So, my BFF (and loyal blog reader/supporter) told me she looked back in this blog's archives. (NOTE: Remember --there is now a subject index you can use to find posts related to various subjects (top left corner of any blog page; at least it shows up on my computer -- but not on my phone and I don't know why; different formatting for "mobile" sites? I will never really understand this tech stuff...)Anyhow...she went back in the archives and re-read some posts from last December and told me I really struggled with the holidays last year. I haven't re-read them, but I believe her. I struggle every year. I both love and loathe this season of "joy", which is so often false, manufactured, forced, and too damn hard to sustain. I have fleeting moments of joy. The rest is a lot of work.
So this year I am determined to drop the quest for perfection, the almost OCD drive to create "holiday magic" for my family, and just "chill". I may go all the way to ... dare I say it? Selfish! I might actually sit down and decide what I want!
Decorating: Hub put up some outdoor lights and garlands yesterday, but cut way back since squirrels decimated our lighting extravaganza last year (ate through the cords and ruined a King's Ransom in strings of lights!) We hung a pretty wreath at the front door, which I love. I have agreed to a Christmas tree. I'm thinking that might be the extent of my decorating. Hauling all those bins out of the attic and setting out a bunch of red/green/gold/silver hoo-hahs all over the house feels like a "should" and I already dread putting it all away. I think I'll go out and cut some greens and holly and stick a votive amongst the foliage and call it good. I might buy a poinsettia.
Gifting: The granddaughters will make out just fine. I'm focusing on educational, artistic, bookish gifts, but for our Angel I'd better throw in a Disney Princess of some kind. The baby seems delighted with a set of measuring spoons. Tee Hee. The adults -- always a bit of a quandary, but have a few things stashed away in the attic and have a few more ideas. It will be fine, except I wish all those years ago when I made big stockings to hang by the fireplace with care that I'd used a smaller pattern. Filling those up is a challenge!
Cooking/Baking: I suck at both of these and dread the very idea. But I've been on Pinterest and have some new ideas for our Christmas Eve buffet so we'll see if I actually pull that off. Christmas dinner is pretty easy -- ham for the fam and a bean burger for me. Not gonna bake. Will welcome any gifts of baked goods from friends and family. (Hint!)
Music: I love Christmas music! I grew up sharing TV Christmases with Andy Williams, Dean Martin, Lawrence Welk.... I just love those old renditions of holiday music and Christmas carols. I've got it dialed in on the music channel on my DISH TV -- switching from contemporary to traditional. Faves: Silver Bells, Winter Wonderland, Let It Snow, Santa Baby, Silent Night. Also the Mannheim Steamroller renditions of Christmas classics.
Outings: I always think we should go into Seattle and do the city thing -- then I think of traffic and parking and crowds and rain; I generally talk myself out of it. There are so many holiday shows and events to choose from I get a bit overwhelmed. So, we're going to a Solstice Kirtan on my birthday. Non-traditional, I know, but will be among friends and my spirit will soar with mantra. I do hope to find a place to sing some carols at some point; might check out a church somewhere or a community sing thing. Going to a couple of holiday parties; not hosting any this year, which cuts down the stress considerably. Hosting means more decorating and more planning and more food prep, so we're taking a break.
Birthday: Yep. My birthday falls six days before Christmas, so there is an extra dose of festive in December for me. I actually LOVE my birthday and I love celebrating it. Hub and I always go away for a romantic weekend to our favorite little town on the Olympic Peninsula around mid-December; a friend is hosting a BD dinner for me (the milestone of turning 65 seemed to be an occasion for an extra fete), and the family will be by for BD brunch on the big day. (Note: I do not allow anyone to wrap my gifts in Christmas paper.)
Do I sound curmudgeonly? I actually don't feel that way. I feel relieved. I think I can actually pull this season off without sinking into December Depression if I can stay on top of keeping it simple, making decisions with thoughtfulness and intention, and quieting the "judge" who wants to scream "not good enough!" in my ear. I'm going to put on a happy face and find gratitude in the little things that truly bring me joy. Although, I admit, I'm currently working on the fact that the outdoor lights are not quite to my liking -- and parts of the deck garlands are already burned out -- that's totally not prefect from the get-go! Even so, I hope to look back on this year's Christmas posts and say, "You did it! You were merry!"
At least, that's the view from here....©
