HERE COMES THE BRIDE?

Weddings are a curious phenomenon.  I'm not a big fan.  Give me a smiling bride in a simple dress with some lace on it, a groom not wearing jeans, a small bouquet, a friendly and optimistic officiant, immediate family and the closest of close friends gathered in a vacuumed living room, or weeded garden, and maybe one or more musician friends playing instruments or singing a song; afterwards, a little party that someone else plans.  Done.

But the Wedding Industry frowns on such simplicity.  The W.I. wants you to attend a Wedding Show at a huge convention center and be inundated with:  Invitation Designs, Venue Options, Gown Choices, Catering Samples, Photographers and Videographers, Florists, Wedding Planners, Limo Services, Honeymoon Hotel and Travel Destinations, Cake Concoctions, Tux Rentals, Musicians, DJ's, Decorating Ideas, Wedding Favors, Attendants Gifts,  Dance Lessons.... I'm sure I'm leaving something out.  But you get the idea.  "Simple" it's not, if you want a "wedding to remember."

Our family is in the throes of wedding planning.  Son One and Future DIL are a little over 6 weeks away from the Big Day.  It started out simple enough....and as these things go, it's still relatively low-key.  But it HAS snowballed just a tad.  Early ideas for venue were a picnic shelter or a tent in our side yard.  We now have a rented "venue" on the waterfront with an amazing view and a sound system and a kitchen for the caterers.  What started out as "pizza and beer" for the reception is now salmon and baron of beef.   We are, however, sticking with Farmer's Market flowers (making our own centerpieces and bouquets), friends doing the photography and wedding cake (both pros, thankfully), and an I-Pod playlist instead of a DJ or a band.  There's been some stressing over decorations and set up issues for changing from the ceremony to the reception, seating arrangements, and some consternation over who will cue the music and announce the various transitions of events.

But. There will be a beautiful bride in a knock-out gown, the most handsome groom ever, and undoubtedly the most precious flower girl to ever walk a wedding aisle, our Angel.  There will be some family and friends, although it remains to be seen how many -- RSVPs are slow to arrive, so there is some tension now about that (see previous post on July 29).  Yet, when all is said and done it will surely be a lovely evening.

And there will be reviews.  Here's what I'm learning:  everybody has an opinion about weddings.  I have heard from various people completely conflicting, strongly held ideas about:  bridesmaid's dresses (most are reviled),  decorations, types of flowers, whether children should attend or not, host or no-host bar, length of ceremony, seating arrangements, music, bring a gift or have it sent from the store to the bride's home, gifts themselves -- like or dislike what the bride and groom registered for, cake flavors, sit down dinner or buffet, menu selection, and how to do "the send off".    

I hate to be sexist here, but most of these very opinionated comments have been from women.  One man asked me if he had to wear a suit and if there would be bourbon.  That is the sole male commentary so far.  When I mentioned to Hub last night that between now and the wedding there would be a lot to attend to, he said, "Like what?"

Well, OK.  I guess it is not really non-stop activity, but there is a lot that needs to happen and my feeling is that we need to do more than sit on the sidelines.  Future DIL's parents live in Hawaii so we are "it" in terms of on-site parental support.  We are (mostly) retired and the bride and groom work full time and then some on side jobs and  home projects.  I know there is an arbor to build, some table decorations to assemble, bouquets to make, follow ups on RSVPs to do, seating arrangements to figure out, a dress alteration (to cover the 'it's too scratchy' waistline on Angel's dress), meetings with the cake baker and caterer, help make wedding favors, plan a rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, get the house "company ready" for guests and gatherings, and whatever else I can't recall or foresee right now.   (What happened to beer and pizza in a tent?)

I have been losing sleep, but then I tend to perseverate.  The bride and groom are totally chill about it yet.  "It will all work out" is their mantra.  And seeing them so happy and excited really is part of the joy for me.  So I'm trying to focus on that, except for those 3 a.m. awakenings when I am wondering if the mics will work and if the sunset will create a problem for the photographer and if the right music will play at the right time and whether will I trip out of my new shoes during the Mother-Son dance (for which I refused lessons -- will I regret that?  Oh dear.)  "It will all work out...."

At least, that's the (OK, a little stressed at the moment) view from here...©.