I would never, ever wear earplugs to bed. There is just so much I have to be aware of 24/7. Those babies back in the day were Job-One of course, but also sick kids, sneaky teenagers, dog needing to go out, the occasional car driving by (suspicious! we live on a quiet street! there is NO reason for a car to have to drive by!), distant thunder, wind through the branches, house creaks (why, oh why?), bad guys breaking in.... You know the usual dead-of-night stuff one must be aware of.
But even with his earplugs in, at least I can shake him awake if I have an auditory concern and say, "Did you hear that?!?" (No, of course he didn't!) It's when he's not here that the problem arises. My little bitty anxiety disorder kicks in and my hearing becomes like that of the Greater Wax Moth -- galleria mellonella. (The animal world's best hearer; I looked it up.) I hear everything, some of it real.
I tell myself the neighborhood is no scarier in the dark than in the light of day and I know that to be true, intellectually! But my reptilian brain wants me to be on high alert because sometime in the distant evolutionary past they didn't have home security systems that connect directly into the police department. But that is of only limited reassurance, because my hyperactive Worry Wart Amygdala decides to perseverate on the fact that the alarm might go off and then what?!? That would be super scary! Let's get scared in anticipation of the scare just so we're super ready to be scared! (See what I mean about the little bitty anxiety disorder? This is the kind of game it likes to play.)
I try to calm myself with the knowledge that the woman down the street is, if not older, at least slower than I and she seems very confident living alone. I'm not sure what her issue is, but for awhile she had a walker and now doesn't -- I'm thinking some sort of joint replacement surgery -- but I'm still more fleet of foot. I know she too has an alarm system, but when she described it to me, I got alarm system envy because she has cameras apparently mounted everywhere, like Fort Knox or Alcatraz. I know those are old and maybe closed down places (yes to Alcatraz; no to Ft. Knox -- I looked it up) that probably don't have cameras so much as barbed wire, but there might be zoning violation about barbed wire in my neighborhood, I don't know. Anyway, that many cameras could be cool to monitor. I bet I might catch the critter who is eating all my bush beans! My gardener friends are thinking either deer or rabbits are stalking my raised beds under cover of darkness and with the right infrared camera I'd nail them cold! I digress.
Fortunately Hub doesn't go away that often and as already mentioned, he's pretty useless to me even when he's here with those earplugs in and his sleepy-making allergy medicine onboard. He has an alarm clock that gets progressively louder the longer it beeps. There are times it's at full volume before he rouses. And there was the one time our burglar alarm really did go off (triggered by someone opening a door before disarming the system), the siren screaming at one million decibels and he didn't hear it!
How can someone purposely make themselves deaf in the dark of night. That's just wrong. I say, "All senses! Take your battle stations! It's 2 a.m. and we have a job to do!"
At least, that's the view from here...©
I wore ear plugs when Don was alive. First he snored so loud I couldn't sleep, then his bi-pap machine kept me awake. But I can't wear them now that I'm alone because, like you, I want to hear noises...if someone is messing with the house which no one ever has. The dog is a good alarm system. If I'm ever attacked by rabbits or birds, he's on them. People not so much.
ReplyDeleteWhen Don was alive I could have gotten murdered two feet away from him and he wouldn't wake up. When he was single he literally had a factory break bell wired up to a timer as an alarm and the neighbors would hear it and beat on his window to wake him up.
Fear is a terrible thing if we let take over our lives, but normal evaluations of what could happen makes us take precautions---locking our doors, not taking midnight walks in high crime areas---and that's a good thing.
I have been having WiFi issues, which is why there was a delay posting comments here.
DeleteI've tried wearing earplugs on many occasions but they keep popping out or I get the feeling I'm locked in a barrel or something. I guess I just have to put up with the ambient noise of nighttime and the occasional anxiety that goes along with hearing the things that go bump in the night.
I am not sure that this addressed your blog's subject matter but...that said, let me say that I, too, have a "routine" that helps me doze off - I do sudoku/crossword puzzle - sometimes only a line/number/question or two - and sometimes, because I am tired, I solve it incorrectly. But putting down the puzzle, the pen and turning off the light becomes a habit which usually leads directly into sleep. If hubby has done earplugs for decades, perhaps it is a holdover from his residency days? Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteGenerally I fall asleep immediately. No routine needed. Sometimes though I do the 3:00 a.m. wake up that lasts the rest of the night. When I'm home alone, I don't think any routine would override my "boogieman" anxiety...I just breathe and meditate my way through it and by the 3rd restless night I'm so exhausted I sleep like a baby. LOL
DeleteSleep is such an individual thing. My father snored like a chain saw and my mother slept through it for decades! Fortunately, my own sweetie smrffs but doesn't snore and he assures me I am a heavy breather but no snores. As for no sleep-nights, I have one a month and have for my whole life. As the years pass, I find I rely on my routines (in so many areas) to make it through all the changes that come up. Hugs to you - sorry about the boogieman-anxiety. Sounds just awful!
Delete