I write now at 7 a.m. watching the sky get bright in spite of a cloudy sunrise that includes glimpses of promising blue sky peeking through. I have a load of wash in and a to-do list at hand. As pre-trip prep goes, this one has been easy. I'm sure I'm forgetting something very, very important; just not sure yet what that is...
So, first let me retract that last post. I know there are some who think if you put something "out to the Universe", it will manifest. I have flirted with that philosophy, but I have trust issues, so I'm never really optimistic that the Universe will serve up what I order. That said...
My last post about busy adult children and how they seem not to have time for 'lil 'ol Mom? Well, no sooner had I hit publish than I heard from Son Two with an invitation to lunch when he is in town for an upcoming appointment. One of the grandgirls asked if I'd take her to the library to get a book about Eliza Hamilton and have a fro-yo after at the new shop at the waterfront. Son One delivered his power washer to our house within 20 minutes of Hub requesting to borrow it. Son One and DIL invited us to dinner at their house while her parents are visiting from out of state so we could all visit together. And when they all came to our house for Easter, she made a beeline to me with a hug and an "I love you" as she came in the door.
Of course you will assume they read the blog post and took the hint. No. They do not read my blog. They never ask about it, don't have a link to it, and they are not notified when it is published. This was all the Universe's doing. So, about that post? Well my adult 'children' are still busy and I might feel a wee bit marginalized at times, but I have to admit my family is actually pretty great. I'm practicing "radical acceptance" of what is true, not what I want to be true. And right now that feels good enough.
Onward to something not so good. It seems the guy that other people elected president is veering into a crazy town that continues to endanger us all. His expletive-laden Easter message about blowing up Iran was a bit of a shock. Today he said if Iran doesn't capitulate to his demands by 8:00 tonight, "their whole civilization will die tonight"; basically threatening to blow them up. This is not normal. But then we haven't had "normal" in one day of his two presidencies and it takes a toll. Every day is a new horror such that him saying things like this are so commonplace that we may be shocked but not surprised and no one spontaneously takes to the streets to demand he be stopped. Republicans control the Congress whose job it is to reign in out of control presidents, but they either support his rantings or remain silent in spite of Democrats sounding the alarms, but the Dems in the minority are pretty helpless to do anything meaningful. So we are left with holding our collective breath.
I have tried not to look at "news" early in the morning, but with his threat deadline approaching, I wanted to check in with anything that may have occurred overnight. What I found was a community of Insomniacs all feeling as I do -- afraid, enraged, stressed, helpless, stunned that we are living this nightmare of national collapse of our norms and values with a president threatening war crimes. His Secretary of Defense has fired the military leaders who might have tried to stop this, so they have their own lackeys in place for the big standoff. It's insane. Or it's just another bluff. The Insomniacs don't know and neither do I. Chaos, cruelty, and corruption are the order of the day. Of every day. Comments made in Threads were actually helpful to feel not so alone with the anxiety.
Which is why the Insomniacs are also looking for relief. Concurrent with this national war dance, we have four brave, bright, charismatic astronauts (3 men, 1 woman) circling the moon for the first time since the Apollo launches that ended in 1972 with our last visit there. I almost missed it. The whole lead-up to the space launch was buried in politics (at least in my alogarithm). But off they went and are now up there live-streaming to earth some amazing photography and uplifting messages of peace and unity while they do their science stuff.
We may be even more attuned to their flight since a Hollywood blockbuster has actually brought people into theaters the last few weeks to see 'Project Hail Mary' based on a book of the same name that Hub and I just finished reading. (Hub has not read a novel in decades!) The movie stars the charming Ryan Gosling, so that's a plus, but the story is what is keeping people talking -- a spaceship traveling far, far away to try to save the earth from a dying sun. I won't do a movie review here (have not seen it yet), but I think the whole cultural phenomenon of this book/movie is resonating because we are so collectively desperate for something good and positive in our lives. And dare I say, hopeful? Maybe we have to "leave earth" with our noses in a sci fi book, sit in a dark theater, or keep our eyes glued to NASA on YouTube streaming from space to find it, but there we are. Cheering for the good guys.
Tonight we fly into the belly of the beast -- a red eye to Washington D.C. where tomorrow, bleary-eyed and jet-lagged we will walk the National Mall with our 11-year-old granddaughter who is coming along with us. We will talk about the American democracy that has been the envy of the world and take pictures in front of national monuments and buildings where power is wielded for good or ill. We will drive south to Williamsburg VA for a week of American history where our grandgirl, obsessed with "Hamilton", will live out her Schuyler Sister fantasies before we return home next week.
Our little patch of earth is a mess right now. But taking the long view out, it is a beautiful planet where good people do good things, the cycles of evil run their course, and families come together when and how they can in love and connection.
It's hard to hold so many conflicting feelings at once -- fear, anger, sadness, shock, love, joy, hope, gratitude. But hold them we must. And we must find each other for support and camaraderie. I see you Insomniacs. I am you.
At least, that's the view from here...©
It must be a hard adjustment for parents to accept that their adult children really are busy and do the best they can to stay in touch. Whenever I feel down about not seeing my nieces often enough, I remember my own mom wanting to see more of me and me not making the time because I was "too busy." I wish I could have a few do-overs but that's life.
ReplyDeleteI loved the book Hail Mary but I heard the movie doesn't live up to it. The ending to it was especially poignant.
As for 45/47 he scars the pants off me but more scary than that crazy old man is the fact that the Republicans are doing something to rein him in or push him out of office.
The Republicans own ALL responsibility for not stopping him. And the constituents of those Republicans for not putting pressure on them until they actually feel it. I simply don't believe everyone who voted for him can still support what is happening. Some do. But so many people are just tuned out and pay no attention to the consequences of elections.
DeleteI'm going to see the movie because I love Ryan Gosling but I'm never as happy with adapted movies from books; they lose so much detail. Plus, we've already formed our own "visuals" from reading. I guess movie-makers will never be able to compete with that -- every reader has their own created "movie" in their minds.