I had the dream again last night. The one where I am in my house (sometimes it looks like my actual house and sometimes it doesn't, but it's "mine" just the same) and suddenly I come upon rooms I never knew existed. The house seems to go on and on, one room after another, previously hidden from me, but now perfectly obvious as I wander through this maze of discovery of what was apparently there all along!Naturally I "googled" this dream imagery and discovered it is very common and generally indicates the dreamer is on a journey of new discovery. The reaction to finding these "hidden" rooms tells much about the dreamer's state of mind regarding this journey. Afraid? Excited? Opening those new doors? Or slamming them shut?
My reaction inside the dream is one of excited delight, of anticipation, and even desire for there to be more and more rooms. This is a good thing...I am ready for growth and anticipation with the realization that I am discovering strengths, skills and abilities I have within me. I am opening to realizing my greater potential!!! Wow! The dream last night seemed to focus on huge wide hallways leading to these new rooms. Hallways symbolize self-exploration and a new path in life, a journey into the unknown, a transitional phase, a spiritual enlightenment. Wow again!
Because in "real life" (that is, when I'm awake), I am very aware of being in a transitional phase, of being on a spiritual journey, of taking a path into the unknown....and sometimes it scares me. Often I say I don't recognize myself anymore...or my life...I feel off-kilter and a bit panicked much of the time. I feel a sense of dread and overwhelm. This is not new, I guess. I have always been a worrier and have gazed at the half-empty cup at every age and stage, questioning what is coming next and assuming it will be worse than what has come before...or at least that I will be unequal to the task before me. I have done considerable "inner work" on overcoming these irrational fears, but it still seems to be my default response to change.
Conversely, my other "real life" (when I'm asleep) is seeking to assure me that all is well and, in fact, it's pretty great. Retirement, kids grown up, a few minor health issues, increasing wrinkles and gray hair, and a new and sometimes confusing study of Buddhism and Insight Meditation do not foretell of disaster. In fact, what my subconscious is telling me is that this is a time of excitement and growth: I am on a path of self-realization, "hidden" potential is about to be revealed, spiritual growth and awakening are mine to behold.
All I have to do is believe it when I'm awake.
At least, that's the view from here...©
