Denial. When I realized I was falling, feet first, body supine, down the stairs. "No! No! No! No! No!"
Shock. When halfway down I realized I couldn't stop myself. "SHIT! Shit! Shit! Shit!"
Fear. When I realized this was not a good thing and I was in danger of real damage. "Don't break, don't break, don't break, please don't break anything!"
When I landed at the bottom of the stairs, Hub huddled over me, assessing my condition, I basically responded to the accident with my typical shock and trauma mode of crying and shaking and going into full-on anxiety over what had happened, what could have happened, what might still happen.
Then I took some deep breaths. I realized I was really sore, really shaken, but also still whole. Nothing broken; no concussion; I could move and stand and talk and even chuckle at the absurdity of this lapse in mindfulness. I was reminded, again, of how one tiny slip-up in being attentive can result in an outcome of epically terrible proportions.
I had gone up to bed on Thanksgiving night when I remembered I'd adjusted the thermostat down to accommodate a hot kitchen full of people. I wanted to re-set it, so I thought I'd just quickly run down and do that....not thinking of my slippery socks on the hardwood staircase. I normally am religious about wearing soft-soled indoor shoes that grip the floor. Not this time. It only took one slip and down I went....all the way down...hitting each of the 14 steps with my right rib area, thigh, knee, and somehow jamming two fingers (which immediately turned purple!)
Hub said I looked like a log going down a flume run on Skid Road. I felt like I was on a toboggan run...with no toboggan. I think I heard myself scream at one point -- but not in joyful exhilaration.
I write now, three days later, still tender and bruised. My knee is a little "glitchy" and I'm hoping nothing was torn on the inside. Hub doesn't think so and he's sort of expert at knee stuff both professionally and personally, so I'm believing him. Tylenol and Aleve have been my friends and I'm still so grateful not to have been injured more severely.
Also bruised, though, is my Ego. I pride myself on my balance and flexibility from years of yoga practice. I can probably be a bit insufferable about crediting yoga for everything good in my life, especially physically. Hub thinks I should still credit it for the "muscle memory" of balance causing my body to fall in a way that resulted in minimal damage. I could just as easily have completely lost balance and tumbled head over heels; I quake at the damage that might have ensued from that scenario!
But I am also humbled. I have a home full of stairs. I have always known we are one accident, injury, or illness away from not being able to easily navigate this house. Sometimes I use the stairs as a workout opportunity, eschewing the handrail going up the stairs to ensure I'm not pulling up with my arms instead of using my quads to keep my forward momentum. I typically use the rail going down, but not always, and definitely not when I'm carrying those bins of holiday decorations from the attic down to the living room. Duh!
I'll be much more mindful from here on out. Believe me, I've had a death grip on that handrail. And my soft-soled inside boot/slippers are always on my feet when I'm navigating the stairway.
It was a wake-up call that accidents happen in a split second. There is really no margin for error when it comes to carelessness. My concern is whether I have to report this at my annual Medicare physical when they do that whole "Fall Assessment" thing. I really don't think this was an aging issue. It was a stocking feet issue; a hardwood floor issue; a Karma issue...
Earlier in the day our almost 3 year old granddaughter had gotten her feet tangled in the Princess dress she refuses to take off (going on 2 months now) and tumbled down a few of our carpeted stairs. She was so funny when she popped up and said, "I wolled and wolled!" She wasn't hurt at all, so my laughter wasn't really cruel. I just thought it was funny how she said it (the r's sounding like w's). I was NOT laughing when I took my own tumble -- until much later when I asked Hub, "Did I woll and woll?"
Karma is a bitch.
At least, that's the view from her.©
I can't believe how incredibly lucky you are not to have gotten hurt anymore than you were. And your immediate reaction was the normal reaction any sane person would have. I'd probably still be crying two days later.
ReplyDeleteI vote that you don't tell your doctor for your Medicare exam because he'd probably put it down to age related that you forgot to put on your gripper shoes. When I fell two years ago and broke my wrist I tripped over my own foot which I've been doing for decades because of the way I walk, but he still got all concerned that I needed some tests I knew I didn't need. I didn't pass out and I knew it just like you know what you did wrong.
You are so right, Jean, about whether age or other factors play into falls. I remember being in my teens and 20's and must have had "weak ankles" or something, but there were times when my ankle turned and down I went for no apparent reason. No one told me then that I was "getting old"! Certainly there are afflictions that can cumulatively be somewhat age-related, but this fall (and the other you mentioned with the laundry basket) were pure carelessness, which can happen to anyone. I am going to give some thought to what is "age-related" in various areas, however, because I am so tired of people chalking up human error and foible to age at a certain point. I think that is blatant ageism. That said, I am not in denial about changes that occur with growing older. Just don't blame everything on that prematurely, I say.
ReplyDeleteI still remember falling down the stairs at my grandparents: the aunts and uncles still laugh about it. Even at age 3 the loss of control was what I remember and not the rolling or bouncing. I am so glad your hub knows how to check everything out and I am sad you are sore but so happy you are unbroken. Statistically, more falls happen after 65 and four times THAT after 75. Take care. Barefoot or grippers and maybe time to carpet the steps? Hugs and don't be afraid to ask for help.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you are ok! How frightening to tumble down all of those stairs!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Sandy! It was scary and I'm so grateful I wasn't seriously injured. I admit I'm a bit slower going down the stairs since the fall, but I still love the work out potential -- sometimes I just do the stairs to get my heart rate up. Home gym! :)
DeleteGrateful for non-major-injury fall. 💜
ReplyDelete