JOYFUL WARRIOR

I just wrote a 150 word "article" for our local Indivisible newsletter.   I can hardly say hello in 150 words as my friends, and also readers here, can attest.  But I had a word limit, so I did it.  It was basically a brief (minuscule) summary of how I'm feeling and also about a book I am reading called, "The Lightmaker's Manifesto: How to Work for Change Without Losing Your Joy" by Karen Walrond.  

I'm in the throes of the affliction known as activist burn-out.

Like many (most?) women, I have very personal reasons for a very visceral mind/body response to men who bully, lie, gaslight, and defend their arrogance as well as their sexual acting out, assault, and predation.  I have this reaction because I'm NORMAL!  So 10 years of non-stop bullying, bragging, leering, and defensive gaslighting by the person who is this country's current president (and his supporters and sycophants) is a lot for a Highly Sensitive Person/Empath to deal with on a daily basis.  I might also mention the rampant cruelty and chaos of his ever-changing, ill-informed, and punitive policies and the total corruption of one party in our government -- things I never thought could happen in our democracy.  Naively I thought good people would stop the bad ones.  Nope.  They are not stopping them.  Millions voted for them and are cheering them on.  

So what's a lifelong activist to do?  Act, of course.  Resist. Push back. Rally. March. Make phone calls.  Send emails.  Go to meetings.  Attend webinars.  Organize.  There is a huge and persistent resistance to this Administration and we are, across the whole country in towns large and small, in rural areas, in Red States and Blue States, coming together to protest this authoritarian state debacle.  But the fact remains that the "bad guys" are in power.  The person who is president is doing as he pleases as his party lets him get by with the most egregious acts of cruelty and corruption -- his favorite combo.

So many good and effective organizations are calling for us to step up.  My inbox and texts are full of good people calling upon good people to "do something".  I want to.  I really do.  And in fact I am active in the doing of things. I read commentators, follow the news; I show up at rallies, marches, meetings; I call my legislators frequently; I post on social media about events I hope others will join with me.  I've joined organizations, helped organize meetings and events, and I work for and donate to candidates who support my values -- in policy and humanity.  

And yet, every morning I open my email to find dozens of emails that are 'political' -- news flashes, updates, essays, newsletters, calls to action, and solicitations for donations.  I've reluctantly "unfollowed" even candidates, commentators, and organizations I admire because it's just too much right now.  I feel inundated, and in that flood of content I feel overwhelmed, like I'm drowning.  I can't possibly do enough.  I can't change anything in a meaningful way.  I feel hopeless.  And there it is -- the very definition of burn-out.

And that's exactly what the authoritarians want to hear.  Their objective is to wear us down, wear us out, and get us to stop fighting back.  That's why when one of us steps back, another needs to step up. We have to give each other space to breathe and recover and get back to it.  We can do that when we know others are there to step in for a bit.  AND maybe we can prevent the worst cases of burn-out if we can find a way to be activist that is more creative and better suited to our unique skills, interests, and passions.  Maybe it can be a joyful experience!

I have only started reading the aforementioned book, but it is giving me hope and motivation.  Pushing back, resisting, fighting, etc conjures a type of war.  It's necessary to protest, but can we make the job easier by embracing our gentle Inner Warrior rather than arming her for battle?

The author of the book is asking me to consider:  What are my passions and gifts?  How can I bring the joy I feel in pursuing those into my activist life?

I realize I am happy when I am with like-minded people working toward a common goal.  Well, that's why I love a rally and a march, at least the ones I've participated in locally, with crowds of smiling people having a good time and supporting and encouraging each other while we hold up our signs of protest.

I realize I am happy when I can support people doing the hard work of organizing.  That's why I love sending "atta-girl" texts and emails and cards and giving hugs and little gifts to the people I admire who are doing the everyday heavy lifting it takes to plan a meeting or an event and pull it off.  They are on the front lines and deserve to be recognized.

I realize I am happy when my creative skills can be employed to support friends and strangers alike to recognize the hard work they are doing and take a moment of reflection.  For example I make small felted hearts to give away as part of the 1000 Hearts Project. These little pocket hearts are meant to be squeezed when one feels the need for support, comfort, or encouragement for any reason.  I have a bowl of them ready at the registration table at our Indivisible events.  

I realize I am happy when I can write -- that little newsletter piece or this blog post -- about my own experiences so that others might be able to relate and find solace in knowing they are not alone with their own thoughts and feelings.

I realize I am happy when I can bring awareness of self-care to those who are starting to feel the effects of non-stop activism.  I used my yoga teacher training to create a Yoga for Activists practice that incorporates mindful breath and meditation with movements that help build strength and flexibility for holding up those signs and making those long marches!

I realize I am happy when I am being a role model for my granddaughters in taking action in the wider world on behalf of those who are less privileged, taking action to defend our democracy, taking action to make a better place for them and those who come after them.

My very favorite moment happened several weeks ago when my granddaughters were staying with us and I had to get them into the car to go somewhere.  The backseat was full of my stuff -- caps, sweatshirts, shoes, a big protest sign, my yoga bag....  I said, "Oh, hold it a minute.  Let me get my protest sign and yoga bag out of the way."  My oldest granddaughter (15) chuckled and commented, "That's so YOU, Grandma!"

I laughed so hard. I hugged her and we laughed together.  I couldn't have been paid a higher complement. That joyful moment will remain with me as I take a little step back, recover, and join the fray again, using my skills, passions, and talents to sustain, rather than drain me. 

I realize that I am happy when I can laugh and find joy in activism.  The weariness fades and I have the confidence to know it all counts and it all helps (even the little things), even when I start to doubt it.  Onward!

At least that's the view from here...©

Photo Credit: Warrior Image from www.pixabay.com