THINGS I LEARNED ON MY SUMMER VACATION, PART 1

HEY YA, HI YA!  I'm home from my Alaskan Cruise Adventure!  I am no longer a cruise virgin; I am one of "them", the hoards of mostly 50-60+somethings who disembark enmass in the early morning hours lining up for their motor coach, minivan, bus, train, hiking, biking, boating, flying "shore excursions".  In spite of my attempts to NOT look like a cruise tourist, there was no denying my too-new hiking boots (but PURPLE!  So CUTE!), my tell-tale backpack (but  31 years old and pretty beat up; I've taken it on every trip I've ever taken since 1983) and my look of confusion and gullibility.  (Sure…I guess I need a new Made in Alaska coffee mug filled with chocolate caribou "chips".)

Here's what I can tell you about my cruise experience:  Those ships are enormous and luxurious.  The Celebrity Millennium is a floating 5-star resort, with 2000 guests and 1000 staff.  We were greeted onboard with champagne, mimosas, and fresh squeezed orange juice…and it was pretty much like that the whole time.  The food was amazing, prepared and presented like you'd find at the best fine dining restaurant; the decor was glamorous; the activities and amenities plentiful and varied; our veranda stateroom was essentially a large bedroom with a sitting area and a balcony and was super comfortable (I want that cushy mattress!);  the service was impeccable.

Interestingly, the attention to clean hands bordered on OCD.  ("There will be NO norovirus outbreak on our ship!")  Purell has a sweet deal with its cruise line contracts.  Your little purse-sized bottle is a drop in the bucket compared to the ubiquitous self-dispensing Purell machines at every stairway, elevator, restaurant, bar, and boarding location on a cruise ship.  My hands have never been so disinfected; I believe I could have performed surgery.

Yes, I do see the appeal of this form of luxurious transportation.  For, to me, that's what it was.  My hotel was taking me to the places I wanted to visit.  It was weird to leave one port of call, have a little dinner, see a show, then go to bed and wake up berthed in a new town.  I felt like a kid who sleeps through the road trip.  It was a bit disorienting.  In addition, I feel like I missed some of the scenery reputed to be so beautiful on the Inside Passage route.  I was asleep!

On our land excursions, which had to be scheduled according to when the "hotel" was setting sail, I felt I only scratched the surface of each place we visited.  It was a quick look-around (several hours, but time went fast), snap a bunch of photos, and back on the ship.  Go, go, go.

I saved time, however, by not being the type of woman who likes expensive fine jewelry.  At every single port of call, the "tourist shops" are lined up for blocks  immediately in front of the cruise ship docks.  And the first line of shops are jewelry stores.  We were stumped by this…why would Ketchikan, Alaska be the sapphire and diamond capital of North America?  Well, come to find out…the cruise ships and jewelry stores have a little thing going.  I had heard that the cruise lines actually OWN these stores, then that was disputed, so I'm not sure.  But the cruise lines certainly promote the stores and I've read they receive huge kick-backs on sales as well as collect hefty advertising dollars by recommending stores in the daily onboard circulars that are delivered to our stateroom doors the night before we arrive at the next port of call.  Maybe you can get a deal; I don't know.  But the cruise lines are making a tidy little profit from this strange jewelry concession.

(Speaking of owning things…did you know that Carnival Corporation owns Carnival Cruise Lines, Holland American Cruise Lines, Princess Cruise Lines and a bunch of European cruise lines as well as shore excursion companies, hotel franchises, etc.?  And maybe some jewelry stores…)

I know you are wondering if I got seasick, since that was my biggest fear (even bigger than looking like a stereotypical cruise ship tourist).  No…not really.  But maybe a little.  We had perfect weather, so seas were mostly calm.  As seas go.  The Inside Passage, being protected from the open ocean was generally smooth as glass.  But about 12 hours after first setting sail, at 4 a.m., we went through a narrow passage that included howling winds and swirling currents that bounced us around a bit.  My anxiety soared, so I put on my scopolamine patch and popped half a Xanax.  All was well, except I slept on and off most of the next day.  We were "at sea" making our way from Vancouver to Ketchikan, so at least I didn't miss any stops in my stupor.  The other day "at sea" was at the end of the trip when we left Skagway and headed across the Gulf of Alaska (south of which is the North Pacific Ocean, so really just a lot of big water) to Seward.  It wasn't terrible for most people probably, but when that much water is pushing toward shore in big swells, your boat is gonna rock and roll a bit.  So, I hit the meds again, and stayed mostly in my stateroom trying to keep my eye on the horizon and not move around too much.  I tried to join my companions at dinner, but left after the appetizer, feeling queasy.  I was happy to be at the dock in Seward when I woke up the next morning, even if it was raining (our only day of rain).

So, would I cruise again?  There is no denying that the beautifully appointed ship, the "how may I serve you?" staff, so many fun and interesting things to see and do are a feast for the senses.  Yet, me being me, I really liked just being alone and quiet in my stateroom and on my private veranda too.

I didn't take advantage of many of the ship's attractive offerings -- never used the spa (I decided not to spend the extra money for a massage I could get cheaper at home), the gym, the bars (since I don't drink), the pool, the library, the on-board gift/jewelry/Apple store shopping, the casino, the late-night games and festivities.  Many of these would have been fun, but I was either off ship during the day or eating/sleeping with not much "free" time.   As for the amazing food selections, I was anxious about feeling seasick, so I didn't eat all that much and the choices I made were rather bland -- so I lost 2 pounds on the trip.  (That's a good thing, but far from typical, I know.)  I tired of being on a schedule for meals and sailing times.  I did fine with my wardrobe of "smart casual" clothing for the restaurants, but it felt dressed up to me and I was much more comfortable in my shore duds -- hiking boots, comfy Yoga pants, and a sweater.   I felt like I had to pack too much to create the necessary outfits, which I guess means I must dress mostly like a slob at home in my weird "get-ups".

I think ultimately I'm a little bit of a reclusive, nausea-phobic hypochondriac, sloppy-casual landlubber who likes spending a longer time in one place, on my own schedule.  (But I'm still lovable, right?)

Mostly I'm happy to have shared the experience with Hub and our friends.  I was leery about traveling with other people since my inner Introvert needs a lot of recovery time after extended socializing.  But we gave each other enough space to have separate experiences as well as having  a lot of fun shared times.  Every day I looked forward to our dinners together.  We laughed so much, especially when things went awry, and will have memories to share over the coming years that are priceless to me.  And that made the whole cruise worth it.  I feel closer and more connected to our friends... and any activity that contributes to meaningful, lasting relationships is one that is worth doing.

At least, that's the view from here…. ©

STAY TUNED FOR MORE VACATION REPORTS:  Bus from Hell, Denali Tour,  Favorite Sites, Arctic Olympics!