS been mother's job? Somehow the rolls reduce and stretch to leave the job to you.
ReplyDelete