BRAIN CHIP AT WORK

Last time I wrote I lamented that brain fog and low energy was keeping me from fully mentally engaging in my life.  I think it's still here.  Days of the week run together,  each day is over in a flash, months fly by at hyper-speed.  I think part of the problem is the task Hub and I have set for ourselves this summer -- tackling the long and rather overwhelming "to do" list of major, long-procrastinated household and garden projects while still trying to carve out personal time, activist time, and increasingly, social time.

Let's talk social time.  I swore that post-Covid Times I would not go back to a calendar full of socializing.  And, in fact, I have not.  But even the addition of 2 or 3 things a week is feeling like a lot.  I've had several coffee dates with friends; my weekly breakfast with my bestie has resumed (although she and I agreed last time to reign that back in to maybe every 3 weeks and resume our lengthy phone conversations in between); our large friend group is resuming our monthly potluck and topic discussion; Hub's monthly Men's group is meeting in person again -- this week at our house, so that impacted me since I stay away during their sharing time (it's confidential); we see family, of course, although not as often as in the Before Times, but we went to a 4th of July party at Son One's house and Son Two and Lovely DIL brought us dinner this week....  Anyway, I've got stuff going on now and frankly it's a bit disorienting.   But how long will this last?  It feels, also, like a brief moment in time...

Because,  it happens that the Covid 19 pandemic did not 'disappear like magic'.  Locally numbers are on the rise for hospitalizations and deaths; vaccine breakthroughs are being documented.  Nationally the numbers are even worse with the CDC director yesterday proclaiming we have a "pandemic of the unvaccinated".  Which, I admit, royally pisses me off!  "Vaccine hesitancy" is a thing we hear about daily, and I guess I have some compassion for the many folks who are nervous about needles,  have heard things  that trouble them and are not sure, or who still don't have easy access to getting the vaccine (this mostly in poor, rural areas of the country).  

But it's the "vaccine refusal" people who gall me -- the ones who still think it's all a 'hoax' (600,000 people in the U.S. have died!!!); the conspiracy theorists who believe the vaccine is full of evil that will do any number of horrific things to our bodies and society and with the vaccine something is being implanted on purpose by some nefarious governmental enemy; the ones who are politically opposed seeing vaccination for Covid as a Commie Libtard Conspiracy and the Deep State taking over their pathetic little lives.  (Looking at the maps on the nightly news, one sees the sea of Red Republican-controlled states as those with the highest Covid numbers and extremely low vaccination rates; our state, thankfully is Blue and 70% vaccinated).

The problem, of course, is not just they can do as they please and the consequence falls only on their own shoulders.  The problem is that as the virus is allowed to spread, it mutates.  It adapts.  It keeps growing and changing to invade with more contagion and doing more damage more quickly.  And when we vaccinated rub elbows (or shop at Costco) with the unvaccinated, the virus smacks up against our immunized bodies and starts to make inroads into bypassing our revved up immune systems and gets a foothold.  We might not (yet) get as sick; we might avoid the hospital, or even death, but how long until that is no longer the case?  We are all threatened just because millions of people refuse a life-saving shot in the arm.  It's nuts.

The country is fully "open" now with no restrictions on masks (mostly) or gatherings -- life back to "normal" (more on that in a different post).  The unvaccinated are still supposed to mask, but they never did so what are the chances they will follow that polite ask? Yesterday the CDC recommended even the vaccinated should go back to wearing masks indoors in public, remembering to physically distance.  L.A. county has re-instituted a masking policy for all.

I've never stopped wearing a mask indoors in public (groceries, etc).  I've been to a couple of coffee shops maskless, but I've felt weird about it.  I returned to my beloved yoga studio for one in-person class and 2/3 of the way through got a bit panic-y.  Our friend group met in person, outdoors, no hugging.  We are all back to being a wee bit cautious after a brief post-vaccine time of hopeful abandon.  (Plus, regular sickness has returned -- I know people with bad colds and puke-y "flu" and I don't want to catch those either!)

I didn't intend this to be yet another Covid post, but that's where my foggy brain went anyway.  I guess living in a pandemic, for me a life-altering experience, is still taking up some brain cells.  Or maybe the Deep State has implanted a Covid-focused chip that will forever be thinking of and reacting to this historic worldwide disaster.  We'll see.

At least, that's the view from here...©

Photo Credit:  Map appeared in Fortune Magazine 7.2.21

THE HONESTY OF CHILDREN: A LESSON

I don't write much about my granddaughters.  It's not that I'm not a typical proud, smitten grandma; it's just that when grandparents go on and on and on and on....well, it's like back in the day when my dad used to get the slide projector out to once again show pictures of that trip to Colorado in the Chevy -- it gets old after awhile to sit through the narration.

But today I am moved to write about the girls because I miss them (they are out of town on a family vacation this week) and because I had an "a-ha" from each of them at Easter brunch.

Our youngest is 3 years old now.  Already.  Yes, the time has flown by.  I looked back at the post I did when she was born.  It seems like yesterday.  We cared for her 3 days a week for the first year and a half of her life, then 2 days a week for another year.  Then she moved into full time childcare/preschool.  It was both a relief and a grief.  Those intense 10 hour days of childcare bonded us and exhausted us.  But regardless of how easy or challenging the days, she was a fact of life for Hub and me and we will always cherish that time of getting to know her, to love her, to give her all of our attention and care while she was with us from infancy through toddlerhood.

Her older sister is now 8 years old and there is a huge difference between 7 and 8, I realize.  Suddenly she seems to be already on the cusp  of those "tween years" in some ways.  She's a math whiz, loves art, loves her gymnastics class, has joined a Brownie troop, has lots of friends, listens to modern pop music, and has a pretty sophisticated sense of humor.  And she's also still a little girl in many ways.  She loves to come to our house and hang out with us -- it's finding time for her in our/her busy life to arrange that which can be challenging.  I try to appreciate every single minute with her because  in a blink of an eye her friends will be more important than her family and hanging out with grandma will take a backseat.

Watching the girls grow up is the same as when I watched my sons grow up.  It's a bittersweet experience.

So here are the lessons I learned "out of the mouths of babes" at Easter dinner.  Plates were full and first bites being taken, when the youngest took a bite of her cheesy egg loaf and declared "I don't like it," and put her portion on her mother's plate, before diving into her fruit salad.   We all sort of chuckled, but I also marveled.  How many times have you politely suffered through eating something you really didn't like?  Wouldn't be refreshing to just say, "I'm sorry; I don't care for this dish; guess it doesn't work with my palate, but I'd love to double up on salad!"  Wouldn't it be great if that honesty was accepted and not taken in offense?

Later, as we complemented my daughter-in-law for her fresh and tasty fruit salad,  our 8 y/o granddaughter quietly said, "I helped make it."  She sits next to me and I think I'm the only one who heard her,  so I thanked her for helping.  Conversation continued about the salad, when she said a little louder, "I washed all the fruit!"  And a couple others at the table thanked her.  Then she announced, "Nobody is thanking me for helping!"  Her dad pointed out that, yes, we did thank her, to which she replied, "But not Grandpa, or _____ or ______", calling out those she had not heard from.   They immediately thanked her, of course, as her parents admonished her for this moment of egotism.  But again, like with her sister's honesty, I was rather proud of her.  She didn't feel adequately recognized for her contribution.  Wouldn't it be nice if it was OK to ask for what we need emotionally?  To say, "I'm really needing some recognition right now; will you give me some kudos for how hard I've worked...for my contribution?"

Naturally we adults will socialize the abruptness out of both of the girls; it's part of learning and growing and operating in polite society, which is important.  But I hope we never socialize them to squelch their voices. I hope we don't teach them to just go along; to make them feel their needs are unimportant.  Giving voice to what's true for them just might result in adults who are honest; who know how to politely and assertively ask for what they need; to avoid resentments.  Wouldn't it be nice to communicate honestly and effectively and really be heard?

I think so.

At least, that's the view from here...©