The month is nearly half over and people are asking me why I'm not posting to this blog.
I've been too busy with a big project that is taking all my energy.
Also, I'm battling the occasional bout of depression, so when I'm not pretending to be perky, I'm mostly staring out the window like some reclusive scary woman in disheveled clothing, wearing no make up, and sporting wild hair that could stand to be washed and brushed.
Plus, no one wants to read whiny, "poor me" self-obsessed drivel. I don't even want to write it.
Truth.
At least, that's the view from here...
Hey, I don't mind reading "whiny, 'poor me' self-obsessed drivel" when it comes from the heart. We are multifaceted people who can't be perky all the time. Often times if helps to write when you're in those moods. But do what you've got to do to set your world right again. (Staring out the window included.) Just know what you're feeling is a normal reaction to all the changes going on around you. Once you figure out what you want to put in your empty nest, the world will slowly turn technicolor again from the drabness of today.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've learned after all these years of falling into these occasional funks...it's temporary and it can lift just a quickly as it descends sometimes. Thanks, Jean.
DeleteJean R. is wise. A speaking of WISE - thank you for the last meeting we had. I found it powerful and connecting. On a note, more related to your sadness (and I am not sure you would characterize Depression and Sadness) but that is, in my experience, part of the process of being completely human. It can allow for rest, for self reflection, for examination of self and others. Or it can be simply waiting. Thank you for the strength it takes to share the "non-perky" parts.
ReplyDeleteOur WISE group always surprises me. I was completely unsure if that would be a topic of interest and it turned out everyone had something to say! Yes...to the rest and reflect part of this funk. I took some time Wednesday to do that and feel the fog lifting....
DeleteBlogs can be places to put our personal ponderings--at least mine is. I love whiny, poor-me because it shows me I'm not alone in those sometimes feelings. Perky is too fake to me.
ReplyDeleteI have to be perky in certain settings right now, Judy, and I can do it w/out being "fake" because there are several "me's" I can call forth to see me through various situations. I think we all do that. But I know that I'll need lots of recovery time afterward and my "social introvert" nature hasn't had enough of that down time lately, so I'm a little depleted. I do lots of rambling pondering self-analysis in my personal journal. Some of that ends up here in the blog, hoping people can relate.
DeleteWe can and we do relate. Hang in there.
Delete