Anyway....the dream was probably prompted by my reading, again, the Rolling Stone interview with the President in the May 10th edition. There Barack was, on the cover of Rolling Stone, looking all handsome and debonair and ready to say smart words and demonstrate his sweet self-deprecating sense of humor, all of which is an aphrodisiac to me. So, I enjoyed re-reading it before the recycle bin claimed the copy.
I also thumbed through the other stories, which were as depressing as the Obama interview was inspiring.
"Gregg Allman's Memoirs" was mostly a recitation of the events leading to fame, chaos, drug abuse, heroin addiction, jail time, hepatitis C and a liver transplant, death of his brother and, of course, life with Cher.
"Remembering Levon Helm", the renowned drummer/singer of The Band, traced the history of the band including Helm's own descent into herion addiction ("a part of the scene and part of the era" -- as if that is an excuse).
"Boozin' and Cruisin' with...Eric Church" delves into the angry, defiant, violent and hard-drinking lifestyle of "country's rowdiest star".
Then we have Floyd "Money" Mayweather Jr., a young boxer living the high-life story we've heard a million times of a kid coming out of an impoverished childhood to find a version of fame and fortune in the boxing ring, at least when he isn't in jail for domestic assault against his girlfriend.
I came away from this foray, at least in this issue, into a male-dominated story selection that left me feeling sort of sick and sad. Really? Drugs, violence, sexism? It's enough to drive me back to drink too.
Well.....not really. Today is my one year anniversary of not drinking alcohol. If anything, these stories of waste and wantonness only solidify my newfound commitment to sobriety. The drinking, drugging life ain't pretty.
I was never really a flat-out drunk. My recreational drug use (abandoned for good over 30 years ago) was relatively tame. But I did surely enjoy my daily dose of Chardonnay. And an occasional cigarette, even after I "quit smoking" in 1982.
Two events caused me to quit the smokes and the wine. My brother, a smoker, was diagnosed with bladder cancer in late 2010. When he called with the news and after I hung up from talking to him, tears still flowing, I vowed to myself to never have another cigarette. They killed my dad with emphysema and were now wrecking havoc on my brother. And how could I even justify my very occasional foray into a pack of Virginia Slims by calling it "party time"? I only smoked when I was feeling rowdy and carefree. Yes, by all means, let's party down by not being able to breathe! DUH!
The drinking was harder because I liked it a lot more and did it more often. Daily. In the evening over dinner, to relax and socialize with friends, to celebrate a special occasion...it's so much a part of our culture that once I stopped, most people were not quite sure what to do with me. Sure, I'd given up wine, but "Does that mean Vodka too?" I was asked. Or "We could go to Happy Hour, but you aren't drinking"...because I guess a soft drink and an appetizer make me less fun to be with? I started to bring my own club soda or tonic water to have with a lime when we went to friends' homes. There was a certain look of concern, panic, or uncomfortableness until people got used to the fact that "Ivy isn't drinking."
I'm sure some who knew me less well assumed there was AA involvement. But no. Actually, I'd had a few bouts of unexplained (and completely unrelated to any alcohol consumption) syncope -- fainting. It was weird and sort of terrifying to have this come out of the blue and wake up to find paramedics standing over me. All the tests in the medical world revealed no specific cause so, of course, I took to the Internet to find a diagnosis. I came up empty but found a whole bunch of conversational streams populated by others who also have "unexplained syncope" and at least some recommended no alcohol consumption. That was enough for me. I was ready to do anything to make the episodes stop.
I had my last drink on July 31, 2011. I haven't fainted since then, but absolutely no one credits my being "on the wagon" for that. It would be hard to sort out all of the variables. I've also started to eat better, exercise, meditate, lose weight, and stay hydrated. I also noticed I liked not drinking. I didn't miss it (OK, a couple of times I was tempted) and now I rarely even think of it.
So when Barack and I go out again, we may stop for a FroYo Swirl and I may lament the carbs involved, but driving won't be a problem. And if there's ever a story about me in Rolling Stone, it will outline the ways in which I have left nearly all my vices behind and become the Saint of Clean Living. I'm sure that issue will sell out in no time.
At least, that's the view from here....©
"Gregg Allman's Memoirs" was mostly a recitation of the events leading to fame, chaos, drug abuse, heroin addiction, jail time, hepatitis C and a liver transplant, death of his brother and, of course, life with Cher.
"Remembering Levon Helm", the renowned drummer/singer of The Band, traced the history of the band including Helm's own descent into herion addiction ("a part of the scene and part of the era" -- as if that is an excuse).
"Boozin' and Cruisin' with...Eric Church" delves into the angry, defiant, violent and hard-drinking lifestyle of "country's rowdiest star".
Then we have Floyd "Money" Mayweather Jr., a young boxer living the high-life story we've heard a million times of a kid coming out of an impoverished childhood to find a version of fame and fortune in the boxing ring, at least when he isn't in jail for domestic assault against his girlfriend.
I came away from this foray, at least in this issue, into a male-dominated story selection that left me feeling sort of sick and sad. Really? Drugs, violence, sexism? It's enough to drive me back to drink too.
Well.....not really. Today is my one year anniversary of not drinking alcohol. If anything, these stories of waste and wantonness only solidify my newfound commitment to sobriety. The drinking, drugging life ain't pretty.
I was never really a flat-out drunk. My recreational drug use (abandoned for good over 30 years ago) was relatively tame. But I did surely enjoy my daily dose of Chardonnay. And an occasional cigarette, even after I "quit smoking" in 1982.
Two events caused me to quit the smokes and the wine. My brother, a smoker, was diagnosed with bladder cancer in late 2010. When he called with the news and after I hung up from talking to him, tears still flowing, I vowed to myself to never have another cigarette. They killed my dad with emphysema and were now wrecking havoc on my brother. And how could I even justify my very occasional foray into a pack of Virginia Slims by calling it "party time"? I only smoked when I was feeling rowdy and carefree. Yes, by all means, let's party down by not being able to breathe! DUH!
The drinking was harder because I liked it a lot more and did it more often. Daily. In the evening over dinner, to relax and socialize with friends, to celebrate a special occasion...it's so much a part of our culture that once I stopped, most people were not quite sure what to do with me. Sure, I'd given up wine, but "Does that mean Vodka too?" I was asked. Or "We could go to Happy Hour, but you aren't drinking"...because I guess a soft drink and an appetizer make me less fun to be with? I started to bring my own club soda or tonic water to have with a lime when we went to friends' homes. There was a certain look of concern, panic, or uncomfortableness until people got used to the fact that "Ivy isn't drinking."
I'm sure some who knew me less well assumed there was AA involvement. But no. Actually, I'd had a few bouts of unexplained (and completely unrelated to any alcohol consumption) syncope -- fainting. It was weird and sort of terrifying to have this come out of the blue and wake up to find paramedics standing over me. All the tests in the medical world revealed no specific cause so, of course, I took to the Internet to find a diagnosis. I came up empty but found a whole bunch of conversational streams populated by others who also have "unexplained syncope" and at least some recommended no alcohol consumption. That was enough for me. I was ready to do anything to make the episodes stop.
I had my last drink on July 31, 2011. I haven't fainted since then, but absolutely no one credits my being "on the wagon" for that. It would be hard to sort out all of the variables. I've also started to eat better, exercise, meditate, lose weight, and stay hydrated. I also noticed I liked not drinking. I didn't miss it (OK, a couple of times I was tempted) and now I rarely even think of it.
So when Barack and I go out again, we may stop for a FroYo Swirl and I may lament the carbs involved, but driving won't be a problem. And if there's ever a story about me in Rolling Stone, it will outline the ways in which I have left nearly all my vices behind and become the Saint of Clean Living. I'm sure that issue will sell out in no time.
At least, that's the view from here....©
It is always interesting to see how our friends, family, and acquaintences respond to the pleats and tweaks we make in our lives. And, to be fair, it is always bemusing/puzzling when someone we know changes a behavior that, somehow, we tack onto our perceptions or understanding of them. Whether you begin to be vegan or cease being a social-drinker, the world has to figure out how to respond. Good for you for stopping the smokes...good for you for trying out new ways of living...simply this, good for you.
ReplyDelete